The reason they now televise spelling

Because of moments like this.

This one goes to 11

Yes, it's true, Logan Chicken is officially 11 today. Here, as last year, is a lovely slide show of his birthdays through the years...

Gotta love the Brits

Why? Because they say stuff like this: "It's sweaty on there but I'm going round and round until I vomit."

Nothing sticks it too the man like drunken revelry on the Tube.

Red hot birthday action

Nothing spells birthday party like bumper cars! And, of course, Dad didn't bring the camera along so all we've got is this crappy cell-phone shot. Ah well...

So it's 11:17 as I type this. The boys are settling in the basement playing Atari Flashback ('cause the XBox is toast), the two girls are upstairs watching Napoleon Dynamite. I predict they'll be asleep by 11:30. The boys? Well, I doubt they'll match last year's 5 AM bed time. I'm guessing more like, oh, 1:15. Maybe earlier.

Surgery date? Check. Mariners' loss? Check.

Checked both off the list today. Eye surgery next Wednesday afternoon, M's loss tonight. Whee!

Technically I must agree with Steve Chicken that tonight's game was better than the last one we went to. In the last game the M's gave up 10 runs in the first two innings or so, and never had a chance. In tonight's game after Silva gave up 6 earned runs in 2/3 of an inning (although I'd say technically it should be 5, since the first hit was really an error) the bullpen only gave up one more. And the M's put 4 on the board to make it almost a game. Not quite a game, but close enough that you could close your eyes and imagine they might win.

And as for the surgery, I've got a pre-op appointment Monday to review what's going to happen, then I show up Wednesday at 11:30 or so and go under around 1. Should be out of the OR by 3 or 4, then groggy the rest of the night. At least they got me in at a moderate time...I'm going to have to eat a second dinner or something before bed on Tuesday 'cause otherwise "no food after midnight" is going to hurt. And I don't like hurt.

All atwitter about false eye sockets

So two updates. First, I'm on the twitter. So now you can "track" me and get "tweets" or whatever the hell the kids are going on about.

Second, I've decided to go ahead with the eye surgery because, really, how often do you get a piece of space-age polymer stuck in your head on purpose? Not nearly often enough, that's how often. And key to the decision was the realization that I could then post even more gnarly photos of my recovering eye for you to gag over. Because I'm all about you, the Chicken Blog reader.

Another eye update

Saw another eye doctor today, this time seeing the guy who will get the joy of slicing me open should I opt to go that route. The highlight of the visit, other than the stinging dye drops, was getting to see him flip through my CT scan like a flip book. Pretty cool technology, and unfortunately not available on the web. Otherwise I'd post a shot of my blowout fracture, which really does look like a blowout. Basically as you look at the image you see one nice oval eye socket - the right one - and one where the bottom kind of drops away - the injured left one.

So the verdict from Dr. Kim is that I have "a medium blowout fracture". It's not huge enough to require immediate surgery, but it's not so small that there's no concern. He explained that the two indications for surgery were double vision that doesn't clear up (mine did), and recession of the eye. Which basically means that since there's no floor to the eye socket the eye starts to sink back in your head. Which, apparently, is purely cosmetic, but could make me look pretty freaky.

So surgery is an option. On the positive side, I'd get to spend a night in the hospital and would finally get that sweet shiner I'd hoped for. On the negative side, I could lose the vision in the eye, end up with double vision, get a nasty infection, or any of a whole slew of nasty after-effects. On the positive side, Dr. Kim has been doing this for like 20 years and has only had one person lose their vision. On the negative side, that was like 6 weeks ago. But on the positive side, the woman who lost her vision was elderly, and maybe my eye is stronger than hers. But on the negative side, if it's not then I get to live a lot longer than her with a bum eye.

And then when I got home Paige asked the question I'd forgotten to ask: What did he say about the trip? So now I've got to call them back tomorrow and say "hey, I'm leaving town for a couple weeks at the end of June...will that be a problem?" Whee!

