Tuesday's audio blather

On today's Scott Chicken radio programme (as always on Radio KYA and Super CFL...to listen on line open these URLs in your favorite audio player thingy: KYA http://sandi.damnserver.com:9290, Super CFL http://sandi.damnserver.com:9200 - one note, the streams are having issues, so they may or may not work) we will be discussing the following (and by "discussing" I mean I'll read the story, you either giggle along or shut off your radio/internet connection in dusgust):

First note to self: if I'm going on a theft spree my first item should be a car so I don't have to use cabs as getaway vehicles.

...the woman was arrested Friday after police were called to a Fred Meyer store on a report of a woman walking out without paying for a TV and trying to leave in a cab. Court records said the woman was arrested late last year for going into a Sam's Club on two occasions and allegedly stealing $6,000 worth of televisions, then loading them into a taxi.

Second note to self: Remember that all the detective stories talk about people returning to the scene of the crime? There's a reason to avoid doing that.

A Winter Haven, Florida, man was arrested after authorities said he took a winning scratch-off ticket back to the store he had stolen it from a day earlier...When the man went back to the store on Monday to claim the money, a clerk who was aware of the theft asked the man for his driver's license and wrote down the information. The clerk called the authorities, and deputies went to arrest the man.

Third note to self: If I find out I'm going to be on one of the "Most Wanted" TV shows, don't brag about it at a party.

Sean Kelley, 22, was found at a Magnolia party Friday night. A member of the Pacific Northwest Fugitive Task Force handling the case told KCPQ/13 Kelley was bragging about being a celebrity and that he was going to be on TV.

I'm not sure which part of this story is more wrong. That there's a guy who has parked in the same spot at a McDonalds every morning for the last 16 years, or that someone wanted to fight him over it. It doesn't help that the guys are 52 (alleged assaulter) and 85 (guy with the favorite spot).

Danger! Danger! Cleaning products wired to explode!

A suspicious device that forced employees out of a Redmond Safeway store overnight turned out to be a bottle of cleaning product with wires taped to the outside...Officials said the bottle contained the cleaning product Scrubbing Bubbles.

Finally I can get to the local tavern for a quick beer and sammich between the front and back 9 without having to get in my car or, God forbid, walk. Why? Because the Washington Legislature just OK'd a bill to let golf carts on roads!

Drivers would have to be at least 16 years old and must follow the same road rules as those driving regular vehicles. Carts that are operated in golf cart zones must have reflectors, rearview mirrors, and seatbelts. A person with a revoked license would not be allowed to drive a golf cart on a public road in a golf cart zone.