But what about Grimes?

With all the chatter about Palin and Biden and whatnot the M$M seems to have completely lost sight of the big question this election season: Who will Grimes pick as his running mate? Maybe it's already been decided and just hasn't made it to the UFU web site. We can only hope they've got as nice a hat as Grimes.

Might I suggest that he one-up McCain by picking not only a woman, but one with a sweet hat and stilts?

Climb on!

Today Maya climbed the mighty REI pinnacle for the first time. Her review? Fun!

We actually lucked out on the whole climb thing...we started the day at SkiBonkers (well, technically we started the day with pancakes, but you get the idea) where we picked up some new boots for the boy and mittens/gloves for the girl and me respectively, then headed to REI to get new hiking boots for the boy (because the cheap ones we bought in March done broke), to look at day packs (decided not to buy one), and maybe get some camping gear for the girl. We rolled in to the store at around 2, went to the climbing desk, and the guy said "Well, we just had two spots open up at 2:30, so you're in luck 'cause earlier it was full until 5." We jumped on that, then headed up stairs for a late lunch at World Wraps.

After eating we headed back down to the pinnacle. Maya and a 4-year-old boy were the only kids there, the boy went first, and freaked out about 6 feet up. Which isn't too surprising, what with him being 4 and all, and with 6 feet up being pretty darn high when you're 4. Maya, on the other hand, didn't freak at all. In fact, she seemed pretty darn natural at it. She's got long arms and legs, which definitely help in the rock climbing arena. She didn't make it to the top, but she did get about half way up before deciding to come down. And now she and Logan are keen to go back!

Ah, Football...

Welcome back, old friend, I've missed you. Sure tonight's game was only pre-season, and sure only three or four of the normal starters played, but you were still an entertaining evening. And educational. For instance, tonight I learned that if you're passing your beer to the guy in the row ahead of you, and he drops it, and it splashes over the railing and on to a crazy woman below you, she'll go berzerk and report you to the stadium officials, who will come and check your ticket, then give you a yellow card. And remember, two yellow cards means you have to go watch a soccer game.

Final score: Seahawks 23, Raiders something less than that. Because while the game was fun and all, by the end of the 3rd quarter it was like 28 degrees out side (ok, probably in the 40s with the wind chill, but it felt like 28) and we wanted to warm up. And drink cheaper beer.

Political Obama speech post?

Nope. Although I kind of feel like I should get all pundit-y and post something about Obama's acceptance speech tonight, I just can't. Because not only am I not a pundit, but I'm really stuck on the whole "8 is enough" reference and keep wishing he'd thrown in other TV shows. As the great lonelysandwich tweeted, ""We need to stand up and say Eight is Enough! And One Day at a Time, we can ease these Growing Pains! Benson!"

I will say that in these tough times it appears that Obama and Beiden are the A-Team of politics (although that implies, at least physically, that Obama is BA Baraccus while Beiden is Hannibal, which is clearly not correct unless BA was secretly calling the shots while pitying the fool...and I'm not really sure who that makes Face or Murdock).

It is now clear that I'm neither a pundit nor a comedy writer. At least not at 11:07 at night...

Damn, why didn't I try that?

That being the angle this guy took in writing his bike ad...earlier this summer (OK, so it was last spring...) you may recall I was selling some bikes. And while I was moderately witty in my Craigslist postings, I didn't have a clean enough angle. Not like this guy. And as a result I didn't get to use the phrase "why not just punch yourself in the balls."

Maybe next time.

What we're watching

So I've heard there's some kind of political discourse going on on the tv. Heard it from the kids, actually. See, at 8 ABC was supposed to be showing Wipeout. Paige and I were watching the US Open on the DVR, so we sent the kids down to the basement to watch it. At which point they came back up and said "what channel is it on?" To which I replied "4 or 5..." to which THEY replied "there's just some lady talking on those channels."

Apparently Hillary was saying something. At a convention or something. Fortunately by the time Roger Federer was done whooping up on his unknown first round opponent she was done talking and it was time for the Big Balls. Because everyone loves the Big Balls.

What's wrong with this picture?

Here's the picture:



Here's the headline: Castro defends athlete who kicked judge in face.