Another milestone

So I think I speak for all dads when I say there are a few milestones in your son's life that you look forward to with great anticipation. Sure, there are the obvious ones like the first girlfriend, the wedding, the birth of the first grand child. There are the sports-themed ones: game winning home run/touchdown/goal/basket, game-saving catch/tackle/save/blocked shot, medals in track or swimming, whatever. There are the intellectual ones: Straight As, perfect SAT scores, big AP scores, getting in to Harvard or wherever. There are the other organizational / religious things: confirmation, bar mitzvah, becoming an Eagle Scout, joining the Army, whatever.

And then there are the little things. So far, that's what we've hit. 'cause hey, Logan's not even 11 yet, so the whole Eagle Scout thing is a ways off. But we've had a few...

The first key milestone in Logan's life, as viewed by me, was when he was old enough to get me a beer. It didn't last too long, but for a few weeks there he was willing.

The next was probably joining Cub Scouts and getting his Arrow of Light, just for the "I remember doing that" factor.

The latest came today with his first mowing of the lawn. He didn't mow the whole thing, and the half that he did mow was rather, shall we say, haphazard. But he went back over the parts he missed, and hey, it's a half of the lawn I didn't have to mow. And hopefully the promise of money will have him mowing it more often as the summer goes on! Hopefully...

Folking Life with Dan

So Memorial Day weekend brings Seattle's Folklife Festival to town, a gathering of hippies, wannabe hippies, buskers, and food vendors to the Seattle Center, all trying to separate us from our hard earned cash. And succeed they did, at least for the Chicken children...Logan took an early birthday present in the form of two beaded key chains - one dolphin (or possibly barracuda), one frog - to hold all his nonexistent keys. Not wanting to be left behind, Maya successfully pleaded her case for a hair barrette thing. Underground economy: stimulated!

The main reason for going, other than the economic stimulus and hippie sightings, was to meet up with my old college friend Dan. Dan's now a college English teacher and poet out in Kansas, but since his mom and brother still live in Seattle he comes to town on occasion. And this was one such, and we actually put in some effort and met up. Had a nice wander through the Center, a fun-filled trip on the ol' Metro #5 up to north Seattle, and a delightful dinner at Saltoro. Man, their food is good.

And here is the photographic proof! No good shots of hippies or spin-dancing, just of Dan and Paige, and of the kids climbing on bronze whales...

A nice lazy weekend

Man, what a fine, lazy weekend! And best of all, it ain't over yet. Although tomorrow promises to be less lazy than yesterday and today...

Why so lazy, you ask? Well, we packed up and headed over to Wenatchee to visit some friends yesterday. The main activity? Sitting around. Awww yeah...couldn't even surf the net (or update the blog) 'cause their PC wouldn't connect. I put in 15 or 20 minutes trying to figure it out, but it was beyond my meager ninja skills to correct. Hence yesterday's cell-phone photo post (something you'll have to get used to during our big trip to Wisconsin...no wifi on the train, so any posts during that leg will be either photo or txt posts from the phone in those few moments when we've got coverage).

So we got there around 1 PM (after a gorgeous drive over highway 2), just in time for a little lunch and a nap. Then had some barbecue action for dinner with some friends of theirs, basically sitting around eating and swapping "how I got hurt in my youth" stories (my dislocated thumb was trumped by the guy friend's dislocated shoulder that was apparently so severe it made a passerby hurl) while the kids played whatever it was they were playing (Legos or Xbox, I think). Then today was spent lazing around or petting the kittens next door (Maya's favorite pastime). And no, stupid me didn't get any pictures of the kittens. They were super cute, though...the boy orange, the two girls kind of calico. Skittish, but cute.

After another drive over Highway 2 (slightly less beautiful today thanks to the rain) we're home and back on the Internets. Tomorrow is Folklife, which promises to be full of hippies but hopefully also relaxing!

Cell phone update

Saturday eye update: the banana slug is bigger, but that's about it. Kind of sad I never got a real shiner...

Two thumbs up

That's both thumbs, if I'm counting right. Took the kids to see Speed Racer tonight, and I have to say that contrary to the crappy reviews I must agree with my co-workers: it's a hoot. I thought it payed great homage to the original cartoon, and while the driving scenes were at times completely incomprehensible, that's pretty much how I remembered the cartoon being. Sure, if I'd been epileptic I would have spent half the movie in a seizure, but I'm not so instead I spent it being entertained.

