Monday, November 17, 2008

Home!

The weekend o' Derby is finally over, and yet I still can't stop talking like Gotham announcer Corn Dog. Not that I can write what that sounds like, really...imagine a kind of Wolfman Jack growl thing going on, only without Wolfman's energy. Or what my voice sounds like after I've been yelling a lot. One of those.

Anyhow, I must say I do enjoy driving from Portland to Seattle under the right conditions. Today those conditions were sun, dry pavement, and fast-moving traffic. Left the in-laws in West Linn at about 10:15, stopped at a soon-to-be defunct Circuit City in Clackamas to pick up a tax-free Christmas gift, stopped for lunch just north of Centralia at about 12:15, and got home by 2. And other than the stops, I don't think I went under 65 between the Washington border and Renton.

But the best part of the drive was seeing this guy. The crappy cell phone picture doesn't do it justice (I should learn to travel with the Nikon handy for just such an emergency), but the Hummer is wicked jacked up (license plate was eye level). And the license plate reads "7-MPG". Hey, at least he's aware of the folly of driving the thing...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Congratulations, Gotham!

The mighty Gotham Girls Roller Derby All Stars completed the East Coast's total Derby domination today, beating the Windy City Rollers All Stars 134 to 66. Windy City gave it a good run, but damn...those Gotham Girls have it going ON! From some huge blocking (and the insane hip/booty checks of Beyonsláy) to high-speed and agile jamming to overall track smarts, they definitely have the complete package. And while Windy City made some good runs that looked to be shifting the momentum, it wasn't enough. Because eventually Beyonsláy or the equally good Surly Temple would come in and Windy City would be shut down.

Probably the best bout overall of the tournament was the "Grudge Match" between the Texas Texecutioners and Philly's Liberty Belles. The teams were evenly matched, each made some good runs, they each hit super hard, and things were tied with about 3 minutes to go. But in the last few jams the penalties overwhelmed Texas, letting Philly pull ahead to win 114 to 95, completing a 1-2-3 East Coast sweep. Ouch!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

My butt's sore

Why, you ask? Because I spent about 8 hours today sitting either on the floor or on a bleacher, padded by a seat cushion that isn't really a cushion. More of a coaster, really.

Today was day two of the mighty Northwest Knockdown national Roller Derby championship tournament thingy, and I am sad to say I am now 0 for 6. A big fat donut. Every team I've rooted for has lost. Yesterday I went with Carolina over Texas...Texas won. Then I cheered for Duke City over Gotham. Gotham won. Today I naturally rooted for the Rat City Rollergirls to beat Windy City from Chicago...Windy City won. Then I wanted B.ay A.rea to beat Philly. Philly won (although it was a fabulous bout and was almost a tie at the end...). So 0 for 4 in the preliminary rounds.

In the semi-finals, I chose Texas over Windy City. Windy City won. And I went with Philly over Gotham. So you know Gotham won.

I now have no idea who to root for. I'll take Texas in the grudge match (which, naturally, means Philly will win), but I can't decide in the championship bout. It would be nice if Windy City, the team that knocked Rat City out of it won it all, but that would mean that I really should root for Gotham. But I'm sure the Derby gods would know I was only rooting for them so that they'd lose, and then they'd win. Sigh...

Friday, November 14, 2008

A day of driving and derby

So this weekend is the mighty Northwest Knockdown national championship tournament for the WFTDA (Women's Flat-Track Derby Association), this year being held in Portland and co-hosted by the Rose City Rollers and my beloved Rat City Rollergirls. So, since it's only a couple hundred miles south and I can crash with the in-laws for free, down I went. Can't post any pictures yet, because a) I don't have my computer here and my brother-in-law's is slow, and b) I didn't sit track-side today so my any pictures I took are probably dim and crappy, but I do have a review: Day 1 was as expected: man-handling by the two top ranked teams.

The tournament is set up in a standard ranked single-elimination bracket: The top teams in the two divisions (East and West) play the bottom teams of the opposing divisions, then the middle teams play, then the winners play, etc. So the first bout tonight was the top team in the West (the mighty Texas Rollergirls Texacutioners) taking on the #4 team from the East (the Carolina Rollergirls All-Stars). And, while the score was 28-0 when we got there (we decided to eat dinner instead of being right on time), Carolina actually made a game of it and kept it relatively close in the first half. Then in the second half they seemed to fall apart, sending many many players to the penalty box and losing 125-61. Ouch, but nothing compared to bout 2, the Gotham Girls vs. the Duke City Derby Munecas Muertas out of Albuquerque. That was an all-out slaughter, with Gotham nearly breaking 100 in the first half while holding Duke City to 8. Final score, 182-25. Ouch!

Tomorrow things get local. Rat City takes on the Windy City Rollers all-star team at 1, with the winner playing Texas at 6. The second bout of the day pits the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls All Stars against the Liberty Belles from the Philly Roller Girls, the winner of which gets to face Gotham. Should be a long day, but a fun one!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The axe man cometh

And by "axe man" I in no way mean a guy who plays guitar. No, I mean the guy who says "Mr. Chicken, here's your axe. Please use it to sever all ties between you and your employer."

As you may know, I work for the bank formerly known as Washington Mutual. Back in September our chickens came home to roost in the form of an FDIC seizure and a hasty sale of banking operations to JP Morgan Chase. At the time, JPM said "we'll let everyone know by December 1st if they're staying or leaving." Well, today it was confirmed that I'm leaving.

I must say (and I'm sure I'll milk this for several more blogs over the coming weeks), this has been the strangest layoff of my life. Not like I get laid off all the time, mind you...this is only #3 in my 18-year career. But the other two were a surprise, while this one was expected.

I suppose that technically layoff #1 back in 2000 was expected...the company had gone through a big merger, we were the smallest and most remote marketing team in the now nation-wide organization, and our function was easy to outsource. We were a simple way to cut 15 FTE. The second layoff, back in 2004, was also probably predictable: we'd had a big management shake-up and ended up reporting to a team out of Chicago who, naturally, wanted the department moved there. But in both cases I was actually surprised when I walked in to the conference room and saw the boss and the HR rep there. This time? Not so much.

The first few weeks after the seizure were pretty busy: we had a quarter to close, information to gather for our new owners, breaks to take while the FDIC rifled through our desks, etc. But the last month or so have been insanely dead. The department head has been on calls and trips, the data people have been busy running data, but the rest of us have been twiddling our thumbs. And playing Fantastic Contraption. And surfing the net. And waiting for the axe to fall.

And today it fell. Well, it fell half way. I don't have the paperwork yet, so it's not officially official, but it's all but. My last day at the company formerly known as Washington Mutual will be January 29th, 2009.

And hopefully, after 18 years, my life as a banker will end too. 'cause man, I'm ready for a change!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Ah, the geniuses...

Apparently, no matter how drunk you are or how tough you think you are, if you weigh 155 pounds and you beg a trained professional fighter who runs 205+ to punch you in the mouth, you are going down. Hard.

This is good to know, because you never know when the opportunity may arise to find out for yourself. It's lessons like this that make reality TV worthwhile. Well, maybe that's too strong...entertaining?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Missed yesterday...

Why? 'cause I shut down and realized "hey, I didn't blog tonight." And by then it was too late. But here's what I would have posted yesterday, if I hadn't already shut down:

Worked from home today, which involved the same amount of work it would have if I'd gone in, but in more comfortable surroundings. I'd planned to take the morning off anyway, so I could go to the Veteran's Day assembly at the kids' school (I was told the daughter would be singing...turns out her class and the rest of the 1st and 2nd grades were singing, but still...). When we got home after that I called the boss to check in, she said there was basically nothing going on and no reason to come in, so I stayed home and played the "work via e-mail" game. Which lasted until about 12:45, when the wife and I blew off both our works and went to see Zack & Miri Make a Porno, which was brilliant. Or at least really funny. And filled with f-bombs. And a couple porn stars. And boobies.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

The professional photo

As I mentioned in my post on Friday, I got to tour the Seahawks practice facility. And as an added bonus, the team photographer took my picture posing with a football in a pseudo trading-card pose. And here it is:



It would have been much more realistic if Josh Wilson had stayed around and laid each of us out after the photo was taken, but apparently they didn't want the lawsuits. Sigh.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

My new addiction

So thanks to a co-worker, I'm now addicted to Fantastic Contraption. It's a simple game: build a contraption (a fantastic one, preferably) using wheels and rods, and have it drive an object (a circle, square or rectangle) into a target area. Sounds straight forward, and the first few levels are pretty easy, but then the shapes get wierder, the obstacles get greater, and you have to do far more planning. Or extensive trial and error. Or both. Anyhow, I keep getting stuck, then solving the problem, then getting stuck again. The only advantage is there are only three more levels and I think I'll be done, meaning I can get back to my other addictions. Like, oh, Facebook Wrestler.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Seahawks practice facility / HQ tour

So, as I mentioned in yesterday's riveting numbered recap, I got to tour the Seahawks practice facility yesterday. Why? Well, because I'm part of the "Fan Advisory Network" (known by the clever acronym "FAN"), which means I get to fill out surveys after each game, give feedback on how things are going (off the field...), and occasionally get a perk like a tour and a cookie.

