Surgery recap with photos!

No, not photos of the actual procedure...and no one offered me a video of it or anything either, so I don't think any are forthcoming. But here's the rundown...

Got up yesterday morning, did a little work so I could avoid taking a sick day, then around 11 Paige and I headed to Group Health Central. Got parked, got checked in, paid the co-pay (a whopping $15...I'm assuming a bill for more will come later), picked up a living will form (which I then proceeded not to fill out 'cause I didn't have a pen...) and went back to the prep room (after a wait of like 5 minutes...I swear to God in all the appointments I've had since this dang accident that was the shortest by far).

In the prep room I was given these sweet clothes:

Socks with grippy bits on the downside

A sweet surgical gown


A gown with an air conditioner attachment!


And just to be safe, the word "Yes" written
above the eye they were supposed to work on.

I then talked to the anesthesiologist, the doctor, a nurse, another nurse, the anesthesiologist's assistant, and probably some other nurses. I got weighed in the gown, which was great since apparently my clothes weigh 7 pounds or so, 'cause that's what I'd lost since I was weighed the afternoon before (the fact that I hadn't eaten since 10 PM probably didn't hurt). Eventually someone stuck an IV port in my arm (which Paige didn't photograph 'cause it was standard issue) and it was time to go off to the OR.

Having never had surgery at Group Health (my only prior surgical experience was an outpatient elbow job at a private surgical clinic) I wasn't sure what to expect. But it was fairly standard: long hallway, lots of doors with people being worked on. The only difference with my room was that, for some reason, the windows in the door were boarded up. I really should have asked why, but I had other things on my mind.

The last things I remember were the anesthesiologist's assistant pinning my left arm up in a blanket because "there's no arm rest on this side and it'll get all floppy". That and looking up at the lights. Then it was 2+ hours later and I was in another room being spooned ice and given some saltines. And let me tell you, saltines and crushed ice in a totally dry mouth are not a good combination. Especially when your throat is kind of sore from the intubation tube, which according to Paige they had to insert twice because my stiff neck wouldn't extend far enough the first time. Fun!

After downing the crackers and a couple vicodin I was hauled up to my "EOS" or Extended Observation Station". Also known as "hospital room". And Paige was allowed in to see me and take another photo:

Relaxed in bed, icing the face, unable to smile
right because my left upper lip is numb again. Stupid lip.

Some time after that they asked if I was nauseous. I wasn't...had been a couple times right after surgery, but that had subsided. So they brought in dinner, which did the trick. As soon as the lid came off and the smell of teryaki chicken (which I love) hit my nose, the nausea hit haaaarrrrdddd. So back went the lid, away went the tray, and I breathed through my mouth for a while. Eventually I was able to eat a roll and a few bites of chicken, but not much else.

Eventually, maybe around 9 (after Paige had left, come back with Maya, and left again) I had an apetite so I ate the carrot cake I'd "forgotten" to send home with her and a few mint Milanos she'd left behind. Then asked for a couple yogurts. And then at around 11:30 some cheese and crackers. Nothing like eating healthy in the middle of the night...

The night itself was, while not miserable, also not restful. I was warm most of the time, until I realized I was still wearing two pairs of socks. I wasn't very comfortable, since I'm not used to sleeping on an incline. I was balancing ice bags on my face using a pillow case (which, by the way, is very effective...). It was noisy, and when I put my ear plugs in I could hear my pulse rushing in my ears. And speaking of my pulse, it was elevated...not crazy, but up in the 110 range rather than my usual resting pulse of like 60 or so. Oh, and I had to get up and pee about every hour. So all in all I basically dozed off and on all night but never really slept. I don't think, anyway...

The other complaint about Group Health is the TV. I mean, really. In this day and age of digital cable, compact satellite, TiVo etc. if you're bed-ridden you should at least have something to watch, right? Wrong. Four channels, all broadcast: ABC, wavy NBC, PBS and CW. And to navigate, one button that goes up, then off, then on, then up, then off. Someone needs to set up an endowment with Group Health to pay for basic cable. Seriously.

Anyhow, this morning Dr. Kim came in, took off the bandage, looked at my eye, said it was moving fine (even if the double vision is worse than it was post-accident), told me to ice it all the time (except when blogging...I'm sure he said that), gave me 95 pills and ointments to use, and sent me on my way. Well, kind of...first Paige had to show up and take another photo:

Me this morning right before I got dressed.

Then I had to wait around for my final dose of antibiotics, a shot of some kind of steroid to help with swelling, and for the last of my meds to show up from the pharmacy. And finally at 11 or so we were free and came home, where after icing some more, taking some drugs, and eating some lunch I started this little blog entry, which has now taken 4 or 5 hours to complete. Whew!

One final picture, of my eye all swollen and puffy this afternoon:

Post-op cell phone update

Quick post-op update: checked out and on the way home. Double vision's back, but that's as expected. Hope it clears up soon!

Another eye shot

Haven't posted a picture of the eye lately, so I figured that since it's going to look like crap later today I might as well post some "before" shots, right? Right.

So, as you can see, there's still a couple red patches, but other than that I look normal. You'd never know that my left eye has recessed 0.5 mm since last week. I'm going to get the wife to bring the camera to the hospital so we can get some post-op shots with me looking all groggy and bandaged to post tomorrow when I get back home!

The reason they now televise spelling

Because of moments like this.

This one goes to 11

Yes, it's true, Logan Chicken is officially 11 today. Here, as last year, is a lovely slide show of his birthdays through the years...

Gotta love the Brits

Why? Because they say stuff like this: "It's sweaty on there but I'm going round and round until I vomit."

Nothing sticks it too the man like drunken revelry on the Tube.

Red hot birthday action

Nothing spells birthday party like bumper cars! And, of course, Dad didn't bring the camera along so all we've got is this crappy cell-phone shot. Ah well...

So it's 11:17 as I type this. The boys are settling in the basement playing Atari Flashback ('cause the XBox is toast), the two girls are upstairs watching Napoleon Dynamite. I predict they'll be asleep by 11:30. The boys? Well, I doubt they'll match last year's 5 AM bed time. I'm guessing more like, oh, 1:15. Maybe earlier.

Surgery date? Check. Mariners' loss? Check.

Checked both off the list today. Eye surgery next Wednesday afternoon, M's loss tonight. Whee!

Technically I must agree with Steve Chicken that tonight's game was better than the last one we went to. In the last game the M's gave up 10 runs in the first two innings or so, and never had a chance. In tonight's game after Silva gave up 6 earned runs in 2/3 of an inning (although I'd say technically it should be 5, since the first hit was really an error) the bullpen only gave up one more. And the M's put 4 on the board to make it almost a game. Not quite a game, but close enough that you could close your eyes and imagine they might win.

And as for the surgery, I've got a pre-op appointment Monday to review what's going to happen, then I show up Wednesday at 11:30 or so and go under around 1. Should be out of the OR by 3 or 4, then groggy the rest of the night. At least they got me in at a moderate time...I'm going to have to eat a second dinner or something before bed on Tuesday 'cause otherwise "no food after midnight" is going to hurt. And I don't like hurt.

All atwitter about false eye sockets

So two updates. First, I'm on the twitter. So now you can "track" me and get "tweets" or whatever the hell the kids are going on about.

Second, I've decided to go ahead with the eye surgery because, really, how often do you get a piece of space-age polymer stuck in your head on purpose? Not nearly often enough, that's how often. And key to the decision was the realization that I could then post even more gnarly photos of my recovering eye for you to gag over. Because I'm all about you, the Chicken Blog reader.

Another eye update

Saw another eye doctor today, this time seeing the guy who will get the joy of slicing me open should I opt to go that route. The highlight of the visit, other than the stinging dye drops, was getting to see him flip through my CT scan like a flip book. Pretty cool technology, and unfortunately not available on the web. Otherwise I'd post a shot of my blowout fracture, which really does look like a blowout. Basically as you look at the image you see one nice oval eye socket - the right one - and one where the bottom kind of drops away - the injured left one.

