Morons of the week, New Zealand edition

Clearly these guys didn't watch enough Road Runner when they were young...

High-Tech Door Better than Star Trek

Dang, that's one cool looking door...although if you view the video (requires RealPlayer) you'll see that all the bugs aren't worked out of it quite yet.

NC-17alicious!

"'I just heard the deciding factor could be thrusting. Apparently, anything over three thrusts and you're in trouble. Well, nobody told me. . . .'"

Ah, those silly directors...

Headline of the day

Maybe the week...

Kerry attends funeral with blow-up sex dolls

Things you don't want to happen to you

Near the top of the list, getting operated on by a doctor using surgical instruments washed in hydraulic fluid.

Afghan Laser Buddhas

While that's a great band name, this is more of an art project. I doubt they'll be playing Dark Side of the Moon, though...

It must be summer...

'cause the naked people are coming out in droves. They're swimming, they're going to Subway, they're standing by the window, and some of them are advertising it.

Well, at least none of them are shooting or getting married in cemetaries, 'cause that would just be weird.

Mariners pitcher suspended for violating steroids policy

You know, I don't know if Ryan Franklin's violation was similar to Raffy Palmiero's (I believe he didn't know it was in his "energy drink" or whatever), but I can say this: it sure didn't help him much! I mean, the guy is 6 - 11! If you're going to juice, the least you could do is have a winning record!

Yow!

I'm glad I'm not this bird. The last couple seconds of the video are great.

(The link goes to a web page with the video embedded...there's also a "download" link, which is the only way I was able to get it to work)

Great sports headline...

Heh heh...heh heh...he said Wankdorf...

Long live the Wolf!

Not only are they important to their ecosystems, they also have cool howls and stuff...

Top quote in the article: "as a society we have advanced beyond wildlife management by just shooting things." Please note, this is only about WILDLIFE Management. And it's in Canada to boot...

Sad news...

'Star Trek' Star James Doohan Dies

One of the perils of being named "Scott" is the innumerable "Beam me up, Scotty" references. I can only immagine what it must have been like to be the actual Scotty.

He'll be missed!

Police send nude shopper home with warning

Clearly this woman should be shopping in Freemont during the Solstice Parade!

We're going to eat out of a WHAT?

"'The taste is good, but I still feel disgusted when I look at it,' said diner Lin Yu-may."

That about sums up this toilet-themed restaurant in Taiwan.

I suppose this gives them a good tag line if someone complains that the food tastes like crap..."what did you expect? You're eating out of a freaking toilet!"

Man Lights Himself on Fire to Propose

Further proof that people from Grant's Pass Oregon are out of their freaking minds. At least he had the sense to get extinguished before he grabbed his fiance's hand.

Mmm Mmm Good!

Nothing like a truckload of rotting watermelons to make your day!

Yeah, I'm sure that's why...

Unhappy love affair explains Rice stance on Iran

Somehow I think there's more to it than being jilted by a man back in college...

Now THAT'S a lot of baby!

Baby girl weighs in at nearly 14 pounds

That's just under the combined weights of the two Junior Chickens at birth. Ouch!

A novel way to avoid arrest...

Strippers scare off tree guards

I like the term "Tree Mafia". What, if you cross them you get the top of a Ficus in your bed?

It's about time...

That something I like is now good for me. Dark chocolate seen healthy for arteries.

True to JAMA's mission statement of "more medicine and bigger words" is this quote: "The dilatory effect of chocolate under resting conditions can be attributed to improved nitric oxide bioavailability, prostacyclin increase, direct effect of chocolate in smooth muscle cells, or activation of central mechanisms,"