Clearly what's wrong isn't the picture, but the headline. 'cause Castro's been dead since 2006, hasn't he?

One more Olympic impression

Closing ceremony impression, really: When did Jimmy Page turn into an old man? Admitedly, I don't check up on Jimmy every day like I should, but dang...between the white hair and the sweating I was starting to worry a bit. That said, he can still play the guitar far better than I could ever dream of playing it...

Oh, and a question: Where can I get one of those sweet light-up hats they were all wearing?

Coming soon to the German fetish site of your choice...

Is it just me or do you also think this will be the next phase in German fetish pr0n? You know, once they're done making those sheizer movies with Cartman's mom...Anyhow, a big thank you to G4's Attack of the Show for introducing us to the balloon torture chamber. And for introducing us to Olivia Munn, naturally...

New Olympic sports

So toward the end of yesterday's post I started thinking "hey, if BMX is an Olympic sport maybe they could go even more extreme..." So I started writing down ideas. Here are a few...please feel free to vote. Not sure the IOC will accept them, but maybe we can start some kind of Chicken X-Games offshoot.

1. Horseback shooting. The winter games have the Biathlon, a combination of skiing and shooting. So why not hoseback shooting? You could do both rifle and archery, kind of an "Indians vs Cavalry" thing. Or "Mongol Horde vs the Light Brigade". Only shooting at targets instead of at each other.
2. Freeform sword fighting. I love the speed of fencing and saber, but they're totally linear and not at all realistic. We've certainly got the wireless tech to allow the sensors to work in 3 dimensions, so let's get rid of the carpet and let them move sideways. Put it in a ring or a cage or something, with penalties for going outside of the box.
3. Heck, while we're at it let's add horseback sword fighting. The saber is a cavalry weapon, so give them horses and let them go at it. You'd have to pad the horse, naturally, but what the heck.
4. That brings jousting in to the picture, but that's getting too SCA for my taste. We don't want the Olympics turned in to a Renne Faire, now do we?
5. Mixed Martial Arts. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if this one happens in a few cycles. They've got boxing (boring!) and Tae Kwon Do (don't get it!) but they're both points based and totally padded. Not enough blood, I say. Throw in some straight-up MMA cage fighting. 'cause Forrest Griffin deserves a gold medal.
   

So that's my list...what you got?

Olympic impressions

So the Olympics are almost over, and while I've watched quite a bit of it I didn't quite equal the huge amount of viewing put in by my family. Mostly due to the fact that I have to go in to the office rather than working from home, but still. Here are my impressions, for what they're worth:

1. That Michael Phelps dude can swim. I know, it's the obvious thing to say, but damn. I don't remember Mark Spitz in '72...at least, I don't remember specifically watching him, although I'm sure I did 'cause my sisters were all about the Olympics. But I do remember the 7-medal photo, and I remember the mustache. Clearly Phelps must grow one, if only for a photo op.
   
2. That Usein Bolt dude can run. Again, it's obvious, but damn. I definitely remember watching Carl Lewis and Michael Johnson run, and Bolt is in another league. Sure, I prefer Tyson Gay's humility, but watching Bolt run is hypnotic.
3. While I'll agree that there was too damn much TV coverage of Beach Volleyball, the pure exuberance of Keri Walsh when she and Misty May-Trainer (Trainor? One of those) won the gold kind of made up for it. They've won pretty much everything in their sport, but it was clear that she was unbelievably psyched to win that medal. And that's cool.
4. While it's cool to watch, I'm not sure that BMX racing is really an Olympic sport. But then I agree with including Skier-X and Snowboard Cross in the winter games, so I guess I shouldn't complain.
5. I'm not at all sad that neither the Men's nor the Women's US 4X100 relay teams made the final. In fact, I find the whole thing amusing.

Runway nightmares

I must admit, I take a great deal of guilty pleasure from the mighty Project Runway, and tonight was an especially guilty treat with the whole "Good Queen Fun" drag queen theme. Especially guilty because, while I'm used to the dresses I think are God awful being lauded as the greatest thing since sliced bread, tonight they were so insanely over the top horrible that I'm amazed anyone made it out.