So the verdict from Dr. Kim is that I have "a medium blowout fracture". It's not huge enough to require immediate surgery, but it's not so small that there's no concern. He explained that the two indications for surgery were double vision that doesn't clear up (mine did), and recession of the eye. Which basically means that since there's no floor to the eye socket the eye starts to sink back in your head. Which, apparently, is purely cosmetic, but could make me look pretty freaky.

So surgery is an option. On the positive side, I'd get to spend a night in the hospital and would finally get that sweet shiner I'd hoped for. On the negative side, I could lose the vision in the eye, end up with double vision, get a nasty infection, or any of a whole slew of nasty after-effects. On the positive side, Dr. Kim has been doing this for like 20 years and has only had one person lose their vision. On the negative side, that was like 6 weeks ago. But on the positive side, the woman who lost her vision was elderly, and maybe my eye is stronger than hers. But on the negative side, if it's not then I get to live a lot longer than her with a bum eye.

And then when I got home Paige asked the question I'd forgotten to ask: What did he say about the trip? So now I've got to call them back tomorrow and say "hey, I'm leaving town for a couple weeks at the end of June...will that be a problem?" Whee!

Another milestone

So I think I speak for all dads when I say there are a few milestones in your son's life that you look forward to with great anticipation. Sure, there are the obvious ones like the first girlfriend, the wedding, the birth of the first grand child. There are the sports-themed ones: game winning home run/touchdown/goal/basket, game-saving catch/tackle/save/blocked shot, medals in track or swimming, whatever. There are the intellectual ones: Straight As, perfect SAT scores, big AP scores, getting in to Harvard or wherever. There are the other organizational / religious things: confirmation, bar mitzvah, becoming an Eagle Scout, joining the Army, whatever.

And then there are the little things. So far, that's what we've hit. 'cause hey, Logan's not even 11 yet, so the whole Eagle Scout thing is a ways off. But we've had a few...

The first key milestone in Logan's life, as viewed by me, was when he was old enough to get me a beer. It didn't last too long, but for a few weeks there he was willing.

The next was probably joining Cub Scouts and getting his Arrow of Light, just for the "I remember doing that" factor.

The latest came today with his first mowing of the lawn. He didn't mow the whole thing, and the half that he did mow was rather, shall we say, haphazard. But he went back over the parts he missed, and hey, it's a half of the lawn I didn't have to mow. And hopefully the promise of money will have him mowing it more often as the summer goes on! Hopefully...

Folking Life with Dan

So Memorial Day weekend brings Seattle's Folklife Festival to town, a gathering of hippies, wannabe hippies, buskers, and food vendors to the Seattle Center, all trying to separate us from our hard earned cash. And succeed they did, at least for the Chicken children...Logan took an early birthday present in the form of two beaded key chains - one dolphin (or possibly barracuda), one frog - to hold all his nonexistent keys. Not wanting to be left behind, Maya successfully pleaded her case for a hair barrette thing. Underground economy: stimulated!

The main reason for going, other than the economic stimulus and hippie sightings, was to meet up with my old college friend Dan. Dan's now a college English teacher and poet out in Kansas, but since his mom and brother still live in Seattle he comes to town on occasion. And this was one such, and we actually put in some effort and met up. Had a nice wander through the Center, a fun-filled trip on the ol' Metro #5 up to north Seattle, and a delightful dinner at Saltoro. Man, their food is good.

And here is the photographic proof! No good shots of hippies or spin-dancing, just of Dan and Paige, and of the kids climbing on bronze whales...

A nice lazy weekend

Man, what a fine, lazy weekend! And best of all, it ain't over yet. Although tomorrow promises to be less lazy than yesterday and today...

Why so lazy, you ask? Well, we packed up and headed over to Wenatchee to visit some friends yesterday. The main activity? Sitting around. Awww yeah...couldn't even surf the net (or update the blog) 'cause their PC wouldn't connect. I put in 15 or 20 minutes trying to figure it out, but it was beyond my meager ninja skills to correct. Hence yesterday's cell-phone photo post (something you'll have to get used to during our big trip to Wisconsin...no wifi on the train, so any posts during that leg will be either photo or txt posts from the phone in those few moments when we've got coverage).

So we got there around 1 PM (after a gorgeous drive over highway 2), just in time for a little lunch and a nap. Then had some barbecue action for dinner with some friends of theirs, basically sitting around eating and swapping "how I got hurt in my youth" stories (my dislocated thumb was trumped by the guy friend's dislocated shoulder that was apparently so severe it made a passerby hurl) while the kids played whatever it was they were playing (Legos or Xbox, I think). Then today was spent lazing around or petting the kittens next door (Maya's favorite pastime). And no, stupid me didn't get any pictures of the kittens. They were super cute, though...the boy orange, the two girls kind of calico. Skittish, but cute.

After another drive over Highway 2 (slightly less beautiful today thanks to the rain) we're home and back on the Internets. Tomorrow is Folklife, which promises to be full of hippies but hopefully also relaxing!

Cell phone update

Saturday eye update: the banana slug is bigger, but that's about it. Kind of sad I never got a real shiner...

Two thumbs up

That's both thumbs, if I'm counting right. Took the kids to see Speed Racer tonight, and I have to say that contrary to the crappy reviews I must agree with my co-workers: it's a hoot. I thought it payed great homage to the original cartoon, and while the driving scenes were at times completely incomprehensible, that's pretty much how I remembered the cartoon being. Sure, if I'd been epileptic I would have spent half the movie in a seizure, but I'm not so instead I spent it being entertained.

Better than Iron Man? No. But certainly better than The Flintstones, which we watched for free on on demand last night...

Consarnit!

Or however that's spelled...

So tonight I finally got the new computer up and running, the auxiliary data drive moved, everything hooked up, and I was, I thought, ready to rock. Except for one little problem...the stupid-ass sound card won't amplify my microphone enough. So I have to boost the sound with software, which sounds like crap. So I'm recording the wonders for KYA on the old PC, hooked up to the kids' monitor, running off a thumb drive. Which is just insanely crappy. And stupid.

So...what next? Buy a real sound card? Get an amplifying mixer? One of the above, I'm thinking...

Still not Wolverine, but getting better...

The eye, anyway, looks better. Neck still hurts like heck, but I was able to last a couple more hours at work today, and I don't look quite as scary as a couple days ago. Still don't have retractable adamantium claws, though...

Apparently I'm not Wolverine after all

And here I was hoping the whole bike crash thing would reveal some mutant healing ability. Rats. Instead I have to sit here typing on a sore finger (thanks to taking the band-aid off to do dishes, then forgetting to put it back on before coming down to blog) and a stiff neck. Although the neck did get me out of work early...not in a good way, mind you, but rather in a "if I don't lie down soon I'm going to be super grumpy" kind of way.

Oh, and I learned that wincing when a potato squirts me in the face as I stab it with a fork really, really hurts. So I'm not going to do that (poke potatoes) for a while.

Monday eye update

So I went to the eye doctor today and spent the better part of two hours sitting around the waiting room surrounded by geriatrics. And one guy roughly my age who was getting laser surgery. And in the 10 minutes or so I was with the doctor they put just about every drop in the building in my eyes and shined a wide variety of lights in both of them. I got the dye drop that does something cool with blue light, I got the drops that sting like hell and do something else also, and I got dilated. Because, you know, my vision wasn't bad enough with the seeing double on the left side thing.

Actually, the double vision is definitely better today, only occurring when I look up and left, or really far left. So this eye doctor said "well, it's still too early to tell if we'll need to operate, since things are tracking well in the middle which is where you normally use your eyes. We'd hate to fix a problem up and left and somehow knock the middle off track." Good to know.

