To the guy next to me at the Alanis Morisette show tonight:

Hey, man, I'm glad you're such a huge Alanis fan. She definitely rocks. Great voice. Good hooks in the songs.

And I'm really glad you've taken the time to listen to all her albums and memorize all the lyrics.

But seriously...your voice sucks donkey. You have no sense of pitch and couldn't carry a tune if I put it in your backpack and stapled it to your shoulders. You've got the volume thing down, though, and that taxi whistle is ear-splittingly impressive, so perhaps a career in professional sports fandom is in order.