Thanks to the rain, the trip there was a pain in the butt. Getting to the East Side in the middle of the afternoon was bad thanks to traffic, but getting from the Taco Time in the Renton Highlands down to the freeway and up to 12 Seahawks Way was bad thanks to dark and driving rain. Give me continual drizzle over torrential downpour any day, thank you very much.

Once I made it to the facility I checked in, got my Visitor sticker, and stood around the lobby with about 20 other people for 5 minutes or so before going in to the auditorium where, I assume, the team watches game film and holds meetings. I assume that because the seats were freaking huge. Nice and comfy, but definitely built for someone wider, taller, and with longer legs than me. So basically the opposite of going to a Parent-Teacher conference at my kids' school.

After a brief greeting from one of the sales guys and the team's COO (I think...) and cornerback Josh Wilson, we went out to look at the indoor practice field, take some pictures (both us taking pictures of the field - see below - and the team photographer taking pictures of us - see farther below). It's pretty dang big. My first though was "oh, they just took over an old Boeing hangar..." Then I realized that a) there weren't any Boeing hangars in that part of Renton, and b) it was clearly a custom build. It's about 150 yards long, 95 feet high, and whatever a football field is wide, plus about 15 yards on each side. Big.

From there we continued our tour, stopping in the weight room (with fancy roll-up walls that open up on to the outdoor practice fields), the observation deck over the indoor field, and the cube farm where all the non-big-shots work (sales, community outreach, etc.) And finally we split in to two groups and went in to conference rooms to give our feedback.

First up was a discussion of the "Fan Conduct Policy", this year's "Keep it PG" promotion. Now, I and the guys I share my tickets with have a bit of a problem with this policy. Not that we're loudmouth drunkards who like to get in fights, nor do we want loudmouth drunkards punching us in the sacks, but we do like the rough edge of an NFL crowd. If we want truly PG behavior, we'll go watch a Mariner's game. We go to the Seahawks expecting emotions to run high, f-bombs to be dropped, and the occasional drunk to fall down the stairs. The "Keep it PG" / "no knuckleheads" campaign seems more nanny-state than anything else. And there were others who shared that oppinion, voicing the belief that on the whole things were good but that certain areas and certain people needed to be dealt with in a more hands-on way. Should be interesting to see how that pans out.

The second session was a review of some feedback we'd provided earlier using a "Start / Stop / Continue" grid (things we'd like them to start doing, stop doing, and continue doing). My request that the team make Jones Soda start putting their pop on tap instead of in evil plastic bottles fell on deaf ears, unfortunately. And I didn't get to bring up the request for a wider sellection of good beer either. Sigh...

Finally, at around 9:30 we left, one last cookie and water for the road, picked up my photo (which I'll post later tonight after I scan it in), and drove home through the continued torrential downpour. And now, the crappy cell-phone photos!




A shot of the indoor practice field from the back of the end zone
On one sideline there's a backdrop that's clearly meant for press interviews. And here's one fan (whose name I didn't catch, but I think he's the guy with the "D-Fence" sign) giving his own press conference. Or narrating his tour. One of those.
A view of the weight room from above. The top balcony of the weight room is all cardio equipment, each with it's own LCD HDTV. The wall of windows behind the weight rack rolls up on nice days to reveal the outdoor practice fields
The final shot, looking down on the indoor field from the observation deck. Apparently this is where the sales guys go to watch practice when it's inside.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

A quick pre-bed post...

I'll throw down the details tomorrow, and the crappy cell-phone photos as well, but to recap today's events:
  1. Got up and went to work
  2. Surfed the 'net
  3. Found out a group that used to be part of my department got the axe
  4. Had lunch
  5. Left early
  6. Drove through the insane downpour to Renton
  7. Saw RocknRolla, which I highly recommend if only for the fine accents and glamorous junkies
  8. Drove through the insane downpour to Taco Time for dinner
  9. Drove through the insane downpour to 12 Seahawks Way to tour the Seahawks practice facility and participate in a couple fan focus groups. Very cool facility, and they were receptive to the feedback, which is always a good thing!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

A new level of wrong

Tonight's Ultimate Fighter brings new meaning to "eeeeeeuwwwwwwww...." Because "there's no rule that says you can't do anything to your own food." Now, if someone else were to eat that food, well, then, it would be their fault now, wouldn't it?

Yet again, I'm glad I'm not a fighter. Or, really, on any reality show. Jesus.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

One final push to get out the vote

I know, it's election day and you probably voted some time last month or whatever, but I figured I'd get in one last push for ol' Jackson Kirk Grimes. If you're in a state that's heavily leaning one way or another, where your vote for President really won't matter, toss a vote to Grimes. Do it for the hat. And to prove that those nerds at Wikipedia shouldn't have deleted his entry (I almost wrote "fascists", but if they were fascists they wouldn't have deleted it, now, would they?).


Monday, November 03, 2008

My record is now officially better than the Seahawks

Not that I'm not also wallowing in failure, but at least my Fantasy NFL team is now slightly better than the Seahawks, sporting a mighty 3-5 record. All thanks to my masterful managerial decisions, I'm sure. Not 'cause my opponent had Bret Farvre who scored like 1.2 points this week...

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Oy...

There are times I've been at a Seahawks game and found it so good, so exciting, that I hoped it wouldn't end. Today was not one of those days. This was a day I should have left about 5 minutes in to the game. The Seahawks kicked off, stopped the Eagles in 3 plays, then on the first offensive play of the game Seneca Wallace hit a wide open Koren Robinson, who then ran it 90 yards or so for the touchdown.

That, and the half-time wiener-dog races, were pretty much the highlights of the day. Sigh...

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Derby Brats!

And no, that's not referring to some weird Bratwurst / Roller Skate combo, it's referring to the mighty Seattle Derby Brats, who partook in the "Derby of the Dead" this evening over in Port Orchard. The Brats, and the other leagues involved, have girls from 11 to 18 skating in a relatively low-contact version of the standard Roller Derby. No monster checking, but some contact allowed.

I've seen the Seattle Derby Brats play as halftime entertainment at Rat City bouts, but hadn't watched them in action on their own terms before. So when Betty Ford Galaxy of my beloved Throttle Rockets e-mailed me to see if I was interested in taking pictures at the bouts I jumped at the chance. After all, she was going to comp me a ticket, and it was all-ages so we could force the kids to come. Oh, and as an added bonus a couple of Maya's friends from school and Girl Scouts would be skating with the "Tootsie Rollers", a Junior-Junior Derby group made up of 6 to 10-year-olds.

Also on the bill were the A-Town Derby Dollz out of Auburn, who were both short-handed and awesome, the home team Kitsap Derby Brats from Port Orchard, and the Portland Rosebuds.

Thanks to the ferry schedules we split after the second half of the Tootsie Roller bout, but I'm pretty sure I got shots of each team - and hopefully some relatively good ones.

But the best news of the evening was that Maya, as we were driving home, said "you know, maybe I do want to be a Tootsie Roller..."

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

The Chicken children are tucked in bed, completely crashed from too much sugar, laughter and running. Another Halloween successfully completed.

The kids dressed up as a cat and Kenny from South Park, as you can see from this photo:

The kitty with Kenny


Maya's was pretty darn easy - Paige found the dress at Value Village, we borrowed the ears from a friend, and boom, she was done. Logan's took a little more work: Value Village orange hoodie, Kenny face printed off the web, glue said face to a manila file folder, then attach to head with rubber bands. Oh, and put on mittens...those lasted about 15 minutes of trick-or-treating.

Part of the Chicken family Halloween tradition is to have a big gang of people over (most of whom went to pre-school with Logan), eat some dinner, then head out to maraud the neighborhood. This year we also picked up some friends of the friends, which was great...'cause really, once you've got 10 kids running down the street what's a few dozen more? Here's the full-on group shot:

Back row (L-R): 6' metal robot, a witch, a rock star, three girls in dresses, and the Terminator
Front row (L-R): Morticia Adams, Maya kitty, a sailor girl, a freaky glowing skeleton dude, Kenny, and "Mario & Luigi's cousin"


From there we went out and canvassed about 5 or 6 blocks in an hour or so, getting the kids good and thirsty by the time we got home. And leading to the current state of sugar crash!

