Best. Headline. Ever.

Operation removes lightbulb from anus

And the key line in the article: "We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Complicated indeed.

Rush vs ED...

Well, it appears that America's favorite wind bag is having a little deflation problem.

Man, first the Vioxx, then the Viagra...what V drugs are left? Vallium, I suppose, but that's so, oh, 70s.

A man with a mission:

To make the World's Largest Rubber Band Ball.

Because someone had to do it...

If only I'd seen this before Father's Day...

'cause every Dad needs a Stonehenge Watch. Just look at these features!

• Pocket watch with chain
  
• Scale replica of the major components of the 5,000 year-old megalithic monument
  
• Analog watch on the reverse side of the watchcase
  
• Includes: watch, chain, shadow casting gnomon, working compass and instructions

And, as importantly, shouldn't "Shadow Casting Gnomons" be the name of a band? Yes, yes it should.

Well, duh...

Thanks to a Rat study we now have further proof that eating dirt as a kid is a good idea. For Father's Day I'll take 'em out back and start them in on the mud pies.

Nominee for understatement of the week

From a story on CNN.com with the delightful headline "Severed head flies from truck in 'bizarre and tragic' collision":

"It was one of the more horrific and complex crime scenes on memory," Hightower said. "A woman and her child killed in a crash, and a severed head from an earlier homicide: It's nothing short of bizarre and tragic."

From the "I may not know art, but I know what I like" school of thinking

Art gallery loses its head, displays plinth

"Plinth" being the thing that the sculpture stands on. Apparently the sculpture (a head) and the stand were separated and, according to a statement by the Royal Academy, "Given their separate submission, the two parts were judged independently. The head was rejected. The base was thought to have merit and accepted."

Man, that must have been once nice plinth. Or one really crappy head...

Yet another favorite web site

Google Idol. Unearthing the world's talent...so you don't have to.

As fun as the auditions for American Idol are, wouldn't it be better if the people were lip-synching to real singers' work on a web cam? Of course it would. Which is why Google Idol is so darn great. It almost makes me want to bust a move.

Almost.

Logan's directorial debut

So Logan Chicken, age 9, is now a director of film. I'll post more of his work at a later date, but here's his first forray in to the world of stop-motion animation. I served as technical consultant, camera man, and Lego-wrangler, although he handled the shark's exit (which, I hope you'll agree, is far more realistic than his lame entrance).

What I love possibly most of all is that the "Handless Guy" is smiling as he walks off. And now, without further ado, here it is:

Handless Guy (Because of shark)

My new favorite web site

Where can you see the Internet's finest lip synch stars? Google Idol, that's where.

Adding to the list...

The list of people I don't really want to see topless: Deputy Dawn Rene Roberson of the Garland County, Arkansas, sheriff's department. Apparently she was on several other peoples' list too, 'cause they called the authorities on her and now she's out of a job.

Proof?

So, I read the following quote in this story on Yahoo's news page today: " 'The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,' the official said. 'A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.' "

So, is that conclusive proof that God does not exist? I'd have to say no, it just proves that if God does exist she's perfectly willing to let people kill themselves. And I have no problem with that.