OK, that's being a bit harsh...I did like Terri's Kabuki / Kimono look, although I think the references to Gene Simmons were off...more like Adam Ant or David Bowie. I also liked Joe's winning design, the "Anne Margaret on The Love Boat" pink sailor suit thingy. But damn, when Korto was listed in the top 3 with that nutty flame thing...I mean, sure, it wasn't as bad as Keith's fringe nightmare, but still...

All of which proves yet again that a) I have no fashion sense, b) in spite of my degree in theater I don't completely understand costuming or drag queens, and c) maybe it's time to find a new show. How many weeks until Ultimate Fighter returns?

Yet another reason I should have become a scientist

Had I realized that determining what makes women "sexually attractive" was a valid area of scientific research I might have spent more time in the lab. But I always assumed that the fact that petite, leggy women with big busts are the most sexually attractive was a given, but apparently it needed some research.

Which raises the real question: was there a grant involved in this? And is there some way I can get such a grant to confirm the original research?

My Olympic dilemma

So I, like much of the world, am spending far too much time in front of the TV watching the Olympics. But unlike much of the world, I've got a TV dilemma. Our glorious Comcast cable system has, in addition to the 17 NBC channels covering the games from the US perspective, the Vancouver BC station CBUT. Which means I get an extra variety of sports to watch, so I don't have to spend my entire time listening to the NBC guys talk about all the US athletes' back stories. Instead I get to watch and listen to the CBUT guys talking about all the Canadian athletes' back stories.

But the real dilemma is this: NBC is covering some events that CBUT isn't, and focuses on athletes that I might actually care to root for. But NBC also airs US political ads, which infuriate me. So...what do I do? Watch Canada? Blame Canada? Move to Canada?

If only Comcast also carried the new Canadian pr0n channel. 'cause we all need more Canadian pr0n.

Last day in camp and the drive home

Tuesday rolled around sunny and warm, much like Monday had been. On the menu this morning: Eggs and sausage! We'd picked up some cast-iron griddles to use on the 2-burner stoves, so the eggs and sausages cooked much better than the previous day's pancakes. In fact, Logan took a turn flipping the ol' sausage patties around. Quite tasty, I must say.

Logan cooking sausage for breakfast

After breakfast and the adult leader meeting I packed up my pack and headed for the car. I was expecting a nice mile-ish walk through the heat and the dust, but was saved by the arrival of the camp's maintenance guy who gave me a ride in his truck. Exercise successfully avoided!

My next goal for the morning was to take some photos of the guys in action. Two of them were taking the "BSA Lifeguard" class down by the lake and I figured I'd get some good shots of them throwing a life ring or doing a water rescue or something. No such luck...that morning was apparently "sit on the dock fully clothed and talk about diabetes" day. Sigh. Couldn't find anyone doing anything exciting at the Camping Merit Badge class either, so I instead spent some time at the Trading Post catching up on the news via the mighty Oregonian before heading back to camp for lunch.

Lunch, like breakfast, involved some fine fry work. And flames. Yes, hamburgers were on the menu, and hamburgers plus gas grill equal fire, and everyone loves fire! And burgers. They were actually pretty tasty, I must say.

Mmmm...flame broiled...

After lunch it was time to hit the road. First stop: The post office in Dufur, OR to mail post cards the boys had written to their parents (ours arrived on Friday, I believe). Second stop: the mighty Maryhill Stonehenge War Memorial on the Washington side of the Columbia. The story behind this is that Sam Hill, a Quaker pacifist from the Maryhill Quaker community in southern Washington, was in England during WWI where he saw the real Stonehenge, and decided to duplicate it in concrete to memorialize 13 local soldiers who died in the war and to serve as a reminder that "humanity is still being sacrificed to the god of war" (Sam thought that Stonehenge was used for human sacrifice...) The memorial is both hokey and kind of cool, has held up well over the last 90-odd years, and this picture really doesn't do it justice.

Sam Hill's Maryhill Stonehenge
War Memorial

From there I pretty much drove straight home. Headed up highway 97 through the Yakima Nation, pausing only to get some gas and a Mud Pie blizzard in Goldendale, to get some Chicken Fries and some fresh fruit in Ellensburg, and to take this picture of Mt. Adams somewhere between Goldendale and Ellensburg:

Mt. Adams

Logan got home yesterday with the rest of the camp story: He had a great time, his Astronomy overnight trip was postponed a day or two and they couldn't wake him up for the 1:30 viewing, and more importantly he washed his arms and legs at the Subway on the way home. I'm sure the Subway people were thrilled. Well, at least he didn't ask to take a bath in their utility sink...