Tuesday options

OK, so I didn't post yesterday, partly because I was stymied on what to do Election night to celebrate. Not to celebrate who won, but rather to celebrate the end of political advertising for another few months. My choices are:
  1. Drive to Green Lake, try to find parking, and wait in line at the Ben & Jerry's Scoop Shop to get our free scoops
  2. Walk (or drive if it's raining and we're feeling wimpy) to Krispy Kreme and stand in line for a free donut

Right now I'm leaning toward the donut. Because while I love the Ben & Jerry, if we walk I can almost justify the calories. And if we drive, there's more parking.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

What the hell is going on over there?

"Over There" being in England...thanks to my slack work schedule I'm getting more time to surf the web, and I've been spending a bit of time on the Daily Mail web site reading all kinds of trashy news about Brit pop stars, soccer players, royals and whatnot. But then on occasion I stumble across something like this, the story of a the 16-year-old girl who lives in a caravan (or, as we Yanks would call it, a motor home) whose daddy bought her a $200,000 wedding. That is so many levels of wrong I'm not sure where to start...so we'll start with the picture. Here's the happy bride and groom, framed by their happy parents:



What I like best about this happy family is not only did the daughter inherit her mother's, um, assets (as is apparent from the other picture), but the groom appears to have inherited his father-in-law's beard. And that's always good.

What really made me sit up and take notice of this story, though, was the fact that it's not the first story of English parents being complete fuckups. Last week brought this lovely tale of a woman who rewards / bribes her 13-year-old daughter by giving her cigarettes. The daughter doesn't seem to have connected how Mom looks to the smokes...Mom's 43, looks more like 55 or more in the photo:




So now I'm left to wonder...which is worse? Bribing your delinquent 13-year-old with smokes, or buying your 16-year-old wannabe model the wedding of her dreams?

I'm leaning toward "tie".

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A day of moderate leisure

So yesterday I decided I'd work from home today. There was nothing going on in the office, my boss was on vacation, her boss was on a business trip, and I hadn't really had an assignment in days. So I figured hey, I can check my e-mail from the couch just as easily as from my desk, and this way I won't be tempted to get coffee at Starbucks and won't have to get dressed. Oh, and I'll be able to sleep in an extra hour or two.

So I did just that, and as I should have expected, today was the day people were looking for me. Well, one person anyway. Fortunately between the phone and e-mail I was able to get him what he wanted (or a close facsimile thereof). So it wasn't the totally relaxing day I'd expected, but at the same time I didn't feel guilty about not burning a vacation day or something.

The big boss gets back tomorrow...wonder if he'll have any news over the fate of the rest of us chickens?

Monday, October 27, 2008

Punkin photos

As promised, here are some shots of the pumpkins:







The porch and all six pumpkins
Paige's pumpkin...I think he's kind of irked
Maya's large pumpkin
Maya's small pumpkin
Logan's pumpkin portrait of Kenny (from South Park)
My not-so artistic pumpkin, who kind of
looks both dismayed and surprised.
Which is probably how I'd look if
I were a carved pumpkin.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Well, maybe it's not hopeless after all

"It" being the Seahawks season. And "not hopeless" meaning "huge long-shot for a playoff spot".

Thanks to the soft hands and fast feet of fullback Leonard Weaver, the Hawks managed to beat the lowly 49ers today, moving in to a 3 way tie for 2nd place at a mighty 2 and 5. Luckily, we're only 2 games behind the slightly less lowly Cardinals, who lead the division at a whopping 4 and 3. So thanks to being in the worst division in the league there's a slim chance that we could possibly, maybe, end up winning the division.

Sure, it's not going to happen, but a guy's got to hope for something, right? Right.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

A pumpkiny good time

Today's theme was "pumpkins". Not exclusively, but certainly at both ends...woke up to the smell of pumpkin scones cooking, thanks to the wonderful Mrs. Chicken. Then this afternoon, after baking some snickerdoodle cookies (and over-cooking them too, I might add...clearly need to practice these ones) we went to a friend's house to carve our pumpkins, eat pasta, and generally have a good time. And a good time was had, although both kids ended up in tears at various points in the evening.

Didn't get any shots of the pumpkins, but will take some tomorrow. After all, I have to save SOME material for the next day's blog, now, don't I?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Whoah...

When I logged in to the ol' Blogger dashboard tonight I saw that the "why I didn't blog last night" post was #666. Nice. So in honor of post #667, here's a joke.

A nun hails a cab, and as the rather handsome cabby is driving her to her destination she notices that he keeps staring at her.

"Is there anything wrong, my son?" she asks him.

"No, sister" he replies.

"Then do you mind telling me why you keep staring at me?" she asks.

"I couldn't sister. It would be too shocking for you."

"Oh, my son, even though my life is dedicated to the Church, at my age I have heard it all and there is very little that can shock me."

"Well, sister, I know it's a sin, but I've always had a fantasy about kissing a nun. I know you'd never allow it, but you did ask..."

"My son," she says, "I would only kiss you if two things were true: that you were single, and that you were Catholic."

"I am, sister, I am!" he exclaims.

With that, the nun tells him to pull over. Once the cab is stopped, she leans over the front seat and plants a toe-curling kiss on him, a kiss that would make a hooker blush. She finishes the kiss and sits back, dabbing her lips with a handkerchief. The cabby sits stunned for a moment, then bursts into tears.

"Why are you crying, my son?" she asks him.

"I lied, sister...I'm not a single Catholic, I'm married and I'm Jewish. I'm going to hell, aren't I?"

"How the hell should I know?" she replies. "My name's Kevin and I'm on my way to a costume party!"

Why I didn't blog last night

Last night was spent putting beer in bottles. Which clearly left no time to blog. Clearly.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A timeless question

"What will happen when you take a tall skinny guy and put him in a cage with a shorter, stockier crazy guy?" Tonight, thanks to The Ultimate Fighter, we have the answer: the tall guy starts out using his reach and throwing jabs while the crazy guy eggs him on, then the tide turns a bit at the end of the first round and in to the second as crazy starts to take charge and tall skinny gets tired. And thanks to the tiredness, they go to a third round which really doesn't feel like it's in tall skinny's best interest.

As with all fights on Ultimate Fighter, there was trash talk running rampant before hand, largely about whether tall skinny really had a valid black belt in Jiu Jitsu. And really, most of the fight didn't show that he was a Jits guy - it was all stand-up boxing and kicking, and none of it done all that well. His take-downs were sloppy and easily stuffed, and when he ended up on his back Junie was smart enough to stay away from him and not let him get a submission. That and the fact that crazy Junie did really well with the repeated leg kicks are a large part of why he won the second round and the fight. In my non-professional opinion, that is.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Anyone know a good dentist?

Preferrably in Downtown Seattle? 'cause it turns out mine was hooked on pain killers. Which is too bad, 'cause I liked the guy and his staff, and it was wicked convenient. And as far as I know they did good work, although he himself hadn't worked on me in a year or so...maybe I'll luck out and someone else will take over the practice. But I'm not holding my breath.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Talk about your slow news day...

Today takes the cake. Rolled in to work at about 7:35. Next person in got there around 8:40, I think. I was sure I'd missed a memo or two, but apparently it was a case of "when the boss is on vacation, there's not much going on, and everyone is wondering when they'll get a layoff notice it's a good day to call in sick." Not that the people who weren't there weren't sick...for all I know they were. But still, the timing was suspect.

Tomorrow maybe I'll be the one rolling in late...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

"You suck like juice!"

That's the new insult in the Chicken house. I'm not sure where it came from...Paige knows, and I'm sure she's told me, but I have since forgotten. In any case, it's getting good mileage here and I'm hoping you'll pick it up too.

And speaking of sucking like juice, how 'bout them Seahawks? Good Gravy. There used to be a law in Seattle that if the Seahawks were good the Huskies sucked, and if the Huskies were good the Seahawks sucked. Apparently it's been amended to indicate that both teams can suck simultaneously.

And continuing to speak of sucking, how 'bout my fantasy NFL team? I am right on track for "manager of the year", I must say, what with my genius decision to bench Steven Jackson this weekend. Because really, the 37 points he would have scored me would have looked nice, but wouldn't have helped me win.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Finally!

Finally there's something worth watching on a Saturday night! What, you ask? Why Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling! What's that, you ask? Well, um, exactly what it sounds like. Only really it should be called Hulk Hogan's B- and C-List Celebrity Championship Wrestling.

