Remind me not to go skiing in Japan...

Or if I do, not to take advantage of the "massage chair".

Oh to live a few miles to the north...

Can someone please tell me what Jim McDermott is smoking so I can avoid it at all costs? I mean, I'm as areligious as the next Gen-X Seattlite but really...voting "no" against a recognition of Christmas seems, well, offensive in it's apparent intent not to offend. Let's compare the three religious holiday-acknowledging resolutions (all pulled from the PI's article):

1. Ramadan: HR 635: "Acknowledges the onset of Ramadan, the Islamic holy month of fasting and spiritual renewal, and conveys its respect to Muslims in the United States and throughout the world on this occasion." (Approved 376-0)

2. Diwali: HR 747: "Acknowledges the onset of Diwali and expresses its deepest respect to Indian Americans and the Indian Diaspora throughout the world on this significant occasion." (Approved 358-0)

3. Christmas: HR 847: "Acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith." (Approved 372-9)

Maybe the problem is that HR 847 didn't acknowledge the onset of Christmas. Or that it didn't express its deepest respect to Christians throughout the world on this occasion. Or maybe it's the "religious and historical importance" piece that's included in Christmas but missing from the other two. Unfortunately, since I don't know the congressman I don't know why he decided to vote "no" on this one (which, according to a staff member in his Seattle office quoted in the article, I would if I did). But it gives me one more reason to wish I hadn't been re-districted out of Insley Country.

What the hell?

So I'm a fan of the site Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Generally funny pictures, amusing commentary, good clean American fun.

So Sunday's photo was this, and I have to ask: what's the deal with the belt buckle? I mean, how can you even sit with that thing in your lap? I'm deeply disturbed by the buckle...deeply.

Yet more useless science

Finally someone has calculated how long Santa stays in town on Christmas Eve. Because we needed to know that it was 34 microseconds per stop and that the sleigh has to fly 3,604 miles per second.

Clearly Anders Larsson, listed as being "of the engineering consultancy Sweco", needs to listen to a little more Cheech & Chong. Then he'd know that Santa has magic dust and takes the freeway. Makes much more sense that way, don't you think?

WTF, Amazon?

So I ordered a couple things from Amazon.com (if you must know, a pair of headphones for me and some noise-cancelling earbuds for Mrs. Chicken) and select the "free supersaver shipping". Now, usually that means it sits on the shelf for a while, then gets dropped in the US Mail and gets here whenever it can.

This time they ship it DHL. I get the notice that it's shipping on Friday (November 16th), and that I can expect delivery on...November 28th. I can only assume that DHL is either now using pack mules to transport stuff or their drivers are limited to 8 hours a day at about 25 mph.

My new personal heros

Well, maybe "hero" is too strong a word. But you have to admit it's a good piece of innovation to get inmates to pay you rent for the honor of staying in your jail, even if the law frowns on it. And it takes a certain something to be able to chug Tabasco sauce straight from the bottle. So maybe "hero" is the right word after all.

Finally, you too can look like Geordi La Forge

You'll have to do some case moding on your Vuzix iWear AV920, but that's a small price to pay.

Oh, and along the way you can experience a video image that's the equivalent of a 62" screen 9 feet away. You won't be able to see your beer, but that's also a small price to pay.

Ah, if only...

You've seen 24 in the past (whether you see it this season is up to the strike...). You know how dependent the show is on tech: cell phones, satellite photography, internet hacking, text messaging, all that stuff.

So what would the show have been like if they'd done it in, say, 1994? Fortunately for us, the College Humor guys have answered that question with this, 24: The unaired 1994 pilot

Note to self...

If I ever end up divorcing Mrs. Chicken, be sure not to kiss her afterward. Especially if she's had a bit to drink. Otherwise I'll end up like this guy. Well, except for the part where the police report "finding the man's lip on the bedroom floor, covered with cat hair." Dust bunnies, sure. But not cat hair.

Finally, a choir I can get behind

I'm not big on the vocal scene, I must admit. Never really enjoyed singing, although I've been told I have an OK voice (for someone who doesn't sing, I assume). Actually, let me amend that: I've never really enjoyed singing FOR people. In the car or shower is another story.

