Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Who's Heather?

Here's why I ask...Back on the 11th I posted this bit about Jackson Kirk "Jack" Grimes, candidate for President (of the US, none the less). Shortly thereafter (like in a few days) I got this in the comment section (a rare thing for the ol' Chicken Blog...unlike John, Tina and Bonnie I'm not well read):

Anonymous said...
STOP making a joke of the United Fascist Union.

Would you be inclined to do so in person, where Sam McCoy's Storm Troopers would kick your ass?

As a politician Director Grimes tailors his speeches to his audience and the flying saucer people were paying him to be there.

Hail Grimes!

I was sitting at home alone the other day when my telephone rang, and some sort of automated voice-activated survey was asking residents of Cecil County whether they believed abortion should be legal in this country. Despite pressing the #9 button, as instructed for pro-choice, the robotic voice thanked me for being pro-life.

So, I am writing this letter, publicly stating, for the record, not only do I believe abortion should always be legal in the United States, but actually encouraged, as a great way to reduce the surplus population.

Religious fanatics and right-wing lunatics are pushing these backward-thinking programs because of that maggot, Bush, and his fundamentalist Jesus freaks. Can we allow the Christians, who have a worse reputation for bigotry than the Nazis, to dictate morality in a free country?

There's more than just women's rights at stake here, and it's high time free thinkers tell these anti-abortion idiots, the lunatics from the religious right and Jesus -boy Bush, to stick it.

Jackson Grimes
Presidential Candidate
United Fascist Union

11:44 AM

I assumed that Jack's got some google bot out there checking for his name and he then pops up and comments. Cool, works for me, no biggie (and yes, Anonymous Possible Jack Grimes, I would make fun of the UFU in person, but only because I've lined Sam McCoy's pockets with Benjamins).

But then today I get this one:

Anonymous said...
Hi Heather:

How are yor & Director Grimes doing. Here's my thingy to help out a little.

Hail Grimes!

Jackson Grimes Presidential Priorities
"Abolish paper money. Establish a 'Transferable Work Point Card' as an electronic credit and debit system which would bring about a cashless/checkless society." "Establish a 'Universal Price Index' designed to first freeze and then greatly reduce the cost on all necessities of life like rent, groceries, car payments & etc." "Create a league of none or ten nations that would form a Confederacy of States to create a global government. The keystone of which will be Corporate Statism. Import Canadian-Style, Hate Laws, that would outlaw hate groups like the American Nazi Party & the Ku Klux Klan. Then grant "SPECIAL PROTECTIVE LEGAL STATUS" to Afro-Americans, homosexulals, Jews, women and, certain other minorities, that have been traditional targets of bigotry in the past.

12:43 PM

To which I must say..."Who's Heather?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

September 6th 2009

Dear Laura:

I am going to have to go somewhere by early 0ctober as winter is upon us by November and, I won’t waste the bus tickets we already bought. It will either be Cleveland or Zanesville, I’ll tell you that. I’m sick of Elkton and if I can’t go back to Canada then I’ll go somewhere I know rather than somewhere new. I don’t want to rent anything, after what I saw Heather’s co-worker Emmy Jo and her child put through this last month and a half with this termination of tenancy business. Cleveland would be better than Zanesville, unless you take Heather and Joanne’s place and drive me around as our research indicates Z-bus now has four routes. As Marta Jenkins drove me around when I lived there I never used the traction bus but, I know it ran little better than Elkton and Zanesville, 0h. has more than twice Elkton’s population.

Yes I am a complete tyrant to live with you should know that. But, you’ll be safe and you’d be happy with me too. I find that since I always know best in all things the people around me had better do what I say or they’ll bring trouble on me as well as themselves. I will not risk me safety and basic security because of the stupidity of others. Why should I conduct myself any different with personal relationships than I do with the officers of the U.F.U.? That’s why I am the way I am, I find that either you take charge and are in control of people and/or events or others are going to run your life for you. Power, fame and wealth are three important things in this reality that guarantee a happy life in this reality. If I move again and buy another property, it will be to control more people.

Kathy Greg seems she wants to relieve me of a THOUSAND DOLLARS, I doubt she’d find an apartment in Toronto if I sent her the money, so going back to Canada with these people is out of the question. The money I spent in Canada could have been better used to fund a move somewhere else in America if I’m never going to find a way to stay there. Pity U.F.U. Canada can’t attract a better crew. A leader is only as good as the people under his command, if I had better people I could have moved to Toronto or Halifax after I lost to that dick lick baby Bush in 2004, instead of wasting my life stinking away in this lousy piss soaked hell hole.

They have decent husbands and friends NOT the scum of the earth. If we could somehow keep the U.F.U. going once we buy a place in 0hio then run it as a business, you’ll meet people like that too. Scum calls to scum like dogs in heat chase after blood. A husband would have to be a DECENT person not a drunken doper like Brandon. There’s a defect in YOUR nature that draws you to this human shit. Remember when we were doing talk shows for the A.R.L.P. and businessmen on flights would offer to buy you drinks and you’d turn them down. I think you have low self esteem and until you can overcome this defect you’re always going to draw social misfits to yourself.

Your Loyal Servant

Mr. J. Grimes
Director & C.E.O.
of the United Fascist Union