Here's the celeb line-up:
  • NBA bad boy and ex Mr. Elektra Dennis Rodman
  • Danny Partridge / "Bringing Up Bonaduce" star Danny Bonaduce
  • Willis / recovered drug addict Todd Bridges
  • 9,000 pound boxer Butterbean
  • "Real World Vegas" drunk Trishelle Cannatella
  • Dustin Diamond, who says he's most famous for being Screech, but really is most famous for self-promoting his sex tape and being an ass hat on various other reality shows
  • Erin Murphy, best known as Tabitha on Bewitched
  • Frank "stop saying I look like my brother" Stallone
  • Nikki "stop calling me Ian" Ziering
  • Tiffany. That's right, Tiffany.

So, what can we look forward to? Well, hopefully Danny Bonaduce going in to a roid rage on Dustin Diamond, and maybe Tabitha doing that nose wiggle thing and turning someone in to a frog. That would be sweet.

Friday, October 17, 2008

A thoroughly uninspired Friday

Not sure if it's because it's late, or because I'm mildly hungry and know I shouldn't eat anything, or what, but I am completely uninspired right now. In fact, I was pretty uninspired all day. Something to do with not being busy at work and knowing that that's probably not a good sign for continued employment...hard to motivate yourself to find new stuff to do when everyone else around is doing nothing as well.

Well, not quite nothing...we had a nice pot luck lunch today, and someone on the team loaded some PDF versions of magazines to the server. And there was always the fun game of "Identify the confidential witness" in our latest class action lawsuit. but none of that changed the fact that I was basically killing time unitl it was time to go home. Maybe I need to watch "Office Space" again...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A Buzzword Bingo, without even leaving my desk!

So like most people in business, I'm on a several different mailing lists. I'm assuming I ended up on them by subscribing to something (Business Week, perhaps, or InfoWorld), going to a seminar, or just a random scanning of job titles. One of these lists is The Management Roundtable, which bills itself as being "The Leading Practitioners' Resource for Product & Technology Development." One of MRT's key products is seminars, generally touting Innovation, or Value, or the Stage-Gate product development process. I rarely read the flyers, since I'm no longer in a ProdDev position, but today's caught my eye.
 
First off, it's big. The starndard MRT flyer is a tabloid quad-fold kind of affair...11X17" piece of paper printed on both sides, folded in half, then in half again. So basically 4 letter-size pages of info on whatever new wonder of Management or Round Tables they're plugging. But today's arrived in all it's Tabloid glory: full color, six sheets of 22X17" paper filled with photos of all the fine "Distinguished Faculty" that will be at the seminar (or "Congress"), descriptions of the seminars they'll offer, information on lodging in Scottsdale, and of course the valuable Sponsors page. Have to pay for this somehow, right?
 
But what REALLY caught my eye was the buzz-worthy title and sub-title:
CoDev
Building Open Innovation
Capabilities for Higher Value
Business Opportunities
It's genius, really. It sounds impressive, yet I have no idea what it means. Fortunately, to the right of the title is a side-bar that's headlined "Featuring Our Open Innovation Thought Leaders". So now all I have to do is come up with the $1,900 registration fee, get myself to Scottsdale in January, and let my Thoughts be Led!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

There was a debate?

Apparently I missed something. Some guys talking or something. Maybe answering some questions, or avoiding questions, or using air quotes, something. I was far too busy watching the Phillies slap down the Dodgers, watching Leanne slap down Kenley and Korto, and watch the Ultimate Fighters act like children. You know, important stuff.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Living vicariously through other cities' sports teams

So Mr. Moe moved to St. Paul, and has posted repeatedly on his blog (or tweeted, or maybe it was on Facebook...somewhere, anyhow) about how the Minnesota sports teams are his Cindy McCain - the pretty second wife. Which leaves me back here in Seattle with Carol, the first wife. The one who was disfigured in a car crash while I was in the Hanoi Hilton. More importantly, the one who can't win a damn ball game to save its life. Unless, of course, it's either a) the last series of the season - the series that if you tank you get the #1 draft pick, but if you win you don't - or 2) the Rams.

So now, being stuck with these craptastic teams, I find myself turning to the sporting equivalent of Internet porn and rooting for other cities' teams. And not even sexy teams like, oh, the Cowboys or the Red Sox. No, I'm wallowing in my shame by cheering for the Rays (because everyone likes a Cinderella story. Well, except for the wicked step sisters) and the Cleveland Browns. OK, the Browns cheering is purely for selfish Fantasy Football reasons, but still...

Fortunately I won't have my loyalties tested, since the Seahawks don't play the Browns, and the Mariners won't play the Rays until next year. And on a more positive note, the Seahawks play the Rams again this season, so there's a chance they'll win another game before August!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Tourism Seattle thanks you

Or, rather, thanks me. No, wait, they thank Bonnie and her boyfriend, 'cause they paid. Yeah, that's the ticket.

After a massive breakfast at the delicious (and busy) Patty's Egg Nest we headed to the Park & Ride and caught the bus down to Pioneer Square. Got there around 11 something, bought tickets for the 1:00 underground tour, then killed the intervening hour and a half or so by wandering up the waterfront and through the market. Took the required shot of them with the Pike Place Market sign, watched the guys who throw fish (but since no one was ordering any fish we didn't get to see them throwing any fish), then walked down first to the tour.

The tour was interesting, and full of Seattle history that I didn't really know. I mean, I knew the names Denny, Yestler and Maynard, and I'd heard of the fire, but I don't think I'd ever had a Seattle history class. And it was kind of cool to wander through the old sidewalks / current basements. But the guide wasn't all he could have been. He knew his stuff, certainly. He had all the factoids and whatnot clearly committed to memory. But his delivery was lacking. As one of the other tourists said to his wife/girlfriend, "just because you say a line like it's a laugh line doesn't mean it's actually funny."

After that we headed to the Aquarium, which I hadn't visited since they did the big remodel. The new entrance is really sweet, the "window on the Sound" exhibit is stunning (and if I had a gabillion dollars I'd build one in my house), and best of all we got to see the octopus move through her tube from tank A to tank B. Dang, that's one big fish.

After all that walking we were whooped (well, I was anyway...can't speak for the others, who are in far better shape than I am), so it was back to the bus tunnel, hop the 41 (and stand up some more), then home to a delicious chili dinner and the even more delicious ass whooping the Browns laid on the Giants.

All in all a fine way to spend Columbus Day!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Welcome, Frogma!

So the purpose of all the house cleaning this weekend was the arrival of our friend Bonnie, aka Frogma, in town from New York for a week of kayaking, camping, and general touristing. The kayaking involved two days playing in the eddies and current of Deception Pass, which sounded a lot like witewater kayaking only on the ocean. Trippy.

Tomorrow we're heading downtown to do the Seattle tourist thing, probably starting with the Underground Tour and ending with either the Market or the new Sculpture Park. At some point in the week they'll take off for the Olympic Peninsula and do some camping, then come back for another day or two of chillaxing before flying back to the east coast next weekend.

Unfortunately I'll be working all week (wait...in current circumstances that's actually good news...) and won't be able to join in the camping fun. But then, it's their vacation not mine, and they wouldn't want me tagging along now, would they? I know I wouldn't!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Yeah, so about that hike...

So as ol' Mr. Spees noted in his comment, the hike didn't get hiked. Or, rather, it did get hiked but not by us Chickens.

The short story is that neither Logan nor I (nor Paige, for that matter) slept well last night, and he being a boy of 11 it translated to weeping when it was time to get up. Now, in his defense he was also worried about the food (have I mentioned he's picky? 'cause he is...) and the cold. So anyway, we bailed on the hike. Which isn't really something I like to do, since we'd told people we were going to go, and it's not like we were gravely ill or something, just tired and cranky.

Anyhow, the agreement was no computer (for him, anyway) and no xbox (again, for him, although I didn't touch it either) for the weekend. So instead he built lego versions of various characters from Halo. And helped Paige plant 80 crocus bulbs in the lawn...which should make late February pretty dang cool, I must say!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Weekend preview

Might not get a post in tomorrow, 'cause the boy and I are off to the mountains! The Troop is heading out to hike to Rachel Lake, just up from Lake Kachess. From what I've read it's a beautiful hike, but it should be brutal at the same time.

Why? Well...first off, topographically it's a nightmare. 4 mile hike, roughly, with 3 of those relatively flat and the last mile climbing over 1,200 feet. Secondly, while it's going to be dry, it's also going to be cold. Forecast calls for highs in the mid 40s, lows hovering around freezing. And I'm assuming it's a no fires zone.