So I get to go back next week once the swelling has gone down more and meet with the doctor that, should I need surgery, will do it. In the mean time it's ice, ibuprophen, bacitracin, and some nice dried plasma crusties around my eye. Mmmm...crusties...

Speaking of, here are some shots from tonight:

Dad, why do I have to wear a bike helmet?

Well, son, for the simple reason that a $40 helmet is cheaper than a new head. As I so capably demonstrated today. First let's set the scene...

I'm riding in the Red Hook Haul Ash ride, from Woodinville out to Fremont and back. I'm riding with several friends and about, oh, 200 other people. We head out on the Samamish River Trail up to Bothell, the cross over to the Burke Gilman. All heavily traveled, all familiar, and all really busy today. So we get up to Kenmore and there's this area where they're widening the road and have therefore closed the trail. So we dump down on to a surface street and keep going. Easy peasy.

Well, along in there at some point this chick passes me and her bike's making a weird clicky noise. So I'm looking at the bike trying to figure out where it's coming from when I hear someone yelling "look out! Look out!" So I look out, and see about 30 feet in front of me a couple walking a dog heading right for me, 3 abreast. So I hit the brakes.

The only problem is I failed to follow rule #1 of bike riding: Hit the rear break hard first, then the front. I don't know if I was riding off the rear break or what, but I SLAMMED on the front and over I went. Thinking (or maybe thinking after I landed), "gee, this is exactly how Cousin Gerry died..."

So, now to the gory details. Here's why you wear a helmet...so that all this damage doesn't happen to your head!

My helmet - which I bought about a month ago because my old one didn't fit right - performed exactly as it should: it crushed, it scraped, and it kept my skull from crushing and scraping. Not so much for my face...

One thing to note: the shininess in the picture is from bacitracin, not from rampant bleeding.

The glasses took a nice hit too, probably saving me more damage to the eye area:

So instead of spending a lovely Sunday riding my bike for a few hours and then drinking beer, I instead spent it sitting in the Group Health Urgent Care where, after 4 or so hours and a CT Scan I learned that I have a minor fracture to my outer left orbit (I'm sure there's some fancy medical term, but I don't have a medical dictionary handy and don't feel like looking it up). According to the ER doc that probably doesn't mean anything, but I get to blow off work tomorrow and go spend more hours with the eye doctor to make sure. Fun!

Multimedia message

So i went off on Red Hook's Haul Ash ride today, and everything was great until I hit the road with my face.

A hot sweaty night of Derby blowouts

So remember back in April when it snowed the morning of RCRG Season 4 Bout 2 and game-time temperatures were in the low 40s and I kept my coat on the whole time? Yeah, that was nothing like this month's bout. Nothing at all. Where April was cold and wet, May was hot and muggy. Where in April both teams I was rooting for lost, in May they won (well, at least the important team, my beloved Throttle Rockets, won...didn't really care about the DLF / Slaughter County travel-team match). And where in April I was hungry and paid too much for a burger, in May it was too hot to feel hungry so I just drank. Gotta stay hydrated, after all.

I'll post photos tomorrow or Monday, but the brief recap is this:

Throttle Rockets vs. Grave Danger:

TR finally played the way they should have been playing all season. I don't know if this was because Grave Danger forgot how to play defense, or if GD isn't very good this year, or what. But TR was definitely firing on all cylinders. The offensive highlights were great jams from Leeloo, Darth Skater and Blond an' Bitchin'. It felt like Leeloo was jamming every other time in the second half, and she definitely got gassed. BaBs was, as always, able to out-race everyone on the track without seeming to break a sweat, which is quite a feat given the temperature in Hangar 30. And on defense they really kept it together and controlled GD's scoring with some heavy hitting from Billie Boilermaker and great pack control from Jowanna Ass Kickin'. I don't remember the exact final score, but it was something like 140 to 70. All that matters is the Rockets are now 1 - 1 and tied with the Sockit Wenches for second place.

DLF vs. Slaughter County All-Stars:

Boy, talk about shooting fish in a barrel...my friend Dave predicted that DLF wouldn't care and Slaughter County would keep it close through the first half, then come out in the second and shut them down. And he was right, except for that "keep it close" part. Slaughter County is in their first year as a league and it showed. They had some good speed skating jammers - Speedy Guns Haul-Ass lived up to her name, and Darth Maul'her did her best to emulate TR's Darth Skater. But their defense was virtually nonexistent, or at least not enough to contain the inhuman power of the DLF's Burnett Down, Summer Assault, and Punchin' Judy. Final score, something like 170 to 95. Ouch!

The cycling adventures of Maya Chicken

So as I believe I mentioned before, Maya's now off the training wheels and riding her bike. Which is great, 'cause it inspires her brother to go out and ride with her. It's also great, 'cause she's got a couple friends who live near enough that she can ride to their house once she gets a little more comfortable on the bike.

What's not so great is that she's not totally comfortable on the bike. Probably doesn't help that she's riding one with 14" wheels when she should be on a 16" or 20"...that problem will, we hope, be taken care of tomorrow when we trade her current bike with a friend who has a bigger one (but a smaller daughter).

The upshot of this love of being on the bike but not being comfortable on the bike is the newfound need for bandaids. Twice in the last two days she's gone down, both times skinning her left knee. Today's was especially choice, since it was in a gravel alley and the rock or whatever she landed on cut her knee right above the bandaids from yesterday's scrape, and in fact sliced one of them pretty well too.

There is a good side to this, though...she's getting tougher. She cries when she crashes, she yells at me when I ask to look at the wound, but eventually she realizes that she can't just sit in the middle of the road and so gets up, shakes it off, and gets back on the bike.

And really, isn't that what the whole "learning to ride" thing is about?

Hey, the Internets are bigger now!

Today's excitement was the delivery of a used IBM 21" monitor. Old-school CRT action. Probably draws as much power as the 'fridge. But dang, it's definitely bigger than my old one. And bright...I seriously need to download the user manual and figure out how to adjust the color profile...

In other news, Tina the Galivanting Monkey has the same problem I do, only about 30 times worse. The problem? Staying up too damn late surfing the internet. I had no advice for her, since I do it too. But if you've got some advice on how to get my sorry butt in bed at a decent hour, please pass them on.

It's bike to work week!

Are ya bikin' to work? Me, not so much. Well, I'm going to ride tomorrow, which I suppose kind of counts. But not on Friday, the official "bike to work" day. Why? Because it'll be too hot, and too crowded. And for hot and crowds I've got Roller Derby on Saturday and Red Hook's Haul Ash on Sunday and that'll be quite enough, thank you.

5th grade girls + squirrels = funny

So I'm in Logan's classroom this morning doing a dog and pony show about banking and savings accounts. And to get the kids thinking about why we save money I ask "are there any animals that save things?" And these are the answers I get (all of them from girls, 'cause 5th grade boys don't like to answer questions...):

Girl #1: Monkeys. Monkeys save bananas. [giggle]

Me: Okayyyy...anything else?

Girl #1: Squirrels.

Me: Great! What do squirrels save?

Girl #1: Nuts! [all girls in the class erupt into laughter. The boys look kind of embarrassed]

Ah, yes. I vaguely remember being 10 and 11, when "Nuts" cracked me up...

 

More movie chat

Did I mention the one disappointment of Iron Man? I didn't? Well, it's that they saved the song for the credits, and then only used the instrumental bridge / guitar solo. I mean sure, the song and the super hero have basically nothing in common other than the name. And sure, having Ozzy sing

Now the time is here
For iron man to spread fear
Vengeance from the grave
Kills the people he once saved

wouldn't really match the whole "I want to save mankind" theme of the movie, but still...maybe they're saving that for the sequel.

In other news, while Speed Racer has been panned mercilessly by the critics, two people I work with saw it and liked it. And the kids want to go. So maybe that'll be Sunday afternoon's activity...

I am Iron Man!