Anyhow, I've never been a big supporter of the choral arts, even when friends have been in choirs and invited me to come see them. But after seeing this article in today's PI about the "Complaints Choir" I think I may have found my outlet. As the founders of the Complaints Choir states:

"We say you should sing (complaints) out ... acknowledge things aren't as they should be. It's therapeutic."

It's kind of like the Festivus "airing of the grievances", only with more peole. And set to music.

Everyone in the Complaints Choir has to contribute a complaint, which could be the most difficult part. No, not finding something to complain about, but rather narrowing it down to the one complaint worth submitting...I think I'll go with "The new Comcast DVR software is worthless".

Moving up my Xmas wish list

It's the Dough-Nu-Matic from our good friends at SkyMall (courtesy of Sci-Fi's Tech blog). Because it's really too big a hassle to go the 10 blocks to Krispy Kreme when I want a donut...

Another product I didn't know I needed

Organic Batter Blaster ™ - Original Pancake and Waffle Batter

Not just any Organic Pancake and Waffle Batter...Organic Pancake and Waffle Batter in an aerosol can a la spray cheese. Which kind of goes against the whole "organic is better for the environment" thing, doesn't it?

At least he's still humble...

So they're making a new "Star Trek" prequel with the characters from the original series - Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Uhura, etc. Nimoy's in, but Shatner's out. But at least, according to this story from CNN, he's taking it well:

'I couldn't believe it. I'm not in the movie at all. Leonard, God bless his heart, is in, but not me,' Shatner, 76, told The Associated Press on Thursday. 'I thought, what a decision to make, since it obviously is a decision not to make use of the popularity I have to ensure the movie has good box office. It didn't seem to be a wise business decision.'

Something else to worry about

I don't live in "The City", so this might not be a problem, but still...Pythons in the toilet? I have a friend who is buying a house, so I've pointed this phenomenon out to her so she can make sure the inspector checks the pipes properly.

I'd better get on it...

Now that I've been linked to from the mighty John Moe's mighty Monkey Disaster blog I should get of my butt and start posting stuff again. Which will, almost undoubtedly, be a bunch of stupid news stories that I find and blather about on the air (Radio KYA Ocean Shores...apparently the "sweetest music ever made", but I wouldn't know since I almost never listen). But I'll start off my return to (hopefully) more active posting with something a bit more "real": A recommendation that you listen to my nephew Matt in his early attempts at being a DJ.

Matt, like his uncle, is a college DJ. Unlike his uncle, his weekly college radio show can be heard world-wide thanks to the wonder of the Internet (in MY day we had three listeners in a prison and we liked it!). The station is VIC Radio out of Ithaca College (probably the "IC" in VIC, not that I've asked), and you can find their stream here. Matt, being a freshman, gets a fine graveyard shift: midnight to 2 AM Tuesday mornings. Which works out great for his West Coast relatives, since he's on from 9 to 11 on Monday nights.

So tune in, give it a listen, and don't razz him too much about saying "um" every other word. After all, he's new at this and hasn't learned the secret of turning "um" in to "uh" or "so" or "ehhhhh....yeah...."

Find Your Candidate for the 2008 Election

Apparently, according to this site's candidate calculator, I'm a Bill Richardson man. Not knowing anything about him other than that he's from New Mexico, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. And I'm too lazy to do the research. Hopefully I'll remember that when Caucus / Primary time comes around so I don't go voting for Jackson Grimes of the United Fascist Union again...

Genius. Sheer genius.

This guy knows something I don't, 'cause I would never have thought to stick a rattlesnake in my mouth if I wanted to impress my ex-girlfriend. A whole double cheeseburger, sure, but never a rattler!

Man hides sex toys in the wurst way...

Apparently "Schwartenmagen" is German for "latex dildo with a natural look"

People with too much time on their hands, entry #327

The guy (or people) who built this City of toothpicks. Because it must have taken an inordinate amount of time to make this sucker:

"I really amazed my friends with my nudity knowledge growing up." - Jim McBride

Adding to the list of "web site ideas I should have had" is mrskin.com, a site that logs nude scenes in mainstream movies by actress (they only do female nude tracking because, in ol' Jim McBride's words, "this job is so fun I didn't want to make it work." Whatever you say, Jim!

Here's an article about him from our good friends at Yahoo News.