Tuesday, September 09, 2008

News of the day

Sweet little 8 pound baby Jesus this is a great news day! OK, so some of these probably broke yesterday, but I'm slow on the uptake. But any day with these two opening lines is not to be missed. First up, we have this freakish crime description:
Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

The sausage whacking is what does it for me. To quote Ebby Calvin "Nuke" Laloosh from Bull Durham, "That doesn't make me gay, does it?"

Then we have this guy, who blames his OCD for his inability to resist the siren call of the Big Mac. Sure, the OCD shows up in this line, but that's just tracking them. Not the eating...
Gorske has kept every burger receipt in a box. He says he was always fascinated with numbers, and watching McDonald's track its number of customers motivated him to track his own consumption.

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