On the plus side, it gets dark early so the odds are good that I'll be able to warm up in my bag early in the evening. Also on the plus side, I'll finally break in my new tent! Bought it last spring planning to use it this summer, then didn't. Which is good, 'cause I would have been pissed if it had busted in the big storm...

Anyhow, I'll probably haul my phone up the mountain 'cause it doesn't weigh much, and if there's coverage I'll try to load a text / pix message tomorrow. Otherwise you'll have to wait for Sunday for the big recap!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

They report, you decide

Say what you will about the right-leaning reporting of Fox News, their web site is teh bomb for crazy-ass news stories. Today's examples:

British tourist on vacation in India is beaten to death by waiters for being arrogant

Local people in an area of Thailand are afraid that their river is home to giant killer catfish with a taste for human flesh

Australian tourist in Whistler, BC, gets bit by a bear. He reports it. The Canadian wildlife people shoot the bear. Now he's upset because "Canada Hates Me. (OK, technically that one's from news.com.au, but it was linked from Fox News. And it's all owned by Rupert anyway, so no big diffy.)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

If you're wondering why you shouldn't drink to excess...

Tonight's Ultimate Fighter provides a great example. 'cause damn, some of those boys seriously can't hold their liquor. Then again, a few are pretty unstable sober as well, so the further instability when drunk is probably to be expected...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Hey, Diane!

I'm doubtful you'll come back, now that I've offended you so deeply, but on the off chance you do, I've thought a lot about what you said, and have come to the conclusion that while I'm sorry you took offense I really don't care.

Why? Well, because it seems kind of silly to take offense at a "review" posted on a personal blog by a guy who's clearly just writing for his own entertainment. I can see getting offended if I'd gone on the Slog and bitched about how crappy the play was, but I didn't. I merely wrote my impressions of it here, on a site visited by maybe six people a week (if I'm lucky).

That said, the interweb is all searchable and whatnot thanks to the Google, so I shouldn't expect something as incendiary as a line like "It's not ground-breaking" or, God help us, a reference to someone going up on lines at a preview to go unnoticed. I'll keep that in mind the next time I review a play in preview, which I predict will be, oh, many moons from now.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Too tired to blog

Why tired, you ask? Well, because a) I got the usual amount of sleep last night, which is to say not enough, b) I walked a couple miles during lunch today, and c) I got my ass handed to me by Logan. More specifically, he kicked my butt at Halo. Well, I suppose that technically it was an even match, since I smoked him about as often as he got me, but the last few were galling since he just hung out by the entrance to the fort wherein I re-spawned and shot me down ever time I tried to come out. Ruthless little punk...

Sunday, October 05, 2008

How's about a review?

So it's not really fair to review a show in preview, but since a) I'm not a paid reviewer, and b) I'm not going to see the thing during the regular run, I'm going to go ahead with it anyway.

Took the fam to see the Three Musketeers at the Rep today, and it was pretty good. Not great, but pretty good. Let's dissect it, shall we?

Script: The script was an odd mix of classical-ish prose and modern prose. At one point early on the titular Three are raiding the Cardinal's castle and Aramis (or maybe Athos...I get those two confused) says "Oh, crap." Gets a laugh, but I must say I don't recall that from the book.

Acting: The acting in the show was...ok. Not spellbinding, not perfect, but OK. And some of that may have come from the direction and script - they make a lot of asides and obvious laugh lines, so the acting issues might have had more to do with the way the play was staged than anything else. But I don't think anyone's taking home a Tony for their performance.

Set: The Rep usually has great sets, and these were no different. Great use of moving pieces to transform the space in to the various different scenes. The only distraction was a few flown-in hangings that got stuck on other pieces on their way down. Given that this is a preview, I'm sure they'll have that ironed out by the time it opens on Friday.

Drama-nerd fun: There were only two blatantly obvious flaws in the show today. First, in a scene between the King and the Cardinal, someone went up on lines. Not sure which one it was, but they repeated an exchange, then kind of struggled to figure out how to get back on track, then finally recovered. And later, when Constance is in hiding in the convent and Milady comes to visit, someone missed an entrance 'cause I can't believe they'd leave a Nun on stage praying for a full 45 seconds...

Fighting: the fight scenes were pretty good. I think the final fight is the best, although the big group fight between the Musketeers and the Cardinal's soldiers was also very well staged. They're not totally polished yet, but should be by the end of the run.

In summary: It's an entertaining show, and definitely worth seeing if you've got kids (ok, boys...) who like to watch people swinging swords around. It's not ground-breaking, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

The new first aid

So I took a First Aid class today. First training of that kind since, oh, 1990 when I thought I was going to be an EMT. And I must say, it's a lot different being on the "civilian" side of the class. The main difference is that in the "urban civillian" course (or whatever it was called), the main assumption is that professional help will arive in 10 to 15 minutes. In the EMT class, naturally, I was learning to be the professional help.

But those differences aside, it was a good class. And now if you drop from a heart attack or slice off a finger in front of me I'll have some idea of what to do, which is always a good thing!

Friday, October 03, 2008

Remote Derby, or the Wonder of Twitter

So this weekend is the Western Regionals Battle Royale to determine who gets to go to the WFTDA national championships at the Northwest Knockdown in Portland next month, and our beloved Rat City Rollergirls are already tearing up the track, blowing Tucson out of the water 180 - 71. That qualifies them for Nationals, and makes me feel much better about paying a hundred bucks for three days of Derby. Not that I wouldn't enjoy being there if the Rat girls weren't playing, but it's always nice to have your team involved.

What does this have to do with Twitter, you ask? Well, scores really. Today I was at work, and I couldn't really justify having the live Boutcast up on the Derby News Network site up on my screen all day, so I instead opted for the twitter feeds for RCRG and DNN. Not quite as good as watching the webcast or tracking the score and commentary live via the web, but better than not knowing how huge the lead was.

Tomorrow the RCRG take on the winner of the Rocky Mountain vs Texas bout, then (hopefully) it's on to the West finals!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Debate recap

If you missed it, here's my recap of the debate:

Biden: Glad to meet you, Governor, thanks for having me here, blah blah Obamma blah blah blah.

Palen: Nice to meet you, Senator, thanks for having me here, blah blah McCain blah blah blah.

Biden: I disagree with blah. But I agree with blah. Senator Obama didn't vote for blah, he voted for blah blah, which meant blah.

Palen: Tap blah, drill blah, security blah.

Biden: Blah blah, staying on point, blah.

Palen: In closing, vote McCain!

Biden: In closing, vote Obama!

I think that catches the high points...

We tuned in not because we thought we'd be swayed, but because come on: the odds of someone going completely off the rails was really high with these two. But other than Palin mispronouncifying nuke-u-lar and Biden not looking at the camera it was pretty darn tame. My main dissappointment: Biden didn't rise to the bait of Palin repeatedly talking about tapping stuff. Maybe after the mikes were off he said "Governor, I'd totally tap dat." We can only hope.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Wait...whaaah???

OK, I know, I should have seen it coming. But really...the non-aufing on tonight's Runway caught me by surprise. I really thought they were going to boot Kenley based solely on her attitude, but clearly I'm not a producer or I would have known that leaving her on the show and stretching the decision of the final thre out another week is good for bidness. Because we know already that six designers "showed" at Bryant Park for fashion week, so it doesn't really hurt them to push off the final elimination, now, does it?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Fall Fest photos

Finally got around to pulling the shots of the kids at the Fall Festival...clearly I screwed up the camera settings somehow, 'cause they ain't all that clear. Then again, the light was dimming since we were there late afternoon. Anyhow, enough with the excuses, on with the pix!

Logan and Maya on The Twister.
Or maybe it was The Tornado. One of those.



Maya and her friend Lee on the roller coaster


Logan and Lee on the roller coaster

Monday, September 29, 2008

Some days are just too gorgeous to spend at work

Today was such a day. Next to last day of September, yet it was sunny and warm. I really should have been doing something out doors. Golf, maybe. Riding my bike. Going for a walk. Pretty much anything but sitting at my desk. Ah well...hopefully I'll sneak out early on Thursday and get some golf in. Unfortunately by then it will be back to 60 and raining, but since I haven't played in about a year that will give me just the excuse I need for my crappy play!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A gorgeous Sunday

Even more gorgeous than yesterday, I think. And to celebrate we walked down to Patty's Egg Nest for brunch, ate too much (Denver omelette for me, pancakes for the boy, and pancakes with berries for the wife and girl), then stumbled home to park it on the couch and watch football.