Well, no, I'm not. But man, I sure would like a trip in the suit...

As part two of our stimulating of the economy we went to see Summer Blockbuster #1 this weekend. Took a pass on Speed Racer, and not just because of the lousy reviews...also because it didn't have Mrs. Chicken's fave actor Robert Downey Junior (who is no relation to Morton Downey Junior, even though they have the same middle and last names).

I don't have the mental capacity for a full-on review, nor do I think you have the patience to read it, so suffice it to say it was good escapist fun, as long as you don't try to analyze the physics of it like Logan. And Stan Lee's cameo was perfectly cast, I must say.

Doh! And again, Doh!

Totally spaced posting yesterday, putting yet another hole in my Blog 365 suit. And I liked that suit, too. so I'll post twice today, just to make up for it. And to make it easier than reading one long post. Well, maybe not easier, but what the heck.

So yesterday was our turn to "Stimulate the Economy" thanks to the perfect storm of the government rebate check, a computer going on the fritz, and the PTA auction. Starting with the computer (since the check is pretty obvious)...

Thursday night I booted up my desktop and it, well, didn't boot. Or, rather, it initialized, then the "Windows" screen with the progress lights going across it appeared, then after 10 seconds or so I got a flash of the famed blue screen of death and then it flipped over and started initializing again. It did this over, and over, and over. Didn't matter if I booted in Safe Mode, Last Best Configuration, or whatnot. I even tried booting from the WinXP install disk and got nothing. Then, on about the 73rd try, it finally booted all the way. So I recorded and loaded my shows ASAP, then ran the spyware and virus software and did a chkdsk on both drives. Well, OK, I didn't do those, but the computer did.

So, deciding that this was the beginning of the end for my 5-year-old Dell, I decided a trip to Fry's was in order. And several hundred bucks later I walked out with a new case, mother board, AMD chip, an assload of RAM, a 500 GB hard drive and a DVD burner with the fancy-pants "Lightscribe" labling stuff. Now I just have to put it all together...

As for the auction, well, you have to go in with the attitude that the money is all for the kids anyway, and whatever you get is just gravy. And we got a fair amount of gravy. First off, during the silent auction, Paige bid up a bunch of Fred Meyer gift cards to beyond face value because hey, we're going to use 'em anyway. Then we got some credit at Funtasia for the boy's birthday party, and in the Live auction ended up in a bidding war with the principal for a long weekend at a cabin near Mt. Baker. "Keep bidding" said Paige. "She'll go higher" said Paige. And she did, and she won, and then the guy who owns the cabin came up and told the auctioneer that he'd throw in a second weekend if we paid our last bid. Which was, oh, $250 over what our original stop point was. So we were stuck. But hey, it's for the kids, right? Right.

WTF?

I'll admit I'm not up on current pot smoking technology, but has security in today's high schools gotten to the point where you can no longer construct a bong in wood/metal shop? Or is it the fact that these kids were home schooled and therefore unable to access the necessary wood and/or metal-working tools that drove them instead to desecrate a grave and allegedly use the skull of an 11-year-old who died in 1921 to smoke their pot?

The wonder of reality tv

As I think I've mentioned before, while I loves me some TV I find I don't watch it as much as I used to. But there are a few shows I try to watch regularly, and in their standard time. Heroes, for one. And Spike's The Ultimate Fighter for another.

Heroes is pretty obvious: I like sci-fi, I like super heroes, it's well written, and that Claire chick is cute. So why Ultimate Fighter? Well, I think it's because it involves all the guilty voyeuristic pleasure of The Real World - a bunch of hyped up young people crammed into a house - and adds the special ingredient of focused violence.

I've watched this show since day 1, and while the in-house antics are occasionally (OK, make that "almost always") annoying and obnoxious, I keep coming back. And what keeps me coming back are two things: the fights and the fighter interviews. Let's look at why, shall we?

The fights: I have always harbored dreams of being a badass. I took Judo for, oh, a month or two in Junior High and never earned a belt. I took a week of Aikido in High School. I've been in one "real" fight that I can remember and was completely useless (in my defense I was drunk and already on the floor...surprisingly I cracked wise about something and the next thing I knew the guy was straddling my chest [or as the MMA guys call it, "in full mount"] and choking me). And yet in my fantasy life I'm a bad mofo and not to be messed with. Which is why it's my fantasy life and not my real life. So I'm captivated by guys who can actually beat the crap out of each other (and get the crap beaten out of them) and seem to enjoy it.

The fighter interviews: While some of these guys are moderately thoughtful and well spoken, a lot of them are complete knuckleheads. The knuckleheads are easily identified by their hyper macho posturing and the 90 degree turn to their TapOut baseball hats. And, as in life, the guy with the biggest mouth is usually the one on the short end of the stick. Or the pain end of the beatdown. Or both. Take, for example, this week's matchup between Matt Brown and Jeremy May. Pretty much everyone expected Matt to win...he just plain looks dangerous. But Jeremy couldn't shut up about how great he was, finally busting out with a genius remark that "I think I'm gonna put the hurtin' on him. In a good Christian way..."

For the record, Jeremy didn't make it out of the first round before he was TKO'd. As expected.

Maya's 2-wheelin'!

So Miss Maya has finally kicked the training-wheel habit, and here's the tiny, grainy celphone video proof!

Breakfast deliciousness

Man, I totally should have posted about this on Sunday, but I got all caught up in that chicken fight thing. Anyhow, we tried a new breakfast place on Sunday and oh my God...

So we Chickens have been fans of breakfast for a long time. Well, to be honest I think I'm more the big fan and Paige just humors me, but whatever. When we first shacked up back in the day we'd go Graze at Mae's up on Phinney Ridge. Then in the mid-90s the lines at Mae's got to be annoyingly long so we started hitting Beth's down on Aurora. But eventually the novelty of a 12-egg omelette was outweighed by the lingering stench of stale cigarettes and we moved on again. By then we were living in Broadview, so we tried out the Rickshaw purely for the novelty of eating an American breakfast in a Chinese restaurant, but again the smoke chased us out. Then it was on to the Salmon Bay Cafe in Ballard, Cindy's Pancake House on Aurora, and finally Pete's Egg Nest on Greenwood.

We loved (and still love) Pete's because it's homey, they do a Greek omelette that Paige loves, and the bacon is wonderful (only place I've ever been asked how I'd like my bacon prepared). The drawback is that it's small, and on the weekends the wait can be as long or longer than Mae's.

Well, this weekend we flipped Egg Nests and headed to Patty's Eggnest down on Holman Road (it's next to the QFC in a space that used to be a Burgermaster). And, as I said before, oh my God. The wait was reasonable (probably 5 minutes max at 10:30 on Sunday), the service was relatively prompt, but the food was great. I went with the standard eggs up, toast, sausage and hash browns - hard to screw up, yet nicely tasty. While the browns were a bit soggy in the middle that wasn't a huge detractor. The toast was thick Texas-style wheat bread, the eggs were nicely runny, and the sausage looked hand made (meaning it wasn't just Jimmy Dean links or something). Logan went with his standard short stack of pancakes, which appeared to be very pancakey. Paige and Maya ordered the berry French Toast which was also Texas-style and smothered in berry sauce (a mix of blueberries and raspberries with maybe a few blackberries thrown in for good measure) and what Paige called "the best whipped cream ever." Basically dessert on a plate.

So, have we shifted egg nests for good? Well, Patty's definitely has it's advantages: better parking, more tables, shorter wait, and damn fine whipped cream. But Pete's has it's perks too...we like the atmosphere and the family-run feeling. And the bacon...can't discount the bacon. That said, Patty's is closer, and we've got a couple gift certificates for it, so in the short run I think they win.

Thoroughly drawing a blank today

Thoroughly. The most interesting thing to happen today, other than it being sunny, is that Paige bought Logan his first stick of deodorant. Because he's, um, almost 11. And apparently the kids today stink more than we did back in the '70s. Or else my mom didn't care as much...I don't think I started rocking the Speed Stick until I was 13.

