A crime and vampire-filled Wednesday

This Wednesday is crime day on the Scott Chicken show. But then, pretty much every day is crime day, 'cause that's what piques my interest...

You know you're a nominee for parent of the year when you're arrested for stealing a vacuum cleaner with your kids along for the ride. Nice work, sir!

Continuing with crime, here's a guy who's watched a few too many movies. Then again, he did get away with the cash...

And speaking of people who watched too many movies, clearly these chicks watched Weekend at Bernie's a few too many times. Why else would they think putting sunglasses on their dead relative would get him on board a plane?

For those already caught and convicted, Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, has a great fitness plan for you. You want to watch TV? Get on the bike! This, by the way, is a plan I really should implement in the Chicken Coop...

So say you're going to start counterfeiting currency. What denomination do you start with? Most would say the $20. In Alaska, though, they think smaller. About $19 smaller.

And finally, if you're not into the counterfeit bills or the biking but you are into vampires, head over to the University of Hertfordshire in the UK for the "Open Graves, Open Minds: Vampires and the Undead in Modern Culture" conference. Because we need more vampire-themed stuff in this world.