Better than Iron Man? No. But certainly better than The Flintstones, which we watched for free on on demand last night...

Consarnit!

Or however that's spelled...

So tonight I finally got the new computer up and running, the auxiliary data drive moved, everything hooked up, and I was, I thought, ready to rock. Except for one little problem...the stupid-ass sound card won't amplify my microphone enough. So I have to boost the sound with software, which sounds like crap. So I'm recording the wonders for KYA on the old PC, hooked up to the kids' monitor, running off a thumb drive. Which is just insanely crappy. And stupid.

So...what next? Buy a real sound card? Get an amplifying mixer? One of the above, I'm thinking...

Still not Wolverine, but getting better...

The eye, anyway, looks better. Neck still hurts like heck, but I was able to last a couple more hours at work today, and I don't look quite as scary as a couple days ago. Still don't have retractable adamantium claws, though...

Apparently I'm not Wolverine after all

And here I was hoping the whole bike crash thing would reveal some mutant healing ability. Rats. Instead I have to sit here typing on a sore finger (thanks to taking the band-aid off to do dishes, then forgetting to put it back on before coming down to blog) and a stiff neck. Although the neck did get me out of work early...not in a good way, mind you, but rather in a "if I don't lie down soon I'm going to be super grumpy" kind of way.

Oh, and I learned that wincing when a potato squirts me in the face as I stab it with a fork really, really hurts. So I'm not going to do that (poke potatoes) for a while.

Monday eye update

So I went to the eye doctor today and spent the better part of two hours sitting around the waiting room surrounded by geriatrics. And one guy roughly my age who was getting laser surgery. And in the 10 minutes or so I was with the doctor they put just about every drop in the building in my eyes and shined a wide variety of lights in both of them. I got the dye drop that does something cool with blue light, I got the drops that sting like hell and do something else also, and I got dilated. Because, you know, my vision wasn't bad enough with the seeing double on the left side thing.

Actually, the double vision is definitely better today, only occurring when I look up and left, or really far left. So this eye doctor said "well, it's still too early to tell if we'll need to operate, since things are tracking well in the middle which is where you normally use your eyes. We'd hate to fix a problem up and left and somehow knock the middle off track." Good to know.

So I get to go back next week once the swelling has gone down more and meet with the doctor that, should I need surgery, will do it. In the mean time it's ice, ibuprophen, bacitracin, and some nice dried plasma crusties around my eye. Mmmm...crusties...

Speaking of, here are some shots from tonight:

Dad, why do I have to wear a bike helmet?

Well, son, for the simple reason that a $40 helmet is cheaper than a new head. As I so capably demonstrated today. First let's set the scene...

I'm riding in the Red Hook Haul Ash ride, from Woodinville out to Fremont and back. I'm riding with several friends and about, oh, 200 other people. We head out on the Samamish River Trail up to Bothell, the cross over to the Burke Gilman. All heavily traveled, all familiar, and all really busy today. So we get up to Kenmore and there's this area where they're widening the road and have therefore closed the trail. So we dump down on to a surface street and keep going. Easy peasy.

Well, along in there at some point this chick passes me and her bike's making a weird clicky noise. So I'm looking at the bike trying to figure out where it's coming from when I hear someone yelling "look out! Look out!" So I look out, and see about 30 feet in front of me a couple walking a dog heading right for me, 3 abreast. So I hit the brakes.

The only problem is I failed to follow rule #1 of bike riding: Hit the rear break hard first, then the front. I don't know if I was riding off the rear break or what, but I SLAMMED on the front and over I went. Thinking (or maybe thinking after I landed), "gee, this is exactly how Cousin Gerry died..."

So, now to the gory details. Here's why you wear a helmet...so that all this damage doesn't happen to your head!

My helmet - which I bought about a month ago because my old one didn't fit right - performed exactly as it should: it crushed, it scraped, and it kept my skull from crushing and scraping. Not so much for my face...

