And all this time I thought stretching was to KEEP you from getting hurt...

OK, I am officially middle-aged. I can no longer deny my middle-agedness. Why? Because my back went out.

Oh holy crap...

If I ever mocked you for your lower-back pain, I'm truly and deeply sorry.

Oh sweet Jesus make it stop...

So to set the stage, it's Tuesday. And Tuesday mornings I go running. Nothing huge, just 3 miles.

You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you!

Before I run, I stretch. The standard stuff...some hamstring hangs, calf stretches, a couple floor-based hamstring / buttock / inner thigh stretches. So I'm on the floor, doing that hammy stretch where your right foot is against your left thigh and you're reaching down to your left toe, and everything is going fine.

Goddamn I'm a woos...

And then it isn't. As far as I can tell, every single muscle in my lower back - and based on how it feels I'm guessing there are six million and seven of them - decided that it was time to contract. I believe in medical terms that's called a "spasm". In Scott Chicken terms it is called "Holy fuck that hurts!"

Hey, I think the massive dose of pain killers is finally starting to take effect...

So I ended up spending about 5 minutes on my hands and knees in the basement this morning, thinking "Gee, its 4:45 AM, no one's awake, and I can't move. This isn't good."

Oh yeah they are...

So I finally got to my feet without exploding, hobbled up stairs, ate a banana, and had some Oxycontin I had left over from last summer's gum surgery. And now I'm waiting for it to kick in, and the doctor's office to open so I can go get more and better drugs.

Hey look, birdies!

Then I'll spend the rest of the day trying to find a position to sit that doesn't hurt. Whee!

Please feel free to laugh and/or commiserate as you see fit!