And you'd think that with the Seahawks having a bye weekend it would be nice relaxing football watching, right? Wrong. Thanks to Fantasy NFL it was roughly as stressfull as a Seahawks game day. Or, at least, for the first 15 minutes or so. Then it became clear that my team was yet again going to wallow in mediocrity and I stopped updating the Stat tracker software.

The other big event of the day was letting the kids go to the Fall Festival thingy on their own. We gave them some cash - enough for the "all access" wrist band thingy so they could ride the rides, with change left over to buy snacks - and Paige's phone, and sent them on their way. And amazingly they actually checked in fairly often. Not that we told them to, mind you, just on their own. I guess they wanted to share the joy of The Sizzler with us. Something like that, anyway!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

A gorgeous Saturday

And a lazy one as well. Started out the morning writing notes begging for donations to my high school's annual fund (hey, someone has to pay for tuition assistance and whatnot...), then came home to host a play date for the daughter and later take the kids to the Fall Festival at the local Catholic church/school. 'cause nothing says late September like carnies and rickety rides!

In fact, the kids enjoyed it so much that we're sending them back tomorrow, only this time we'll spring for the all-access wrist band things so they can stay on the mini-roller coaster as long as they want. And we can have some peace and quiet around the house for once!

Friday, September 26, 2008

A day of slightly more clarity

At least by the end of it, anyway...

So as I posted last night, my company done got tooken over by JPM. And it wasn't really clear from the news reports whether all employees were now JPM employees, or if some of us would be reporting to the Fed this morning. So, as requested by an e-mail sent to all us now former WaMulians, I got up and went to work as usual this morning hoping someone would make everything clear.

That clarity finally came around 2:45 when we had a conference call with our CEO of 3 weeks and the head of JPM's retail operations who basically said "we're considering this a merger that we would have loved to do under any circumstances, things just got sped way up." Long story short, at some point in the future the integration plan will be ironed out and we'll know who's still got a job, but until then it's business as usual. So I did what anyone in a similar situation would do: left work early and went to a bar to drink and comiserate with co-workers.

Best lines of the day:

From a woman who came in today wearing a WaMu jacket: "I am SO yesterday..."

From a manager I know: "This is going to look great on my resume: Senior Manager in Credit Risk for the biggest bank failure in history."

From CEO Fishman: "Honest, I didn't take this job to sell the company."

That last one is a paraphrase...I didn't write down the exact quote, but that captures the gist.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

!oooH ooohW

That, naturally, is "Whooo Hooo!" backwards, "Whooo Hooo" being the misspelled catch phrase in WaMu's most recent ad campaign. If nothing else good comes out of this Federal / JPM fire sale at least we won't have to watch those ads any more.

What does this mean for me as a WaMu employee? Well, um, I'm not sure. If I worked in a branch I'd be pretty secure, since JPM doesn't have any (or not many) branches in the Seattle market. But I'm not - I'm back-office, and they've got plenty of them in New York. In fact, I'm not exactly sure where I end up in the big mix: does my department roll with the banking assets to JPM, or are we now part of the FDIC? Am I a Federal employee? And if so, does that mean I can arrest people? 'cause that would be kind of cool...

Anyhow, if you want to read up on what business writers and AP journalists and whatnot are saying, here are a few links:

CNN: JPMorgan buys WaMu

AP / Seattle Times: JPMorgan Chase buys WaMu assets after FDIC seizure

Yahoo! Finance: WaMu becomes biggest bank to fail in US history

Seattle PI: WaMu seized, sold

Oh, and on a lighter note, PETA would like Ben & Jerry's to stop abusing all those Vermont cows they milk to make ice cream and instead start abusing Vermont women and make ice cream from breast milk. Don't worry, Boob-Berry won't be in your grocer's freezer section any time soon.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Another night of delicious reality

So as I tweeted earlier this evening, tonight is the finest night of the week: First the fashion, then the fighting. The male and the female, yin and the yang of reality TV.

In case it wasn't obvious, I'm talking about Project Runway and Ultimate Fighter. And they didn't dissappoint.

First up on Runway we had the finest of all challenges, the "design for the other designers" challenge, this time with a music theme. And since there are only 5 designers left, they were in full sabeautage mode, mainly aimed at Kenley. Because let's face it, the only musical genre that might have worked for Kenley is Doo-Wop. Or maybe swing. But definitely not Hip Hop. So the rest of the designers, who may have known a thing or two about Hip Hop, basically didn't contradict anything she wanted to do. Not exactly throwing her under the bus, but certainly not stopping her from jumping under it herself. In the end, though, it was Suede's inability to bring the rock (and annoying habit of referring to himself in the third person) that led to his being "auf'd". Poor Suede...

After my feminine side (or fashion side, or whatever side it is that likes Runway) had had it's fill it was time to bring on the testosterone. It's week 2 of Ultimate Fighter, and like last season they're starting things off with guys fighting to get in the house. And really, there's nothing that drives the fashionista out of your system like 8 MMA fights in an hour!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Further proof the world is spinning out of control

First we had the tale yesterday of the Portland construction workers complaining about the naked chick rollerblading (and if you want some photos of Earth Friend Gen there are some NSFW ones here...thanks to Cosmic Dave for digging those up for me!).

Then today we had dual stories of pigs on the rampage, first in Australia where a pig "the size of a Shetland pony" has trapped a woman in her house (which means she can't get to her out-door bathroom), and then in Berlin where the city is being ruled by wild boars. Both areas could use some help from Asterix and Obelix, clearly.

Monday, September 22, 2008

WTF?

That was the question I posed to my brother-in-law, a reporter down in Portland. I figured if anyone would know why Portland Construction workers would complain about a nude skater he would. But unfortunately he couldn't come up with anything. And as you can see in the video, she's not ugly. A bit of a hippie, sure, but it is a story from Portland, after all!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Second post of the day will not be as exciting as promised

Why? Because it's late, I'm tired, and I haven't got anything worthwhile to say. I was going to post some photos from last night's bout, but I didn't spend the time on the computer today that would have gotten them ready. Well, that's not quite true...I did retouch this fine shot of the crowd waiting outside in the rain:



The people on the right side were waiting in line for "day of" tickets. Turned out there were 30 of them, all for people 21 and over. The guy in the front of the line (not pictured) needed 2 adults and 2 kids. He was not happy to find out he'd been standing in the rain for over an hour for no reason at all. My advice to him: next time, buy on line.

All in all the bout was great. My beloved Throttle Rockets won the grudge match against Grave Danger, the Derby Liberation Front finished the season undefeated (as expected) with a win over the Sockit Wenches, and I got this fine photo of the Tamachio (sp?) sisters flying in formation:

Whoops!

Totally forgot to post last night. And it's not like I was super busy or anything...I spent most of the day sitting around the house doing minor chores and whatnot, then ran some errands, then went to the roller derby in the evening. You'd think I could have remembered to blorg about it all, but apparently that was too much to ask. So instead I'll post twice today, with this lame excuse for an entry first, followed by a far more scintillating entry in a couple hours. And by "scintillating" I naturally mean "longer". 'cause I'm pretty sure it won't be more interesting.

Friday, September 19, 2008

An interesting week...

I don't usually blorg about work, but damn...after this week it's tempting. And I'm going to succumb to that temptation. I was going to write it in piratical in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, but after about eight "Ye"s and a few "avasts" it got too dang hard. So instead, here's the blorg in plain ol' English:

For those who don't actually know me (and I doubt there are any...), I work for a bank. A bank to remain nameless in case someone from HR comes nosing around. Banks had a pretty darn bad week on Wall Street this week, and we were no exception. The highlight of the week, though, came on Wednesday when there were two news vans parked across the street. I'm fairly certain they were trolling for a new Lehman Brothers scene with the masses exiting the building carrying boxes. In fact, one of the guys on the floor offered to do just that to see what would happen, but the stock was already taking a beating and we decided it might not be a good idea to add that image to the market.

I'm not a financial guru, so I don't know if the anti-short actions taken by the SEC will have any long-term effect or not, but it was nice to have a couple days at the end of the week where the market as a whole rallied!

And that ends work chat.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Another sweet personal flight option


So there's this Swiss guy whose nickname is "FusionMan" who is planning to fly across the English Channel next week using a jet-powered wing attached to his back. So kind of like the Rocketeer, only not as handsome as Billy Campbell and likely without Jennifer Connelly's rocket bra. Or Alan Arkin as the quirky inventor. In any case, his plan is to get dumped out of a plane at 8,200 feet over France, then jet furiously across the channel before landing in Dover. I think the landing involves cutting the wing loose and parachuting down, but I might be wrong.

