In the spirit of
Festivus I thought I’d take a moment to air a few of my grievances from 2005. And since the full list would take far too much space I thought I’d limit it to
First up, I am highly disappointed with the Seattle Monorail Board, who took a huge voter mandate last year – you remember 2004, when the Monorail Recall ballot measure was shot down by over 60% of the voters? – and turned it into a complete debacle. Thanks to your incompetence, Monorail Board, the dream of an elevated transit service for the citizens of Seattle will not be realized.
Next, continuing on the theme of the Monorail, I am deeply grieved by the Seattle City Council. While I expected Mayor Gridlock to pull his support of the Monorail – he’s been in bed with Light Rail since the beginning and clearly viewed the Monorail idea as a threat – I had hoped that the Council would show some cojones. But then, I forgot that this was an election year for several of our Council members, and standing up to the mayor in support of an idea that is unpopular yet clearly needed is not the political way. You are all weenies and should be voted out of office.
Next up are the Seattle Voters, for voting down the Monorail. Yes, the board screwed up. Yes, they were secretive and defensive. Yes, the mayor is a putz and pulled his support. Yes, the City Council are a bunch of weasels who caved to pressure from City Hall. But you, you are really to blame for the demise of the Monorail. You could have voted to save it, but you didn’t. Maybe you thought that by voting it down you’d get your car tab money back, but I’m sorry to say that’s not going to happen. Gridlock Greg will find a way to get his grubby hands on that tab money, probably to fund a replacement for the Viaduct or to give more money to the Sonics to rehab Key Arena 10 years after the last time we gave them money to rehab Key Arena, or possibly just to buy more donuts. In any case, don’t expect to see your license tabs drop any time soon.
And finally, turning to the national political situation, I’d like to slap the ultra-liberal left for ruining what was once a great political party. There was a time when the Democratic Party stood for something. Or rather, stood for something other than “Republicans Are Bad”. The Democratic Party is the party of Roosevelt and the New Deal. It’s the party of Kennedy and the idealism behind “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” But those days are far, far behind us and now the Democratic Party is the party of defeat. Howard Dean, party chairman, is on the news saying that it’s impossible to win in Iraq. John Kerry is on the news saying that Bush’s “stay the course” policy is the wrong one. My question to these gentlemen, and anyone else in the Democratic Party, is this: what’s your answer? I hear you complaining about the current situation, but I don’t hear anyone suggesting anything new. Pull out everyone now? Do you REALLY think that’s the best move, leaving Iraq in a complete power vacuum? Withdraw half the troops? What happened to the “Bush and Rumsfeld didn’t send enough troops to do the job” claims from last year and the year before?
I suppose the crux of my grievance against the Democratic Party is that it no longer stands for anything positive, just a huge vat of negatives. And negatives don’t inspire people to work to achieve something good, they don’t inspire people to solve problems, and the most certainly don’t win elections.
With that, I wish you a happy Festivus. I’m off to challenge the wife in the Feats of Strength. Please entertain yourselves by reading these other Festivus-related sites:
We would like to show you our appreciation for your patronage and support throughout the year and especially during this holiday season.
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