Finally, some camp photos!

OK, so here finally is the camp wrap-up. The camp-o-blog or whatever. With photos, no less!

So as I believe I mentioned at some point, we left for camp a week ago today, paused at Camp Shepard on the side of Mt. Rainier, cruised over Chinook Pass, and finally rolled in to Camp Baldwin at around 8:00 Saturday night. Scoutmaster Mark got us all checked in, and Senior Patrol Leader Ben walked the guys over to the camp site while we adults drove the gear over. While we waited for the guys to arive we worked out which patrols would go where, and more importantly where we adults would sleep. Highly key decision, there.

Once everything was unloaded from the cars and Ben had things under control as far as settling everyone in to their tents we took the cars back to the parking lot and Mark, Jeff and I walked back to camp. We took the "other" route back, not walking along the short-ish road we'd driven in. The problem was it was getting dark, and we weren't using flash lights. Which led to a couple moments of mild disorientation as we tried to figure out which blurry path to take, and a couple wet feet for Jeff as we ran into a couple puddles. But we did get to see the horses in the dark, which was kind of cool. And we did make it back to the camp site safely, which was also cool.

The next morning, after a nice breakfast of sugary cereals and some bread and jam, we got everyone in uniform and headed back up to the parking lot for the big "welcome to camp". We weren't really sure what to expect...my prior camp experiences had been with the Cub Scouts, where everyone kind of trickled in to camp throughout the morning. But at Camp Baldwin all the various troops were assmebled in the parking lot, just kind of milling around. Then a big panel truck drove up and stopped, and a couple people in Camp Baldwin shirts got out and started milling as well. And shortly after that the camp shirt people pulled open the back doors of the truck and the rest of the staff (or at least a bunch of 'em) burst out hollering and running. Kind of like a Scout Camp Clown Car.

But wait! There's more! As soon as the camp staff were arranged around the outside of the lot two more staff members rode in on horseback, one holding the US flag and the other the Camp Baldwin flag (or maybe the Oregon State flag...I forget). They proceeded to ride around the parking lot leading a "Gimme a B! Gimme an A!" chant. it was pretty darn cool, I must say, and my only disappointment was that I missed the guy with the Camp / Oregon flag falling off his horse...

"What's that spell? BALDWIN!!!"

Sunday afternoon was spent hanging around the camp site with the squirrels and chipmunks while the boys did their camp tour, health checks, and swim checks, then heading off for the "welcome to camp" adult leader meeting. Which is to say I got a lot of reading done, and didn't really take any pictures.

Monday morning brought the first meal the guys had to cook for themselves (cereal and sandwiches don't count, nor did Sunday's camp-wide dinner of "stroganoff", a fancy word for noodles and hamburger). Bacon and pancakes, which sounds fairly straightforward until you remember that the cooks age from 11 to 17, they're cooking on a propane stove, and they're using an aluminum frying pan. End result? Lots of burned bacon and undercooked yet burned pancakes. I opted for cereal instead (to be fair, the patrol I was eating with went with this option as well, so it's not like I was rejecting their food).

After breakfast the guys who were doing the Horsemanship merit badge (most of the troop) took off, leaving me, Mark and Jeff alone with the 5 or so boys who didn't have a 9:00 session. Logan's first class was Camping at 11, so he hung out with the other guys while we adults went off to the daily adult meeting. After the meeting I ran into him at the mighty "Trading Post", where I was dismayed to learn that Camp Baldwin is firmly owned by Pepsi. Logan, on the other hand, was overjoyed to learn they carried Nerds. Go figure.

After lunch (sandwiches and chips), Logan headed off to his Astronomy Merit Badge class while I went up to check e-mail and update the ol' blogeroo. Then it was back to the camp to help Logan and his friend Matt with some of their rank requirements in the "Eagle's Nest" for a while before heading back up the hill for dinner (ground turkey tacos, which were quite delicious I must say), some card games, and then off to the lake to watch the Persied (Persiad? One of those...) meteor shower. Which was great, 'caues it's so dang dark up in the hills.

