Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday's radio excellence

On today's very special Friday edition of the Scott Chicken Show (on Radio KYA and Super CFL, streaming at and respectively) I will relate the following fascinating bits of news (OK, maybe fascinating is going too far...):

You know, some times you need a place of peace and quiet to view your pr0n. But doing it in church seems a bit, well, wrong. Or maybe hot. If that's what you're in to.
Police allege the 55-year-old man broke into the First Christian Church on Thursday. After gathering items from around the building, he is believed to have gone to the basement to spend the night...Police Cmdr. Mike Brennan said the man used the electronic equipment to watch pornographic movies that were found on him when he was arrested.

I've heard about toad licking, but this is the first I've heard of snail sucking. Glad I'm not in THAT cult!
Devotees of a man claiming to practice a traditional African religion said they had to ingest the mucus of a Giant African Snail that sickened them...The man said he meant no harm, and his religion uses the snails in healing ceremonies. Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.

They say practice makes perfect. Apparently for this guy all the drunk driving practice has yet to make him perfect.
Kingsport Police have filed a 10th DUI charge against a driver who was going about 20 miles per hour on Interstate 26 and weaving. The Kingsport Times -News reported that the 57-year-old man told the officer on Tuesday, "I'm drunk. Do what you gotta do."

This is why I always go along on the test drive when I'm selling a car: Man copies key on test drive, steals truck
Police believe the man stopped during the test drive to have a copy made of the truck's key. He returned the truck to the lot, but police believe he stole it overnight using the duplicate key.

Now you vegans can have self-righteous and annoying garbage cans to go with your Prius and hemp clothing!
The animal rights group PETA is offering to help the cash-strapped city of Colorado Springs by paying to put trash cans back in parks - on one condition. The cans have to carry an anti-meat slogan and a picture of a woman in a lettuce bikini.
For the record, I'm all for the lettuce bikini picture...maybe I can scratch off the slogan. Oh, wait, I'm not in Colorado Springs. Never mind.

Here's #2 for the week (unless I missed someone other than Haim). Sigh.
Los Angeles, California (CNN) -- Hall of Fame football player and actor Merlin Olsen, a giant man who friends say had an even larger heart, died Thursday after a long battle with cancer, football and university officials said. He was 69.

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