Saturday Morning Chicken Clucking

Happy Saturday morning! It's my weekend on, and here's the crap I'll be covering:

Here's a tip for you stoners out there: if you're looking for a good place to stash your weed, don't try your kid's Elmo backpack. Oh, and if you're broke and figure you won't get in trouble for eating your gas station burrito in the store, you're wrong. You will.

You may be wondering why you should read your court documents. Here's a reason: you might avoid spending three extra years in an Indonesian prison! And speaking of prison, if you're going there to serve time for a DUI, try not to drive drunk when you go to check in.

I've heard of dogs chasing the mailman, but this is the first time I've heard of a postal carrier refusing to go to a person's house because of their dangerous cat.

And to end the morning on an animal note, another word of advice: if you're collecting worker's comp from the state, don't start a business selling goats. 'cause the state don't like that and will want their money back.