And the evening ended kind of as expected: Logan was completely strung out after a day of activity, and had a minor freak-out over an "infestation of ants" in his tent. And by "infestation" we mean 5. Fortunately that problem was solved by a can of Off and me telling him and Matt to turn off their dang lights. 'cause if you can't see the ants you can pretend they're not there!

Another post-free day!

Jeez, you'd think I would have noticed that I'd forgotten to post anything yesterday before noon today, but clearly that didn't happen. It was the excitement of the evening that distracted me...yeah, that's the ticket! Logan's still at camp (due back in a couple hours), Paige went off to spend the night at a friend's house, so Maya and I had a dad/daughter date night. Went to Gordidos for dinner, got some Gelato, then hit the Blockbuster to rent the epic Sky High and the Bourne Ultimatum.

And let's face it, both of those are WAY more exciting than blogging. At least the way I do it...

A lame pre-camp photo post...

'cause hey, I promised pictures. And I like to keep my promises. But again it's too dang late to write anything of substance. That's what I get for watching all that Olympics coverage...

Anyhoo, here's a picture of Logan standing on the wall at the top of Chinook Pass. Not that you can tell where he is from the picture or anything...

I swear, tomorrow I'll post some shots from the actual camp. Honest!

Crapaloo!

Totally forgot to post anything yesterday. Like, totally. Thought of it, then forgot. Then didn't post this morning to make up for it, meaning that I suppose to maintain the numbers for the whole "blog 365" thing I need to do two right now, at 11:30. But I'm too tired for that since, while it's nice to sleep on a real bed now that I'm home, I still have to get up at 5:30 for work. And a nice bed for 6 hours is still just 6 hours!

Tomorrow I will, hopefully, get some camp shots up and recap the final day or so of the camp experience!

Monday's wifi-enabled update

Well, camp ain't so rugged that they don't have wifi, so that's something. Of course, the "wi" in the "wifi" means "wi not sit out at this picnic table outside the camp office, 'cause that's about as far as the signal goes..." Not that I'm complaining, mind you...it's trees blocking the signal, and they're lovely trees.

I'll throw some pictures up tomorrow when I get home, but suffice it to say the forest here between Dufur and Mt. Hood is lovely. Green, relatively dry, and teeming with birds and small ground critters. Spent yesterday afternoon watching the squirrels and chipmunks make light work of the various items of food people left out (gum, cookies, froot loops, etc.), and they are indeed fearless. Well, fearless couched with a good amount of caution if you actuall move. But otherwise, fearless.

Today is the first day the guys are working on merit badges and other advancement items, and I must say the shift from Cub Scout camp (hey, Dad, can you come with me to this class and help me out?) to Boy Scout camp (hey, son, go over there at 11 and learn from that guy...I'm going to send e-mails) is a wonderful thing. Hopefully Logan won't get too lost between classes. And if he does, well, I suppose that's just part of the learning process!

Sunday camp report

The squirrels and chipmunks in camp are both fearless and skittish. And, apparently, hungry.

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Camp!

So I'm now in Camp Baldin in Dufur, Oregon. Coverage is spotty!

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Opening Ceremonies thoughts

Not deep thoughts...I leave those to Mr. Handy. But a few observations from the big Chinese food / Bagel party:

1. I'm pretty certain the light show that created the rings was done by a huge number of trained cockroaches wearing LEDs on their backs.
2. If you're not actively watching, much of the ceremonies don't make a damn bit of sense.
3. The randomness thrown in to the parade of nations by the use of the Chinese alphabet is a wonderful thing.
4. The Chinese premier and whatshisname from North Korea clearly go to the same Lens Crafters.
5. Everyone likes hats. Everyone. But not everyone looks good in hats.
6. Yao Ming is a really, really big dude.
   

Back to camp

Not tomorrow, thankfully...no, I get two more nights in a real bed. But it'll come soon enough, what with the big Olympic Bagel Party action tomorrow night. Which will mean the boy and I will be well rested by the time Saturday morning rolls around and we have to head off to glorious Dufur, Oregon and the wonder that is Camp Baldwin. And by "wonder" I mean hot and dry. Well, hopefully hot and dry...actually, just hopefully dry. I can do without the hot.