Well, as a friend's kid says, if ya got's the B.O. you gotsa use the D.O.

Lazy Sunday

And I have nothing exciting to add to the blogosphere...Maya kind of learned to ride her bike today, on flat ground and with assistance on the start, but I don't have photo evidence. Instead, I have Peter Griffin fighting a giant chicken.



Thanks, Hulu!

Happy Anniversary, sistah!

Technically the actual anniversary was over a week ago, but tonight was the party. My sister has now officially been married for 20 years, and to celebrate her husband through a party with most of the wedding party (my other sister couldn't make the trip, and one of Dave's brothers also couldn't be there).

I vaguely dreaded the party because, well, I don't really remember much of the wedding. And not, I don't think, for a good reason like "I was wicked hammered the whole weekend" or anything. More like "I was a Junior in college and thinking about other stuff". I remember driving home for it, in my roommate's Fiero with my then-girlfriend Sarah. I remember the painful plastic shoes. I remember the reception being in the Faculty Club at the UW and one of the bride's maids telling me that if I did donuts in the Fiero it would throw a rod straight through the engine block.

But that's pretty much it. Don't remember the people, don't remember the guy playing trumpet, don't really remember anything at all.

But hey, my lack of memory is no reason to skip free drinks and food, right? Right!

More on the shootin' 'n' stuff

So Wednesday I said, and I quote:

I'd go on about the various conversations I overheard, the insane noise of the guys with the large handguns next to us, and so forth, but I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow.

So now that I'm less tired, here it is.

So Sam's is a gun shop and range in one of those pseudo office park things: two buildings sharing a parking lot set back from a busy road. Didn't see what was in building #2, but building #1 was all Sam's. In true mullet style, it was business in the front (the gun store), party in the back (shooting range). With a classroom of sorts upstairs, which really doesn't fit the whole mullet metaphor. Maybe the classroom is the trucker cap...

Anyhow, there was only one guy working last night (I didn't catch his name, but he wasn't Sam), and he was a bit harried when we showed up. He was also rather surprised that the boys weren't in uniform (which is standard for these "Blue Moon" outings), but he let us in anyway. Having never been to an indoor gun range I wasn't sure what to expect. It was, well, spartan. Not in the "sweaty hairless men wearing togas" way but rather in the "not a lot of stuff around" way. Kind of reminded me of the waiting room for a mufler shop or something. A couple snack machines, some tables, and a counter. Oh, and windows looking in on a bunch of guys shooting. Guess that's not in the usual mufler shop.

As we got there there were three guys who had just finished their practice and were doing the classic male post-adrenalie bull shooting. As I recall two of the three were in the military (not sure what branch, but I think it was either Army or Marines) and the third had either just signed up or was just about to head out to Basic. So the other two were giving him very helpful tips on what to say to various Drill Sargeants. Advice that I'm seriously hopng he doesn't take...he seemed smart enough to know that that would be a bad idea.

After collecting the "if my kid shoots himself in the head I won't sue you" waivers we went up to the trucker cap room to review range safety with the boys and eat some pizza (I hadn't had Pizza Hut's thin crust pie in, oh, 25 years, and was reminded why: it ain't too good). Once dinner was done and we'd reviewed everything the adults went down stairs to get briefed on the rifles (.22 caliber magazine-fed with a 10-round magazine, in case you're interested...no idea of the make), pick up safety glasses and ear protection, and to buy ammo and targets. Once that was all secured we brought down the boys, broke them into pairs and got to the shooting.

The range is made up of two rooms side-by-side (with a big-ass concrete wall between them, naturally), each with six bays (I think...the one we were in did, anyway). When we started we were alone in one room, running the boys through 4 at a time. I had the shortest rifle and so had the two shortest kids - Logan and his friend Matthew.

After each kid had shot a couple of targets three other guys came in. I don't know what they were shooting (it was a hand gun, but other than that I'm not sure of the details), but damn was it loud! Logan was in there when they started. He's not a fan of the loud, and was sticking his hands over his earphones. Which made it hard to aim, I must say. Or pull the trigger. Eventually he understood that he had to let go of his head to finish his magazine, at which point he left and didn't come back in until they were gone.

As for the conversation between the three, it appeared that one of them was shoing the other two a couple pistols and explaining their advantages. I will say that in addition to the insanely loud noise they did a great job of putting holes in paper. Much bigger holes than the .22 did. Apparently one of the guns he was shooting was a good home-defense weapon for the women folk (OK, he didn't say "womenfolk", but it was kind of implied) because of something to do with the safety and the fact that it wouldn't go off accidentally but if you needed to shoot it in a hurry you wouldn't have to fumble for anything. Not sure how that works, but apparently it works well. And loudly.

I'm guessing we'll go back again, 'cause it was a pretty darn cheap outing: 60 targets plus 400 bullets for something like $35 thanks to the Boy Scout discount.

Physics is cool...

And would no doubt be cooler if I understood the science behind this, but what the heck.

The joys of guns and ammo

So in his book Conservatize Me John "Monkey Disaster" Moe goes to a gun range to squeeze off some rounds from a handgun. Fortunately he calls ahead and learns that if he wants to rent a gun he needs to bring a friend along (presumably because the suicidal won't bring friends to the scene of their, well, suicide). John calls a friend and hauls him along.

If only he'd waited until his son Charlie was old enough to be a Boy Scout he could have skipped that step.

Tonight was "Blue Moon" night for Troop 123. The Troop meets on Wednesdays, and in months where there's a fifth Wednesday they do something special. Bowling, for instance. Or swimming. Or tonight, shooting. So we packed in to a few cars and headed north to Everett where at Sam's Gun Range they comp Boy Scouts the cost of the rifle rental and just sell you ammo and targets. For the eight boys and four adults to each fire off 20 to 40 rounds (the kids got more)? A meager $35 or so. Definitely a sweet deal.

I'd go on about the various conversations I overheard, the insane noise of the guys with the large handguns next to us, and so forth, but I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow.

How did I not know about this?

Thanks to Frogma for directing me to the wonder that is garfield minus garfield. Amazing how much better that comic is without the cat...

The hike report, now with pictures!

So I promised a recap of the epic struggle of man and boy against gravity and sand, and I aim to deliver. With photos, even!

The excitement started Saturday morning with a relatively peaceful 2 - 3 hour drive east on I-90. The pass was clear, the sun was out, the kids were quiet, all was well in the world. We met up with the other drivers (Scoutmaster Mark and friend Paul) at a rest area east of George, then caravaned off the freeway and in to the wilds of the Columbia Basin Reclamation Project.

After a few turns and a mile or two on a "primitive road" (which means "dust and washboard", in case you've never driven on one) we made it to the parking lot and loaded up. Here's the boy, loaded up. And yes, he did take off the coat about 5 minutes in to the hike.

Half way across the parking lot and what did we find? Dinner, that's what!

OK, it wasn't really dinner, but it was a sweet looking coyote leg...Anyhow, from there we were off down the trail. The dirty and dusty trail. And by dirt I mean sand, and by dust I mean Mt. St. Helens ash. Which, if my math is correct, erupted 27 years ago. You'd think they would have cleaned that ash up by now...

Well, eventually (I didn't bring the Garmin so I have no idea how far we hiked...I'm going to guess it was about 3 miles) we made it to the lake and set up camp. Logan behaved exactly as predicted: moaned and groaned while wearing the pack (although for the first mile or so that was understandable, since he was saddled with a 6 pound tent...eventually he twisted his ankle a bit and the bigger guys took pity on him and took the tent and his Thermarest and he perked up a bit), then had plenty of energy once it was off. Once the camp was set up the boys went off to play a fun little game called, I believe, "chuck the little guys off a dune". After taking a nap Paul and I wandered over to observe this game, only to scare them back to camp.