That part kind of kills the marketability of the jet wing dealy, however sweet it may look. Because let's face it, if I want to fly to work I'm not going to want to go find a plane first, let alone parachute in to the parking lot and then have to wander around trying to find my wing. So I'd probably opt for the coffee-cup jet pack thing unveiled back in July that's supposed to go on sale next year. I'll have to win the lottery to own one, but then that's probably true about the wing dealio as well.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A few observations based on the world of reality television

So I thought I'd share a few observations on personality and behavior that I have observed in my close study of reality television. Well, ok, so technically it's not a close study, more like a distracted study. And the observations are actually just based on two shows, Project Runway and The Ultimate Fighter, but that doesn't make them less true.
  1. Cocky people can be really annoying. This is true on both shows. Designer Kenley is really cocky and sure of herself, which is annoying. Fortunately for me, she's also cute so I can turn down the sound and just ogle her. Similarly, Jodie (Jamie? Jimmy? Something ending in a "Y" sound) on Ultimate Fighter is insanely cocky, but he's also a badass and so I can just watch him fight. Problem solved.

  2. Cocky people who don't put up go home. Again, true on both shows. Designer Joe was generally pretty cocky and he got "Auf'd" tonight. Last week they kicked off Terri who, while generally pretty good, was also crazy cocky and blew a few things. And tonight the guy fighting Jimmy/Jamie/Jodie/Whatevery was crazy cocky, comparing himself to Alexander the Great and Hitler (but in a good way...wait, there's a good way to compare yourself to Hitler? No, sorry, there isn't). He then pussed out after the first round when it was fairly clear that the Y guy was nearly gassed. Why? Well, according to his exit interview it was because he was pretty and didn't want to get disfigured. But maybe he just missed Mom's basement.

  3. Just because you're a famous person's relative doesn't make you good too. OK, this one doesn't really have a tie-in to Runway, 'cause I don't think any of those people is Donna Karan's little sister or anything, but on tonight's Ultimate Fighter we had the brother of Rashad Evans (winner of season 2 of Ultimate Fighter and undefeated in the UFC), who I suppose was more unlucky than bad (he caught a bad kick and broke a rib). And then we had the brother of, um, I forget the guy's name but he's really fun to watch. Anyhow, bro is apparently around 30 and didn't really think "gee, I'm going to be on a show about fighting, maybe I should get close to my fighting weight." So he had to cut 10 pounds in a day and ended up cramped up, one pound over, and going home. Sorry, sucker, you blew your chance!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Global warming's effect on ice bergs

I couldn't possibly write this up as well as Metro.co.uk did, so I won't. I'll just quote them: "it is only a matter of time before an armada of penis-shaped chunks begin to break off the Antarctic ice floes, and then roam the oceans wreaking havoc and luring sailors to their doom."

Cockberg

Monday, September 15, 2008

Things I'm not too fond of right now

Not sure what's got my hackles up tonight, but it seemed like a good time to bitch for a few minutes...
  1. Banking / Financial / Credit / Housing crunch. I work for a bank. We're getting pounded. I've been there for almost 7 years, so I was there when all the crappy loans were being made. At the time I, and other people in the risk departments, said "hey, you probably shouldn't loan money to people without making sure that they can pay it back..." but the powers that be ignored us (well, ok, not actually me, but other people I knew) because that was where the profit was. Short-term profit, long-term pain. Oy.
  2. The Seattle Seahawks. Man, two straight painful losses. I'm so disgusted by the level of play that I'm pondering not going to the game against the Rams next week so I can turn the TV off if it gets too painful. I'm hoping this one will rectify itself over the next few days, but I'm not too convinced it will.
  3. Calls from the DNC. Please, people: I'm in a blue state. And while we're more of a swing state this time around, I'm in the bluest of blue counties in the state, and in the bluest of blue districts in that county. My Representative is practically a communist he's so far to the left. You don't have to keep calling me to tell me to vote for Obama. Spend your money calling someone in a more pivotal area. Oh, and don't ask me for any money either, 'cause did I mention I work for a bank?
  4. Fantasy NFL. Two straight losses, much like my beloved yet frustrating Seahawks. And worse yet, I was obliged to draft TO this year because he's really good. Obnoxious and hateful, sure, but damn good at that "catch the ball and run in to the end zone" thing. Unfortunately he's not saving the day.
  5. People who really, really, REALLY need to bitch to me about Sarah Palin, or John McCain, or Dino Rossi, or anyone else on the right and how evil they are, how only stupid people will vote for them, etcetera etcetera ad nauseum. I get it. I'm not voting for them anyway. You don't need to convince me. And really, talking about how you're smart because you're voting for one person, while other people are idiots for voting for the other guy is insulting to everyone. So please review #3 above and move on to something worth talking about, like the upcoming season of Ultimate Fighter. Or whether you'd kick Kenley out of bed for that Godaweful laugh. And if you MUST talk politics, can we please focus on some actual issues like, oh, abortion, or the war, or the economy? Because the whole "she doesn't have the experience to be Vice President" thing is a complete waste of my time.
Thank you for your attention. You may now return to your countdown until the new season of The Office.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Spoke too soon

Or posted too soon...one of those. I ended yesterday's post with the phrase "since we're playing the 49ers there's a pretty dang good chance we'll actually win the game." Don't know what I was thinking.

Oh wait, yes I do. I was thinking that the Seahawks were a reasonably good team. Apparently I was wrong. Whether you blame the injuries to the starting receivers, the lack of a decent offensive line, the weather, it just doesn't matter: they have managed to stink it up two weeks in a row.

The running game wasn't too heinous today - Jones rushed for 127 yards, mainly in 3 and 4 yard carries. He got a TD, as did Duckett. But the passing game blew (top receiver was, I believe, the Tight End), the special teams were mediocre (a vast improvement from last week's abysmal performance), and the defense spent all their time containing running back Frank Gore and as a result let the quarterback light them up for 321 yards (first time in 4 years the 49ers have had a 300-yard passing game). This from a QB from the noted football factory of UC Davis.

Let's try it again: Next week the Rams come to town, and they've proven over the last two weeks that they suck. So again, there's a pretty dang good chance we'll actually win the game. We'd darn well better...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

A weekend full of entertainment

Man, busy times this weekend. Let's see...started things rolling on Friday by sitting on the couch surfing the Internet and watching Ike slam in to Texas. I must say, being a Northwesterner and in no way affected by hurricanes (other than gas and fruit prices) I really enjoy hurricane season. And the Ike coverage was prime. The Weather Channel had a guy in Galveston, a guy somewhere inland, and a lady in a parking garage somewhere else. And it was windy and raining. And they had apparently been on the air for about 12 hours in a row and were running out of things to say. Genius.

CNN was spotty in their coverage, 'cause they had other things to run. Same with CNBC and MSNBC, but I hit paydirt with Fox News. Yeah, it's Fox News and as a liberal-leaning guy I'm supposed to avoid them like the plague. But there's something about Geraldo Rivera standing on a beach, his lips moving completely out of sync with his voice, that draws you in. Sure, you're only drawn in because you expect him to be washed out to sea any minute, but still...gripping. That and the liberal use of Google Maps and Google Earth to show us how dang narrow Galveston Island is, or where exactly the other person was standing.

Anyhow, after that excitement I spent the morning being yelled at by my daughter while we tried to get her to pack her bag for her Girl Scout camping trip, then went desk shopping for the wife. Then it was back to the couch (that shopping is exhausting!) and some Halo for a bit before we loaded up again and went out to dinner with some friends. Dinner (at Divine...highly recommended) was delicious, the company was great, and we completely dominated the conversation with tales of my eye injury and surgery and our great summer trek.

And the excitement won't end there, oh no. 'cause tomorrow is the home opener for the Seahawks, and since we're playing the 49ers there's a pretty dang good chance we'll actually win the game!

Friday, September 12, 2008

It doesn't happen very often...

...but on occasion something comes up that makes me wish I lived in England. Having a yoghurt and thinking about how much better they are over there, for example. A sudden urge to drive on the left. Or wanting to go out and re-chalk a giant penis.

If you're reading this and you're in England, please go and let me know how it was. If you're not in England and think I'm making it up, here's a photo of the Giant Penis Man.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Eye photos

Man, these ones are boring when you compare them to the ones I took right after the surgery, let alone those taken the day of the accident! As you can see, I've only got a little pink line next to the eye. That and some lingering (but improving) numbness around the lower eye lid and twinges when I wince (or put on swim goggles that are too tight...wonder if that will limit my snorkeling the next time I go somewhere warm enough to snorkel?) are all I've got left to remind me about the crash. well, that and a smashed-up helmet...


