Yeah, I'm sure that's why...

Unhappy love affair explains Rice stance on Iran

Somehow I think there's more to it than being jilted by a man back in college...

Now THAT'S a lot of baby!

Baby girl weighs in at nearly 14 pounds

That's just under the combined weights of the two Junior Chickens at birth. Ouch!

A novel way to avoid arrest...

Strippers scare off tree guards

I like the term "Tree Mafia". What, if you cross them you get the top of a Ficus in your bed?

It's about time...

That something I like is now good for me. Dark chocolate seen healthy for arteries.

True to JAMA's mission statement of "more medicine and bigger words" is this quote: "The dilatory effect of chocolate under resting conditions can be attributed to improved nitric oxide bioavailability, prostacyclin increase, direct effect of chocolate in smooth muscle cells, or activation of central mechanisms,"

A thing of beauty...

I bet you never knew Tom was a Sith...

Mmm...honey...

I like honey and all, but 450 pounds of it seems like a bit much...

Graduation Rage?

Dude, you want a seat show up on time!

Ouch...

Man Swallows Key, Locksmith Uses X-Ray

I'm not sure I buy the "accidentally swallowed the key" thing. And the article doesn't mention how many sixpacks these boys had had before the swallowing, either.

Those crazy Canadians

I mean really...Motley Crue and Gordon Lightfoot on the same bill? I'm hoping Vince and Tommy give ol' Gordon a beatdown for his trouble.

Marijuana-Flavored Candy

Ah, that sweet, sweet grassy taste. Heck, if they still sell candy cigarettes why not candy joints?

Why I love eBay

Because everyone can get in on the fun of miraculous celebrity toast!

This stuff makes me tired...

OK, so I can understand that your religious beliefs might make you discount the Big Bang. And I can understand that you might want to go in for the whole "Intelligent Design" concept. And I understand that the theory of evolution is just that, a theory. But really...boycotting a movie because it MENTIONS Evolution? That's just crazy.

Ouch!

Man, this is not how I'd want to wake up!

Potato Farmers Loathe 'Couch Potato' Term

Well, I think the term "Red Headed Stepchild" is disrespectful to us redheads, but you don't see me protesting for it's removal from the dictionary...

'You've got to find what you love,'

Jeez, and to think that for my graduation we had then House Speaker Tom Foley. And I don't remember him saying anything this cool!

They're all crazy.

The British, that is...

Headline of the week

Or at least of the day...

Giant Balls of 'Snot' Explain Ocean Mystery

Bad kitty!

Bad! This is why we have fish...

Cats use fax as toilet, spark house fire

Another way to cut polution

So Biodiesel is supposed to make your car's exhaust smell like french fries. I don't think I want to know what this little device will make it smell like. Seriously. I don't.

Penguin STDs

Penguins can get chlamydia? Who knew?

Apartment full of desiccated corpses

No, it's not a new band name, it's an actual apartment. And it's actually full of desiccated corpses. Or it was, anyway, before they took 'em away...

Nothing says "secretive religious sect" like leaving dead Grandpa in his bed for 10 years...yeesh.

Dedication to the 30-minute guarantee

Now this guy is one dedicated pizza man! I don't think I'd continue to deliver the pies after being shot in the leg...

Man's leg lands in yard

Man, there are some things you just don't want to find in your yard. I think this one is close to the top of the list.

Soilent Green

Is made out of tofu? Does anyone else find this just...wrong? I mean, sure, if you're trapped in a plane crash in the Andes I can understand having a nice long pig steak, but do we REALLY need a non-meat product that tastes like human flesh?

"If we could get a real headhunter to do a taste test that would be best," he says. In the meantime, you'll have to take his word for it.

Maybe he can send some to that German guy to get his oppinion.

Gauss Rifle? Gauss Rifle!

Here's a cool demo of how to build a Gauss Rifle, if by "Gauss Rifle" you mean "Ruler that shoots steel marbles". Still the concept is the same - magnetic acceleration of a metal projectile. Sweet...