Well, almost all of them. Logan stayed around long enough to pose for a picture with the old man.



Once everyone was back in camp the boys did a (very short) orienteering course. Logan and his tent-mate did the course together, with tent-mate manning the compass while Logan wandered around looking for the waypoints:

Which was an interesting choice, since some of the sage brush was as tall as he was. Or taller.

Eventually night began to fall, dinner was eaten (or, in Mr. Finicky Logan's case not eaten...I swear to God he's the only kid I've met who prefers his Top Ramen without the flavor packet. But then, my Top Ramen sample is pretty small...) and it was time for dessert. One big advantage to backpacking now as an adult is that I get to go with guys who know what the hell they're doing, and can produce a chocolate cake using a camping stove and a plastic bag. It was a cake-mix cake with canned frosting, but hey, that's what I have for my birthday so I wasn't complaining. Neither was Jeff, whose birthday we were celebrating.



The boys made a fire (which didn't turn out in the photos), then went off in to the dark to play "German Spotlight." Why "German Spotlight" 60 years after WW II? Well, because apparently it's OK to make fun of Germans, where "Vietnamese Spotlight" or "Gitmo Spotlight" didn't have the same ring. Anyhow, the game involves a guy (the German) with a flashlight, and the other guys hide in the dark and try to sneak up on him. It's great training for when they're inducted into the special forces and have to take out guards in terrorist training camps. Or sneak back in to the house after hours. One of those.

The next morning, after a gourmet breakfast of French toast and sausages we encountered our second predator, this time much smaller. Don't know if scorpions like syrup, because this one didn't hang around long enough to ask and by the time we found the second one we'd cleaned up the dishes. Oh, and I don't speak scorpion (although I do know most of the lyrics to "Blackout")

Then it was time to pack up and hike back to the cars, drink some good ol' city water, eat some crackers and fruit leather, shake off some of the dust, and drive home. With the requisite fast food stop, naturally (at the Ellensburg Arbys where they were 0 for 3 on the order, screwing up all 3 sandwiches).

All in all a good trip, but I definitely appreciated my bed last night!

The hike recap will have to wait

Why? Well, it's late, I'm tired, and the bed is calling. Because it's oh so much more comfortable than a Thermarest on lumpy ground.

Hike report

Logan survived the hike, with the expected whining, and found a new friend: a ladybug!

Hiking? Really? Yes, apparently...

At least that's the plan. Not that a mile over rolling dunes can really count as hiking, I don't think...then again, I'm not ten and carrying my world on my back for the first time either. I'm expecting whining. I'm expecting groaning. And then we'll get to wherever it is we're camping (somewhere in Potholes State Park) and the whining and groaning will be forgotten in the fun and excitement of setting up tents and learning to use a compass. And then it will be dinner time and the whining and groaning will start again over whatever it is that's for dinner, but at least there will be a bit of a break...

Anyhoo, that's my weekend. Which means tomorrow will be the first test of the cell phone text / pix message posting method, something that will come in handy keeping the Blog 365 thing going during our big road trip this summer!

The guilt post

Totally forgot to post anything last night, so I threw up the LiveScience thing this afternoon to kind of make up for it. I know, lame, but what the hell.

So in other news, today was "take your kid to work" day and for the first time Logan tagged along. The company had a whole agenda planned for the kids, grouping them roughly by age (he was with a bunch of kids roughly 9 to 11) and having them play "The Game of Choices" which was, let's face it, basically the game of Life (the board game, not the computer cellular growth one) only without the board and with no plastic cars full of babies.

As in the board game, the object was to amass as much money as possible by making the right choices. Then at the end you had another choice: trade in your play money for raffle tickets, or fold it all in to origami bunnies. Logan chose the latter, and therefore did not win a shoulder bag or a gumball machine. But he does have a bunch of origami bunnies with currency values on them...

Thank you, LiveScience.com

For letting me know that a Mind-Reading Hat Could Prevent Brain Farts. Unfortunately the article has neither a photo of the hat nor a graphic showing it stopping the cloud of noxious brain vapors emitted...

The big question is, why couldn't I see this yesterday so I didn't miss a day of posting?

Brief book review

It's late and I'm tired, so I won't go in to much detail, but I must recommend two books by Mary Doria Russell: The Sparrow and Children of God.

The Sparrow, first in the series, is far more dark: it's a tale of first contact gone horribly awry, and the structure of the book is such that you know at the outset that things went south but you don't find out until late in the book why.

Children of God, the sequel, picks up the story where The Sparrow left off as a group of humans head back to Rakhat (the alien world) to find how deeply the screwups from book one have changed things. This one is more straight forward, with a single timeline, and while it has it's dark moments is also relatively uplifting.

Russell is an anthropologist, I think (or maybe an archaeologist...), and has really defined the alien society well. Very cool concept, and good execution.

Car Talk on Nova?

Hell yeah!

Nova's all about science, right? At least, that's what I think...haven't watched it in a while, what with all the other craptastic TV on. But I'm coming back to the Nova fold tomorrow 'cause Tom and Ray from Car Talk are on talking about the car of the future. Which sounds like a display at the 1939 World's Fair but isn't.

Derby photos

Here are some shots from last night's bouts. Hopefully by next month I'll have a better flash...forgot to pester Dave to bring his last night, so it was all shot with the on-board craptastic flash. But hey, I've got that bike money burning a hole in my pocket so maybe I'll drop some on a flash. That and gas...

Snow Derby?

The morning started off with snow. Same snow as last night, but brighter since it wasn't dark out. That was followed by a drive to Mom's, where I expected more snow than at our house since she's at 1,000 feet elevation and we're only at 400 or so. But the vagaries of weather in Seattle didn't think that was such a good idea, and she had far less, as you can see from these find photos:

But, unlike in North Seattle, it was snowing lightly when I got there. And it didn't stop, in fact getting harder and larger.

The original plan for the morning was for the kids and I to help with Mom's community lands work party, but with the snow and all the kids weren't overly enthusiastic. So we didn't get out of the house until 10:30 or so, wandered up the trail through the swamp, trimming a few branches here and there, then they decided they were cold and I went off to take pictures of neighbors working (several of whom I found, rugged adventurers of the Northwest that they are).

The evening plan was for Roller Derby. Tonight's bouts: DLF vs Sockit Wenches and Grave Danger vs the Dairyland Dolls, the travel team for the Mad Rollin' Dolls from Madison Wisconsin. Both bouts were blowouts, and in both cases the team I was rooting for (Wenches and GD) was on the receiving end of the ass-kicking. Ah well, it was fun anyway. And tomorrow I'll have photos up, hopefully...

What was that I was saying yesterday?

Oh, right. It's too cold. Damn straight...went to see my friend Rob in a play in North Bend tonight (pretty good show, some funny lines, some reasonably good acting, and the price was right) and drove home through a blizzard. Seriously. On April 18th. Not quite white-out, but definitely that "Millennium Falcon going in to hyperspace" effect with the headlights on. And since I couldn't bomb along at my usual 75 it took like an hour to get home, where we found noticeable amounts of snow on the grass and plants. Again, on April 18th.

Clearly La Nina doesn't want to leave quite yet...

It's just too cold to post

I haven't whined about the weather in a while, and I've got nothing better to write about, so what the heck.

Let's see...checking the calendar it's April 17th. Almost a month in to spring. And they're forecasting snow above 500 feet this weekend. Here's the proof, courtesy of KOMO's Weather page:



Saturday, the day with the snowflake, I'm planning on working at my mom's community work party, clearing overhanging brush and whatnot from their nature trail. The kids are excited to help. It should be fun.

Unless, of course, it's 37 and raining, or 36 and snowing, or some combination of the two. 'cause that's just too damn cold.