One thing to note: the shininess in the picture is from bacitracin, not from rampant bleeding.

The glasses took a nice hit too, probably saving me more damage to the eye area:

So instead of spending a lovely Sunday riding my bike for a few hours and then drinking beer, I instead spent it sitting in the Group Health Urgent Care where, after 4 or so hours and a CT Scan I learned that I have a minor fracture to my outer left orbit (I'm sure there's some fancy medical term, but I don't have a medical dictionary handy and don't feel like looking it up). According to the ER doc that probably doesn't mean anything, but I get to blow off work tomorrow and go spend more hours with the eye doctor to make sure. Fun!

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So i went off on Red Hook's Haul Ash ride today, and everything was great until I hit the road with my face.

A hot sweaty night of Derby blowouts

So remember back in April when it snowed the morning of RCRG Season 4 Bout 2 and game-time temperatures were in the low 40s and I kept my coat on the whole time? Yeah, that was nothing like this month's bout. Nothing at all. Where April was cold and wet, May was hot and muggy. Where in April both teams I was rooting for lost, in May they won (well, at least the important team, my beloved Throttle Rockets, won...didn't really care about the DLF / Slaughter County travel-team match). And where in April I was hungry and paid too much for a burger, in May it was too hot to feel hungry so I just drank. Gotta stay hydrated, after all.

I'll post photos tomorrow or Monday, but the brief recap is this:

Throttle Rockets vs. Grave Danger:

TR finally played the way they should have been playing all season. I don't know if this was because Grave Danger forgot how to play defense, or if GD isn't very good this year, or what. But TR was definitely firing on all cylinders. The offensive highlights were great jams from Leeloo, Darth Skater and Blond an' Bitchin'. It felt like Leeloo was jamming every other time in the second half, and she definitely got gassed. BaBs was, as always, able to out-race everyone on the track without seeming to break a sweat, which is quite a feat given the temperature in Hangar 30. And on defense they really kept it together and controlled GD's scoring with some heavy hitting from Billie Boilermaker and great pack control from Jowanna Ass Kickin'. I don't remember the exact final score, but it was something like 140 to 70. All that matters is the Rockets are now 1 - 1 and tied with the Sockit Wenches for second place.

DLF vs. Slaughter County All-Stars:

Boy, talk about shooting fish in a barrel...my friend Dave predicted that DLF wouldn't care and Slaughter County would keep it close through the first half, then come out in the second and shut them down. And he was right, except for that "keep it close" part. Slaughter County is in their first year as a league and it showed. They had some good speed skating jammers - Speedy Guns Haul-Ass lived up to her name, and Darth Maul'her did her best to emulate TR's Darth Skater. But their defense was virtually nonexistent, or at least not enough to contain the inhuman power of the DLF's Burnett Down, Summer Assault, and Punchin' Judy. Final score, something like 170 to 95. Ouch!

The cycling adventures of Maya Chicken

So as I believe I mentioned before, Maya's now off the training wheels and riding her bike. Which is great, 'cause it inspires her brother to go out and ride with her. It's also great, 'cause she's got a couple friends who live near enough that she can ride to their house once she gets a little more comfortable on the bike.

What's not so great is that she's not totally comfortable on the bike. Probably doesn't help that she's riding one with 14" wheels when she should be on a 16" or 20"...that problem will, we hope, be taken care of tomorrow when we trade her current bike with a friend who has a bigger one (but a smaller daughter).

The upshot of this love of being on the bike but not being comfortable on the bike is the newfound need for bandaids. Twice in the last two days she's gone down, both times skinning her left knee. Today's was especially choice, since it was in a gravel alley and the rock or whatever she landed on cut her knee right above the bandaids from yesterday's scrape, and in fact sliced one of them pretty well too.

There is a good side to this, though...she's getting tougher. She cries when she crashes, she yells at me when I ask to look at the wound, but eventually she realizes that she can't just sit in the middle of the road and so gets up, shakes it off, and gets back on the bike.

And really, isn't that what the whole "learning to ride" thing is about?