Sure, you thought his political career was over after his resounding defeat back in 2004, but Jackson Kirk "Jack" Grimes is back in the running for President of these United States. And that's good, because the country needs the United Fascist Union to keep us on our toes and to remind us of who we are as a people.
And we need Jackson Kirk "Jack" Grimes to remind us that, as he so eloquently put it back in 1998 when speaking to the Flying Saucer Society in Dover, Delaware:
The fact that I'm speaking to you today proves that having our business cards in the Wilmington Public Library is not in vain and that some people must actually take the time to look stuff up on the Internet.
More importantly, back in '98 he had FEMA's number, as shown by their fine performance during Hurricane Katrina (from the same speech to the FLying Saucer people):
F.E.M.A. is the “Federal Emergency Management Agency.” They are the American equivalent to the Gestapo. F.E.M.A. wants the president to suspend the Constitution, declare Martial Law across the country and then round up and kill most Americans who will be used as food for Big Brother Grey once colonization begins. President Clinton says he wants F.E.M.A. to conduct emergency preparedness tests in 16 major cities this very summer. So, the Gestapo round-ups could start any day now.
But don't think that Jackson Kirk "Jack" Grimes is only interested in talking to space people. Or Earth people who believe in Space People. Or whoever the Flying Saucer Society is. No, he is also, in classic Fascist form, interested in trains and making sure they run, if not on time, at least to Elkton, Maryland.
And in case none of THAT is enough to get your vote, here are his Presidential Priorities for when he finally assumes office:
- Abolish paper money. Establish a "Transferable Work Point Card" as an electronic credit and debit system which would bring about a cashless/checkless society.
- Establish a "Universal Price Index' designed to first freeze and then greatly reduce the cost on all necessities of life like rent, groceries, car payments & etc.
- Create a league of nine or ten nations that would form a Confederacy of States to create a global government. The keystone of which will be Corporate Statism.
Who could want anything more than a "Transferable Work Point Card" and reduced rent? If that's not worth voting for I don't know what is.
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2 comments:
STOP making a joke of the United Fascist Union.
Would you be inclined to do so in person, where Sam McCoy's Storm Troopers would kick your ass?
As a politician Director Grimes tailors his speeches to his audience and the flying saucer people were paying him to be there.
Hail Grimes!
I was sitting at home alone the other day when my telephone rang, and some sort of automated voice-activated survey was asking residents of Cecil County whether they believed abortion should be legal in this country. Despite pressing the #9 button, as instructed for pro-choice, the robotic voice thanked me for being pro-life.
So, I am writing this letter, publicly stating, for the record, not only do I believe abortion should always be legal in the United States, but actually encouraged, as a great way to reduce the surplus population.
Religious fanatics and right-wing lunatics are pushing these backward-thinking programs because of that maggot, Bush, and his fundamentalist Jesus freaks. Can we allow the Christians, who have a worse reputation for bigotry than the Nazis, to dictate morality in a free country?
There's more than just women's rights at stake here, and it's high time free thinkers tell these anti-abortion idiots, the lunatics from the religious right and Jesus -boy Bush, to stick it.
Jackson Grimes
Presidential Candidate
United Fascist Union
Hi Heather:
How are yor & Director Grimes doing. Here's my thingy to help out a little.
Hail Grimes!
Jackson Grimes Presidential Priorities
"Abolish paper money. Establish a 'Transferable Work Point Card' as an electronic credit and debit system which would bring about a cashless/checkless society." "Establish a 'Universal Price Index' designed to first freeze and then greatly reduce the cost on all necessities of life like rent, groceries, car payments & etc." "Create a league of none or ten nations that would form a Confederacy of States to create a global government. The keystone of which will be Corporate Statism. Import Canadian-Style, Hate Laws, that would outlaw hate groups like the American Nazi Party & the Ku Klux Klan. Then grant "SPECIAL PROTECTIVE LEGAL STATUS" to Afro-Americans, homosexulals, Jews, women and, certain other minorities, that have been traditional targets of bigotry in the past.
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