Now podcasting for all to hear

So as I note over on the right, I do a little radio thingy on Indy Radio / Radio KYA out in Grays Harbor (not to be confused with Grey's Anatomy). You can stream either if you like...Indy Radio is a lefty talk station that rolls my "culled from the bowels of the internets" weird news bits in to some semblance of a lunch show, while KYA automates the same bits in to a more "standard" music radio program, repeating every couple hours or so.

The other item I do for these fine Low-Power FM stations is a little 2 minute 30 second (ish) daily item called "Scott Chicken's TV Party", a recap / preview / whatever of the evening's prime time entertainment. This way while I rarely have time to watch prime time TV I can at least feel like I know what's going on in the world of entertainment. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

So anyway, I found out yesterday that TV Party is now available in podcast/mp3 format from some site called "radio4all". Not sure if you can set it up to automatically download to your iPod or Zune or whatever, but if you're curious here's the link!

Attention geniuses...

No matter how cool it looks on TV, it's just not a good idea to try to run across the freeway. Last week we had this guy, hit by a truck while crossing I-5 in Seattle, and today we've got this guy, hit by a car north of Centralia. Neither of them survived, so your chances are probably slim too.

Sold!

The last two bikes walked out the door tonight. Let the Atami go for $75 and the Sekai for $80. And now that I'm no longer doing the STP I'm not really in a hurry to buy a road bike, which means I can put that cash toward something more useful. I mentioned new computer yesterday, but maybe what I really need is a replacement for the busted xbox. Or I could just save it to spend on gas...how boring is that?

It's time to admit defeat

Well, maybe not exactly defeat. In fact, let's label it "re-evaluating mid-term goals in light of schedule constraints", with a follow-up of "shifting activities to reflect new goals". That sounds much better than "I'm a big woos" and also shows that I didn't spend all that money on the MBA for nothing.

In short, I've decided to bail on the STP this year for the following reasons:

1. I'm waaaaaay behind on the training. By this weekend I was supposed to be riding 50 miles each day for the second week in a row. I haven't managed 50 miles yet, and while I came close yesterday (45 or so) only put in 25 today.
2. I started the training with a low level of fitness. After the 2006 Seattle Half-Marathon I basically took a vacation from exercise for, oh, a year. I went to the gym on occasion, but not regularly. I gained a bunch of weight. I became a slug. Slugs don't ride bicycles.
3. There are too many conflicts in upcoming weekends to stick to any kind of training program. Next weekend my mom's community has it's spring work party, and I'd like the kids to experience that kind of communal effort. The weekend after that I'm going camping / hiking with Logan's Scout troop. The weekend after that we're going to Wenatchee. Then there are other camp-outs, overnights, and conflicts.
4. Training while we're on our big road trip home from Wisconsin in late June/early July will be a logistical nightmare:
   
1. Getting the bike there on the train will require boxing it up.
2. I'll have to figure out how to pack the bike rack.
3. I'll be riding instead of driving and sight-seeing with the family.
4. As Paige pointed out, if I crash or something in the middle of BF Wyoming, how will the people who stumble across me know who to call?
5. And where will they take me?
5. Did I mention I'm a big woos?

So...I'm no longer in the market for a new bike, I don't think, since I can commute on my Mountain Bike and riding it 40 miles on the Haul Ash ride won't kill me. And now I can take the money I would have put into the road bike and use it for something really useful, like a new computer!

Hoo...busy day

6:45 - get up, eat oatmeal, mix up NUUN electrolyte stuff someone gave me, get on bike gear, head out
7:50 - finally on the road. Hey, what's that scraping sound? It didn't do that before...
8:00 - stop, try to adjust front dérailleur so it won't rub, succeed to a moderate degree
8:05 - back on the road
8:50 - stop at Matthews Beach park to stretch, pee and eat some Clif bar
9:45 - stop at that park in Woodinville, you know the one, right next to the trail. Eat a banana, drink some of the NUUN stuff (which isn't great, I'm sorry to say, but that might be the "total berry" flavor. Maybe Orange would be OK...) and listen to people talk about the AARP
10:50 - pause at Matthews Beach again to rest my aching butt and pee. Again.
11:35 - call the wife from a light about 2 miles from home and ask her to start the cold bath
11:45 - get home, put away bike, add ice to the bath, strip and climb in. JESUS! I haven't done the ice bath since my marathon days back in 2006. Did it really hurt this much then? Probably not, 'cause then my feet were hot and sore where now it's my quads and butt. Damn. How much is an ice sitz bath?
11:50 - drain the tub and start the shower. Cool at first, then getting warmer...don't want to cause more pain than the ice water did!
12:00 - get out of shower, dry off, get dressed, slam some pizza and gatorade
12:40 - pile in the car and head off to Town Hall Seattle to see the Vagabond Opera. 1:10 - arrive at Town Hall, sit down, watch all the kids running around like monkeys
1:30 - show time! Paige and I liked it, the kids not so much. The hulahoop girl was a-freaking-mazing, but based on the web page I don't think she's a regular.
2:30 - show's over, pile in the car, head down to the Scout Shop
2:45 - arrive at the Scout Shop, look at backpacks, buy a Kelty Yukon 2900 for Logan (who will be going on his first official hiking camping trip in 2 weeks)
3:00 - head over to Mom's house to pick up the Atami bike I'm trying to sell. Dang, it's really warm out!
3:30 - get to Mom's, load the bike, move her recycling to the street, take a walk on the trail with the kids, sit and talk, and sweat
4:45 - decide we're hungry enough to have an early dinner, invite Mom to Red Robin in Factoria
5:15 - eat
6:00 - leave Factoria, stop at Smashed Foods to buy dessert and snacks for tomorrow's M's game
6:45 - get home, eat ice cream sandwich, boot up computer, begin this recap
8:30 - get dragged away from computer to see "that one commercial. You know, the funny one I was telling you about?" No, Logan, I don't. Oh, the "Old Spice Hair and Body Wash" one. Yes, it is indeed funny.
9:00 - read The Mouse and the Motorcycle to Maya, wonder if it will make her want a motorcycle when she grows up like it did to me
9:30 - come back downstairs and finish this post.

Whew!

Olympics controversy galore!

First, you've got the whole China / Tibet thing. I'm all for Free Tibet...Tibet's been over-priced for years, and I'm sick of paying for it. Tibet, like information, wants to be free and you'd think in this Internet age we'd have all the Tibet we want at our fingertips.

 

Then there's Marion Jones, who used antelope hormones back in 2000 to make her run faster. Or maybe they were dolphin hormones to help with her underwater breathing. I haven't really been keeping up on that one.

 

But this story takes the cake. As if the IOC didn't have enough problems what with the corruption and the expensive Tibet and the squat toilets in Beijing, now they have to figure out if a new swimsuit makes people too fast. Spedo has come up with a new suit that has magical properties that make you go faster. So much faster that you don't really have to swim in order to win, and can instead enjoy a sandwich and maybe a dolphin ride (just stay away from Marion Jones). I'm pretty sure this is a picture of the suit, although I'm not sure about the headphones. I think those are only for training.

 

 

This has other countries, whose teams are sponsored by other suit manufacturers, in a snit because the fairy dust in their suits only allows them to talk to sea turtles. And they don't come with an underwater electric boomarang. Or Oxygum.

 

Clearly there is only one answer to all this: They need to roll the Olympics back about 3,000 years or whatever and do the whole thing commando. And by "commando" I naturally mean "nude". There are several plusses:

 

First, Olympic athletes are all hardbodies (well, maybe not some of those curlers). Second, boobies. Third, flopping junk lends a comic element to the hurdles. Fourth, the beach volleyball people are practically naked already, so no big deal. But most importantly, no more swimsuit controversy.

 

Oh, actually most most importantly, much higher ratings and a chance for lucrative pay-per-view revenue.

 

Seriously, I don't know why the IOC hasn't thought of this already...

Live at the Showbox SoDo, it's Circulator!