Today's head shot, minus lower chin


Close-up with the eye open


Close-up with the eye closed...teeny pink line is pretty much it!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Eye update

Don't have the time or energy tonight to do an eye photo, but will try to get one up tomorrow. Realized after I got a few tweets about it that I didn't give an update on the eye here, just the tweet about the eye doctor being delayed because some other patient had a vitreous hemorrhage. Well, once I finally got in there (about 30 minutes late) he looked at me, watched the eyes move, gave me the all too familiar yellow dye eye drops to check for eye pressure, and gave me the "get outta here".

Well, a modified "get outta here", really...I have to go back in 6 months to check in again, because in his words (or a paraphrase of them anyway) "with injuries like this things can manifest themselves up to a year later." At that point he's going to dilate me as well, which will mean I'll finally be able to deliver my eye baby. Thank God!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

News of the day

Sweet little 8 pound baby Jesus this is a great news day! OK, so some of these probably broke yesterday, but I'm slow on the uptake. But any day with these two opening lines is not to be missed. First up, we have this freakish crime description:
Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.


The sausage whacking is what does it for me. To quote Ebby Calvin "Nuke" Laloosh from Bull Durham, "That doesn't make me gay, does it?"

Then we have this guy, who blames his OCD for his inability to resist the siren call of the Big Mac. Sure, the OCD shows up in this line, but that's just tracking them. Not the eating...
Gorske has kept every burger receipt in a box. He says he was always fascinated with numbers, and watching McDonald's track its number of customers motivated him to track his own consumption.

Monday, September 08, 2008

I smell like a pool

Man, it's been a while since I stank of chlorine...took the kids to the public swim this evening so Logan could knock out his swim test for the Boy Scouts (at his age it's simple: jump in to water over your head, swim 25 feet, turn around and swim back). And since we were paying for the whole session anyway we hung out and played for a while. Which meant that a) I now stink of pool, and b) my toes are raw from rubbing on the bottom. But it's a good raw...

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Mt. Pilchuck hike details

So I know you want more details of the epic climb of Mt. Pilchuck on Saturday, so here you go.

Saturday dawned partly cloudy in Seattle, with fog over the sound and sun at our house. Got the boy up, fed him some French toast, then headed over to the school to meet the Troop. Or, rather, to meet the other kid who was going on the hike. That's right, one other kid. We called one boy who we thought would be coming and his Dad's response was "I guess we're not coming..."

Well, not to be daunted by low numbers we piled in to the cars (I took the boys, Scoutmaster Mark and his wife and dog rode in their van) and headed up to Mt. Pilchuck. I'd never been there before, but I'd heard the view from the top was beautiful. And on a nice sunny day it should be right? Well, sure, except for one little fact: "weather conditions in the mountains can change rapidly." Or, rather, "weather conditions in the mountains won't be the same as at your house. Unless you live in the mountains."

The farther north-east we drove, the cloudier it got. And by the time we turned off the Mountain Loop Highway on to the Mt. Pilchuck road it was clear that we would be parking in the cloud. The only question was how thin the cloud cover was and whether in the 2,224 feet of climb we'd come out the other side.

We started off with some map and compass work, since part of the reason we were going on the hike was to knock off the "using a map and compass take a 5-mile hike" requirement for the 2nd Class rank. They learned about the difference between true north and magnetic north, how to orient the map, all that stuff. And it looked something like this:



Once that was done we set off up the trail. It started off wet. A creek, really, with gravel and large rocks keeping us from wading through mud. But later it turned in to your standard Northwest mountain trail: mud, roots, and rocks all contained by logs.



It drizzled a bit, then let up, then we climbed in to the cloud propper and it got foggy. Not severely foggy, and the trees kept most of it off, but definitely dim and damp. And then we broke out of the trees and in to boulder fields. Which, being a slacker, I neglected to photograph. I also neglected to photograph the top of the old Mt. Pilchuck ski lift, a big square (or maybe hexagonal) concrete platform with bolts sticking out of it. In fact, I didn't photograph anything until we got to the top, mostly because I was too busy concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other and not collapsing in a heap and sobbing. Because let me tell you, that's a steep trail. Especially if you're a 41-year-old fat guy who hasn't been to the gym in a while.

Finally, though, we clambered up the 3 miles and made it to the lookout shelter at the top and could see the wonderful view from the summit of Mt. Pilchuck:



Yes, the clouds never lifted, the fog didn't blow away, nothing. There was a pretty decent breeze at the top, but it was just blowing the cloud around rather than making it dissipate. So we sat on the rocks and ate some lunch, when disaster struck and Logan fell off a cliff. Fortunately I was in position to capture him going over:



It's amazing he didn't fall on me, really, what with the camera angle and all...

Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, the trip down hurt as much as the trip up. Well, maybe not AS much, but still a lot. Although in different places...

Saturday, September 06, 2008

An exhausting Saturday

Both physically and, um, humorically. Started out the day climbing Mt. Pilchuck with Logan, another boy from his Troop, and their Scoutmaster and his wife (and aged dog Loki). Pictures will be posted tomorrow. Suffice it to say that wore both of us out but good.

Ended the day seeing Patton Oswalt perform. Oh my God. The opening act, whose name escapes me (I think it was Kyle Kinnear, but nothing comes up when I google that so clearly I'm wrong) was a riot, and Patton was genius. Any show that starts with the line "So I chapped my dick in Salt Lake City...let me back up" is pretty much guaranteed not to suck, and it didn't.

And now it's 11:45, I'm exhausted from hiking and laughing, and I'm writing a blog instead of going to bed. That's the kind of dedication I bring to the table. Or the bad judgement. One of those.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Too tired to blog anything interesting

Not to imply that when I haven't been tired I've blogged anything interesting, but I'm beat. Sure, I could have posted earlier when I wasn't, but I didn't. Instead I sat around flipping between The Soup and xbox golf, and later between Chelsea Lately and Links golf on the xbox. That's what kind of excitement we've got going on in the Chicken house tonight...

And now I need to hit the rack, 'cause it's an early morning and a strenuous day hike with the Scouts up Mt. Pilchuck, elevation five thousand something feet, 2,200 or so of which we get to walk up. Over 3 miles. Sounds steep.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Thanks, YLNT!

So our good friends at You Look Nice Today (for the record, I don't know any of them but suspect that Mr. Jack Chicken might) tweeted a couple tweets on the twitter today. They were, and I quote:
YLNT Lexicon: If X is past its prime, it becomes "X Starship." @fireland employs it effectively here: http://xrl.us/oqarc

(The preceding rule, like all good rules, has a defining exception. In this case: http://www.chickenstarship.com )


I guess this means I should update the web site...

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

First day of school!

The first day of school has come and gone, and both kids had a great day. Maya is enraptured with her teacher, which is good and hopefully won't wear off too soon. Logan survived his first day of middle school, ate almost all his lunch, and came home energized and psyched. All of which is good, 'cause he was mildly dreading it yesterday. Oh, and no complaints about how he doesn't get recess either, which is a good thing.

We took the traditional "first day of school" photo, and while he didn't take his hood off rest assured Logan does indeed have hair. We didn't walk to school this year because Paige, in her last year as PTA President, had the honor of waiting at the local Starbucks for them to fill up the cardboard coffee thingies that she'd ordered on, oh, Saturday. Apparently they "didn't write it down in the log." Whatever.

Anyhoo, here's the slide show!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

It's not the first day of school

Not yet. That's tomorrow. Which makes this what, First Day of School Eve? Something like that. And like Christmas Eve, the children are all aflutter with excitement. Or maybe it's just that they've been staying up late for the last two and a half months and as a result are having a hard time going to bed at 10.

Whatever the reason, they're going to be sorely tired come 7:30 tomorrow morning when we roll them out of bed. If only I played the bugle...

Monday, September 01, 2008

One of the great things about working downtown is...

...the weird stuff that goes on. Sure, there are drug dealers and users wandering around, and busy type-a business folk barreling down the sidewalk and whatnot, but once in a while you come around the corner and find six ladies wearing nothing but aprons.



No, I didn't take the picture...that credit goes to the great and lucky Joshua Trujillo of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. The story, as you'll see here, is that these women work for Lush Fresh Handmade Cosmetics in Westlake Mall and figured the best way to promote their all natural products was to go out au natural. Or however that's spelled.

I, being a boring guy who rarely leaves the building at lunch, missed out on this wonder. So I have to live vicariously through the two guys behind them...between the expression on the black guy's face and the camera-phone wielding white dude, it was apparently quite a sight.