Finally!

A way to keep the butter at that perfect spreadable temperature. Not that leaving it out on the counter didn't work, but still, in the summer it gets a bit runny...

Nothing says "Happy Thanksgiving"...

...like smacking the family in the head with a pipe. Yeesh...

Things that will screw you up for life

Killing your girlfriend by kissing her.

I've got a peanut allergy, but thankfully not a severe one. That is one fucked up magic show, Moses Malone.

Not the source of the leak...

Glad they cleared THAT up...

Jarvis States He Is Not Woodward Leak Source

Um...ewwww!

What, not enough borsht in Rostov-On-Don, Russia?

Russian Woman, Sons Accused of Cannibalism

The most f'd up thing I've read about in months

And it doesn't matter whether you read the Reuters version or this one from the AP version, it's nasty (both links pop). The headlines tell it all:

AP: "Ants Reportedly Eat Woman's Eye in India"
Reuters: "Ants eat away woman's eye in hospital"

Nice of the AP to put in that "reportedly" there, like maybe it didn't happen...of course, they're the ones that say the woman died, while Reuters mentions none of that.

In any case, having your eye eaten out of your head while you're in a hospital is the stuff of a Wes Craven movie. Remind me to always carry a big can of Raid and maybe some ant poison powder if I ever go to India, on the off chance that I end up in a Calcutta hospital.

Cool mom? Certainly. Hot mom? Hardly!

At least, not hot in this picture...who knows after a few bottles of tequila and some e...

'Cool mom' gets 30 years for sex parties

It was 30 years ago today...

Can't think of a good line to rhyme with that a la Sgt. Pepper. Anyhow, 30 years ago today a ship sank and led Gordon Lightfoot to write what is possibly the worst song ever recorded. Hope you found a good way to commemorate the event...maybe by burning Gordon in effigy or something.

This wasn't in the brochure...

Cruise liner outruns armed pirate boats

Look, honey! This one has golf, gourmet buffets and three swimming pools! Oh, and what's this? A chance of pirate attack? We are so there!

Information I could have used in college

What is the Ultimate Jell-O Shot?

Now this takes balls...

Not that you've got a lot to lose if you're on deat row, I suppose...hate to be the deputy that let this guy out!

Convicted killer dons street clothes, escapes from jail

Comment thingy is back up...

Thanks to BK for pointing out that the comment thingy was all messed up...I blame the wonder that is the wheel mouse. 'cause God knows I'd never purposely select to limit the few comments I get to "members", now, would I?

It's a great day for glue-based lawsuits

Although this one wasn't quite as personal as the other...wonder if he'd have sued if someone did the old "saran wrap over the bowl" trick?

Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet

This is wrong in so, so, SO many ways!

Man Sues Ex-Girlfriend Over Glue Attack

More fun for Brownie

All I can say is I hope I'm never investigated by a congressional committee, 'cause some of the crap I e-mail people about is nearly as assinine as Brownie's "I got it at Nordstroms...Are you proud of me?" e-mail.

CNN.com - 'Can I quit now?' FEMA chief wrote as Katrina raged - Nov 3, 2005