Anyhow, the point is that I'll be back to text and pix posting for the weekend through Tuesday or so (I have to come home Tuesday...the boy gets a full week of camping fun, lucky punk!)

Things I wasn't aware of before this evening

1. A stupid floppy hat almost never looks good, and it certainly doesn't look "athletic" or "Olympian"
2. But apparently the floppy hat isn't enough to get you "aufed" when you include it in your "Olympics Opening Ceremony" outfit
3. And more importantly if that stupid floppy hat is worn by an entrepreneurial former MMA fighter you should keep your damn opinions to yourself, Chicken man!

It's hotting up

80-something today, supposed to hit near 90 tomorrow. So Paige and the kids decided to escape the heat by heading to...Wenatchee? Where it's going to be 101? Whatever.

So how am I celebrating my freedom this week? By coming home early and trying to not get sick. Not sure if it's a virus or just a bad night last night but I am tired today! Took a fitful nap from about 2 to 4 that seemed to help a bit, and I was able to eat some dinner (was hungry at lunch but didn't feel like eating, if that makes any sense), so I'm hopeful that I'll be up to going to work tomorrow. Mainly because my building is air conditioned while the house is not!

In other news, congrats to John Monkey Disaster Moe on his new position as host of Weekend America. Now I just have to remember to tune in...

The most beautiful suicide

I found this via another site...not sure if it's truly "the most beautiful suicide", or if suicide can be beautiful (although I suppose in this case the site owner is speaking of the woman...), but it is a striking photograph...

Go buy this book

I haven't read it, but that shouldn't stop you.

What book, you ask? Asleep in the Orchard Grass by my good friend Dan Spees.

Is it any good, you ask? How the hell should I know? Didn't I just say I haven't read it? If I had to guess I'd say "very likely," 'cause Dan is a smart guy, a professional English teacher, and has been writing poetry for ever and a day.

More importantly, it's only $10, so it's an affordable investment even if it turns out that you're crazy and hate poetry. Then you can donate it to a library and write the ten bucks off.

Dan's newly published status makes him my second friend to turn published author, which could indicate a trend. Who's next?

Airplanes and sunshine

And a whole bunch of people...

It's SeaFair weekend here in Seattle and that can mean only one thing: the Blue Angels are in town!

Ok, technically it also means there are hydroplane races, but I've kind of lost interest in that since I grew up. All those years where the Budweiser boat was winning everything pretty much killed my interest in the sport. That and the fact that I don't know anyone who ties up to the Log Boom so there's no on-site viewing...

But the Angels are something else. Unlike the boat races, they're over in an hour. And I do like those limited time commitment activities, I must say. So like last year we drove down to Rainier and I-90, parked, and biked up through the tunnel to the bridge deck where we oohed and ahhhed with the throng. Well, except for the kids...they mainly said "when can we go home?"

The weather was more interesting this year...last year it was blue skies all around. This year things started off cloudy, then cleared up. So as you can see from the photos below (and more in the gallery).

We got out to the bridge around 1, in time to see the A-10 Warthog give a demonstration and then fly around with this little prop plane. I heard some guy around us call it a spitfire, but I really don't know what it was. It was definitely cool to see the two flying side-by-side in formation, though...

After that there was a short break, and then the Blue Angels show started. I don't know what went wrong with the #6 plane, but they started the show with 5: the diamond 4 plus one solo pilot. Which kind of made some of the solo tricks less exciting, since the stunts weren't done flying directly at another plane...Here are some shots of the diamond:

I like this one 'cause it looks like a stop-motion series

Eventually the other solo showed up (plane #7) and they did a few tricks together. The only problem was that by that time there was so much smoke that you couldn't see too well from the bridge...

By the end of the show it was pretty clear, giving a nice backdrop to the final "pavilion"(or is it "tent"?) stunt. All in all another great show!

I gots nuttin'

So I'm going back to the well again and whipping out this beauty. Which isn't really beautiful at all, 'cause on account of I couldn't snag a larger photo. Stupid rules.

Oh, and since I don't think it reads well (although the printed wide-format album cover would read great), the band's name is Balkh University, and it's their seminal album Different: It Is Character. It was both moody and inspiring.