Wednesday, June 06, 2007

All your freak barrel are belong to us

I'll admit it...I sometimes surf Craigslist for no good reason. Just looking for a deal on something. And then I stumble across something like this and it just confuses the hell out of me. And I'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill confusion, this one is profound.

The confusion starts with the title: **Complete FREAK BARREL Kit**W/ Stainless Steel Back**OBO - $100

Not only do I not know what a FREAK BARREL is, I didn't realize they came in kits. Or that they could have stainless steel backs. I'm intrigued...does the barrel come complete with freaks? 'cause the Fremont Solstice Parade is a couple weeks away and I'm short on freaks right now. If there are enough of them the $100 might just be a deal!

Then I read a little farther and come to find that not only is this guy selling his freak barrel kit, but, and I quote, "The system is shocker threaded so all you ballers out there with shockers this is a hott addition to your marker."

The combination of "shocker threaded" and "ballers" throws me for a loop. I thought "ballers" meant street kids playing hoop. But I don't know how that relates to threading. Are we talking threads like "dude, check out them threads! That cat's lookin' hot!" or are we talking threads like "fucking QuickieLube over-tightened my oil plug and stripped the fucking threads"? And what makes this addition to my marker so hot it requires two ts?

Once it gets to the red parts front and the rainbow color inserts I'm completely off the reservation and have no idea what he's talking about. If you're really curious, google "freak barrel" and learn about the wonder that is the freak barrel kit.

If not, just join me in bemused confusion and crack another bottle of gin.

5 comments:

bonnie said...

is it safe to google at work?

(please note, it's well past 5 pm and I am still AT work. fun fun)

Kay said...

My favorite was a Russian woman who was willing to barter roofing services (this was during the aftermath of the big storm around the holidays) in exchange for "girlfriend services"

Oh, and I have no clue what that post that you found is all about...

Scott Chicken said...

Bonnie: It is indeed safe to google at work. Or at home, for that matter.

And Kay, you'll have to do your research yourself. Or ask Steevie, since I'm pretty sure he knows by now!

Kay said...

Oh, it is the BFG of paintball. No wonder I don't know what it is... because it has no bearing on my actual life.

Now if it were some kind of barrel brewing system... Now that, of course, would be more interesting.

I don't know how I would do my job if it were not for the joy of Googling.

bonnie said...

Who knew? Wow. And I thought kayak terminology got esoteric.

Another life enriched by chickenbloggery!