They're on tour promoting their new album "You Can't Help It". Because you can't. It's just that good. Almost as good as the One Way Jesus sign in the window on their album cover. I'm totally going to see these guys if, you know, they ever become a band and go on tour, rather than just being a made-up album cover based on some blog meme...

My new hero

OK, maybe "hero" is too strong a word, but haven't we all wanted to yelle at someone talking too loudly on their cell phone? I know I have, and it's usually some punk-ass kid on the bus, yacking with his or her punk-ass friends about something that requires both volume and an endless stream of profanity. The profanity I can handle, although it is pretty repetitive, but the volume? No.

Anyhow, being a good Seattlite, I just turn up the volume on the Zune and stew about it. Ol' John Clifford, on the other hand, is from New York and prefers the direct approach. We could probably use more of that...

Tired and out of ideas

Got any? I'll take either:

• Sleep
• A road bike that fits
• Someone to buy my other bikes
• All of the above
  

Man, I'm like bike obsessed these days, aren't I? Had a fine commute home in the rain. Well, half in the rain...it stopped in Fremont, so I could dry out a bit before I got home. or, rather, the outside of the rain coat could dry out, while the inside got wet from the sweat thanks to the mile-long hill.

As for the sleep thing, I think I'll go get me some.

One down, three to go...

Sold one of the bikes tonight, so I'm a hundred bucks richer and have slightly more room in the basement. w00t! And someone is supposed to come tomorrow night to look at the Sekai, so by tomorrow night that might be two hundred bucks richer and a double-w00t!

In case you're still interested, here's what's still on the market:

1. Sekai Grantour 2500 10-speed, circa 1980-ish. It was my Dad's bike, a bit too big for him, really, and it's been sitting in Mom's garage since probably the mid to late '80s. As far as I can tell it's got a 62cm frame (down-tube), with a 34" stand-over height. It's a 10-speed with the classic "fingertip shifters" that were all the rage back in the day. Here's a picture:
   
   
2. Atami Grantour 10-speed, early '80s vintage. This was my bike before I went insane and got the Fuji, and even IT is a bit too big. Man, my legs must have shrunk. It's a 52cm frame with a 31.5" standover, fingertip shifters, fenders and a rear rack. There's currently no seat, but hey, seats are relatively cheap, I think...
   
   
3. And finally, the newest and smallest of the bikes is a Fuji Newest, maybe a 2005 model. It's all super-modern, 18 speeds (or maybe 21...I didn't count), those fancy-pants rapid-fire shifters on the brake levers, street-level camouflage (meaning it's gray...), etc. I bought this one off of Craigslist last month thinking it was the right size, but clearly my 18 years of mountain biking have warped my sense of size, 'cause it's way too short. The guy I bought it from billed it as a 49cm frame, but looking on the Fuji site (based purely on the frame color) I think it's really a 44. If only I could get it to breed with the Fuji Royale I might get a bike that's the right size...
   
   

Anyhow, if you're interested in any of these, let me know!

Sunday video

Here, since I'm sure you all wanted to see it, is video evidence of Miss Maya's newfound love of skiing. And my crappy camera work. Not to mention my abysmal lens cleaning abilities...

Last day of the season

Ski season, that is. And by "last day" I mean "last day as far as I know."

Skiing? On April 5th? Why yes, thank you. And it wasn't bad, either. The weather held out for the most part - a few icy flakes on occasion, but generally reasonable. And there were a few inches of new from last night's snow. It got a little slushy in the afternoon, but not as bad as it was the last time we went to Snoqualmie back in February. Which is good, 'cause I really don't need any more thumb injuries, thank you very much.

So, why after three great days of skiing at nice ski areas like Baker and Crystal did we head up to Snoqualmie again? Well, for one thing it's "free" since we've got passes. And for another it was the final make-up lesson for all those weekends lost to avalanche control. But it wasn't just a normal make-up lesson, no...it was also "Webbski Fun Weekend" or whatever. Which meant the kids got to wear numbers like they were in a race:



And race they did. At least once, anyway, in a double-slalom thing. Logan apparently won his race, thanks to his opponent falling down. But hey, a win is a win, right? Right!

And now that ski season is officially over, it's time to focus more on the bike. Like, oh, a lot more.

Cleaning out the phone...

Cell phone shot of the day, although I'm not sure what day it was...

---

Update: Just figured out when that was...well, roughly anyway: it was taken at Everett Memorial Stadium last summer during an Everett AquaSox game. So now you know.

Today's video

Not as good as the original, or the subsequent "I'm #$@&ing Ben Aflek" response, but what the hell...



And thanks to nephew Matt for pointing me to it!

It's baaaaack...

What's back, you ask? Why only the finest reality TV show of them all. No I'm not talking about that Survivor stuff or the Amazing Race or whatever, I'm talking about the only reality show on TV where the contestants are not just allowed, but required to beat the crap out of each other in order to win. That's right, it's time for a new season of The Ultimate Fighter on Spike. And to make it even better, rather than just bringing 16 guys to Vegas and breaking them in to teams of 8 this year they brought in 32 guys, paired them off, gave them 2 days to train and cut weight, and threw them in the ring with the winner of each fight staying on the show and the losers going home. This, as UFC President and reigning bald guy Dana White said, will "weed out the pussies" (or words to that effect...).

 

In last night's opener they showed 3 or 4 full fights and "highlights" of a couple more, ranging from a couple stand-up slug fests to a nice, boring wrestling match, with a couple of tap-outs, one knock-out, and a few decisions (like, oh, the boring wrestling match). The previews for next week's episode (the final 8 "qualifying" fights) looks good as well, with the overly dramatic announcer mentioning "the hardest knockout in Ultimate Fighter history" - complete with video of an abulance and audio of sobbing, moaning, and sirens. Woo hoo!

The end of the season

The next to the last day of the Chicken family ski season has come and gone. We spent Sunday and Monday at Baker, where Maya decided that she actually does like skiing and Paige remembered that, while it hurts, it is kind of fun. So today we got up early, left the house early, and drove the 8 bagillion miles (OK, so it only felt like that) to Crystal Mountain.

Paige and the kids hadn't been there before...I went for the Vertical Express for MS ski event back in February. It was a gorgeous day - sunny, cool but not cold, and there were very few people there...pretty much ideal conditions!

We started out on the Discovery chair, the Crystal bunny hill. Maya, as you can see from the photo, was excited.

Heck, even Paige and Logan seemed to be pretty psyched!

After a few runs on Discovery the kids were bored with it and even Paige was ready to move on to something a bit harder, so we headed over to the Chinoook Express six-pack chair, then moved on to the Forest Queen Express. This was the only mistake of the day...while the Queens run down from the top of the chair is rated a green circle, there's a pretty steep section of the hill, and Paige don't do the steep. She had to side-step down a chunk of it, but once she got to the bottom she did fine. The kids, meanwhile, rampaged their way down pretty much every hill in their way.

Once we got back down to the base we had lunch, then headed back up. While Paige stayed on the low runs from the top of Chinook Express, the kids and I headed back up to Forest Queen until they were worn out, then went back down to meet the wife. For our final run, Logan and I went up to the top - not all the way up to High Campbell, since we're not up for that double-diamond stuff, but up the Rainier Express to take in the view. And what a view it was! The mountain was out in full force, looking even more impressive than the crappy cell phone camera can communicate:

So, the up shot of three great ski days in one week?

1. Maya is now stoked on the skiing and ready for lessons next year
2. Paige is smitten with Crystal and is now stoked for next year's Vertical Express
3. My legs have been sore for pretty much a week.

In other words, everything's bitchin'!

Things I don't want to find on the beach

1. Oil-coated sea creatures
   
2. Dead, rotting sea lion (been there, done that, it stank)
3. Birds snared in 6-pack rings
   
4. Beached whale
5. Human head in a plastic bag

OK, the others would be bad, but the head in the bag thing would give me nightmares.